Dog friendly? What would you do?

To be fair a country walk is the sort of meet up where I would expect people to turn up with dogs.

Thistlelass

If I had been I'm that group I would have said I would eat in the 'dog' area with you. Maybe tried to encourage others to think about it also.

Me too - think I would have preferred the company of the dog than some of the group

Strange we're not hearing any more from the OP. Perhaps she's busy, out, or just unavailable, fair enough, but it would be nice to know if hers was the only dog, if the eating out situation has been discussed in advance and if any other compromise was suggested. If mine had been the only dog I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have taken her. Just because we think the sun shines out of her, we also understand that not everyone does.

I’m surprised that there weren’t any other dogs there too
(I think that it’s obvious that there weren’t, as Rose would have mentioned what they and there dog did in the situation).

I thought that one of the main reasons, if not the reason, for a country walk was dogs.

Please don’t berate the op for not returning, she might be upset about yesterday’s events, especially if it involved close friends.
Sometimes I’ve started a thread, and then sort of wished I hadn’t (as have others, I imagine )

I would go home, I go nowhere without my dogs,

No,I'm not berating her, I thought I made that clear. I am curious as to whether it was a doggy walk or whether it was just one dog involved. Also if it was discussed whether friends changed their attitude at the last minute, which would certainly put a different light on things.

We go on country walks regularly and we don't have dogs.

I am not a dog owner but I can see this from the OP point of view and seemingly that of many others contributors. I certainly would not expect my friends to leave their dogs tied up outside a restaurant nor would I expect them to be alone during the meal. Had I been with this group I would have opted to sit in the dog friendly area with the dog owner and stuff the rest of the party because they are not worthy of anyones friendship.

Simply pointing out that there are two sides to this doesn't mean that anyone can't see it from the OP's point of view. I can absolutely see it from both sides, but that means seeing the friends' point as well as the OP's. Jumping to one side and saying 'stuff the rest of the party' is not going to help the OP to understand where the others are coming from, so is not being helpful to her at all.

Incidentally, I am not berating her either. I can understand her being upset, but feel that there is either more to this story than we know, or that the OP simply doesn't realise that there is another point of view.

Some dog owners can't see the other point of view unfortunately. As mentioned on previous posts, I have been called a not very nice person because I don't like dogs, as has my husband. However, I would have sat with the friend and the dog.

We have 3 dogs, walk them 4 times a day - before meals and bed. We'd never take them out with other people or dogs, alien thought to me.

I still understand where OP is coming from, and still contend I'd not leave her to lunch alone in a different space to the other friends.

I know my answer is based on our 8-10 miles a day walking, I have no interest in any more dog walking. Other people are in different situations.

Kate1949

Some dog owners can't see the other point of view unfortunately. As mentioned on previous posts, I have been called a not very nice person because I don't like dogs, as has my husband. However, I would have sat with the friend and the dog.

I do know what you mean Kate.
As much as I adore every hair on my dog’s little fluffy head; I have met some dogs that I definitely do not like.
Unfortunately, one was a rather nasty (and smelly) character who was a constant presence in our local pub (he was the landlord’s dog)

It's the assumption that you're not nice because you don't like them that gets me. My husband is the same as me and has been called 'not nice. Mind you, he's a dreadful man. Fancy him going through an operation to give his bone marrow to a stranger in another country. Dreadful man!

Jaberwok

Strange we're not hearing any more from the OP. Perhaps she's busy, out, or just unavailable, fair enough, but it would be nice to know if hers was the only dog, if the eating out situation has been discussed in advance and if any other compromise was suggested. If mine had been the only dog I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have taken her. Just because we think the sun shines out of her, we also understand that not everyone does.

This is true, and hard to answer the OP without knowing.
However, I do not think real friends would leave you to eat on your own, and trying up the dog out of sight would be unfair to it and he would probably bark and whine anyway.
So I would have said that to my friends and gone home.

I imagine the OPs dog was the only one on this walk as the other people didn't have the dog access problem. However, she has told us, "I have walked with this group before with no problems regarding dogs, mine or anyone else's."

So with this group dogs, and the OPs dog in particular are known to the group, come on walks and are generally accepted as part and parcel of the walk.

Isn't it interesting how we all have different takes on dogs, friendship and where compromise becomes coercion.

Yes, I’ve been quite taken aback by the number of people who said they would dump their friends if the friends wouldn’t do what they wanted.

Still I suppose it makes sense. Eventually you only have a circle that will always give in to you. And you’re happy.

Lathyrus

Yes, I’ve been quite taken aback by the number of people who said they would dump their friends if the friends wouldn’t do what they wanted.

Still I suppose it makes sense. Eventually you only have a circle that will always give in to you. And you’re happy.

And of course you always have your dog.

Every month I go along with my friend to an event I don't enjoy. She couldn't go if I didn't accompany her. I go because it enables her to do the thing she loves and it makes me happy to see her enjoy it. Over the years she's done so many things for me that I know aren't quite her thing and she's also helped me out when I've needed it as I have her. If we have a problem with each other, we talk about it, we don't just cut the other off. It's a bit of give and take and we all live like that don't we?

I've not heard anyone here saying they would dump people who don't give in to them, or that they would dump friends until they have only those who defer to them. People felt sorry for the OP who was abandoned without explanation. If it is that the dog is a nuisance, not one of them had the decency, courage or trusted their communication skills enough to talk to her about it. That was unkind.

I get that we're never going to agree on this.

Of course, friendships, relationships, being neighbours etc all takes give and take. We all tolerate things to keep the peace and as not hurt others (within reason)

If I'm organising a walk finishing with a meal, I'd check that all the participants are catered for. For a vegan, I'd make sure there was something on the menu, for someone with mobility issues, that the walk was safe for them, and they could attempt it. Elderly- not too taxing. And obviously transport, that all could attend and get home.
Organising a get-together that excludes some, is counterproductive.
I read this thread, on and off, for a couple of days. Some of the comments are just strange.

I walk with a group of older people most of us using poles and someone new turned up with two lively dogs who ended up tripping a couple of the walkers. I wasn’t there that week but the owner was asked not to bring them again.
I am not alone in being nervous of dogs, but owners seem to think if they love their dogs then everyone should. Sometimes I wish they loved them enough to clear up after them instead of flinging plastic bags of poo into bushes or just leaving them on the side of the path fir others to tread on/clear up.

I wouldnt have left her to eat alone though.

Number 3

I would have broken away from the main group and made sure I ate my lunch with you and your dog. It is common courtesy and kindness to consider others. Obviously, if the dog is crazy, then it becomes a social issue but not if the dog is well behaved.

I don't know if you are reading, OP; but in case you are I'll repeat the question I asked earlier in case you missed it - why do you think things happened as they did? Did you ask people to join you in the dog-friendly room and have them refuse, or was there something that happened during the outing that might have led to the 'incident'? It does seem odd for people you have known for years to behave like this.