Self care and self neglect

Nandad, Kate, VS
A couple of years ago I suffered from Alopaecia….several bald patches. I bought a kind of spray which filled in the patches. I don’t know if that will be of any help for you.
My hair grew back eventually, but now, due to the ageing process, it’s thinning and I might order a can again.

Thanks CrazyH that might be good around my temples

Thank you crazyH. I know about the spray. No good if you have no hair like me but great for patches I believe.

For self care I keep very active with netball, golf, walking, look after my skin, my diet etc. I don't know that I care for my own mental health well enough. I could benefit from some councelling but the expense puts me off.

Kate1949

Thank you crazyH. I know about the spray. No good if you have no hair like me but great for patches I believe.

Any good for post chemo hair. Mine is growing back but the fringe bit is still way too short ?
What is it called ?

Its not whinging to share a sorrow that none of us would feel too good about Kate.

Its indeed the little things, trying to find the joy in the little things in the turmoil of life around us. Feeling we have a right to happiness. Yes, hobbies, interests, friends if we are able. Self care, yes, even when life doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. Cultivate the time not just to "observe the lilies" ....but take pleasure in them

I dont know why but this poem is leaping into my mind.
www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html

yes Violet these things do add up. Somehow as the trials and tribulations come we still have to try...and sometimes even succeed!

I know exactly what you mean by self-neglect Violet sky. When I'm portioning out food I always serve myself any dry bits & give the others extra sauce or yummy bits.I do like wearing cotton /linen shirts so need to iron those, but most things I will iron for the others but shake'n fold for mine. Self care- when I'm really tired I will stop although there's still a million things to do, & sit in the garden or play fetch with the dog or read a few pages before getting back to it.

Lucca. I know about the spray but haven't used them. I believe they are fibres. I think there is one called Topik or similar.

Kate1949

Thank you crazyH. I know about the spray. No good if you have no hair like me but great for patches I believe.

My hair didn't come back properly after the last cancer chemo. Yes I know I have to be grateful I'm still alive but we are judged on appearance and what looks exactly like advanced male pattern baldness is bloody horrible. I do try a hairstyle camouflage but to be honest it's really worse than Bobbie Charlton's famous (infamous?) comb-over lol

One of them is called ‘Boost and Blend’, but that’s not the one I used - can’t remember the name. I suppose there are more than one brand. Try Googling ‘hair fibre spray’. Wish you all the best.
Rosie - glad you’re doing well

I'm sure it isn't Rosie. You are right. Male pattern baldness us 'bloody horrible'. I have spent the last few years apologising for crying, not wanting to be on photos, go on holiday, go to parties, weddings. Also listening to people saying 'well at least you're not ill' or as one woman said to me 'for goodness sake it's only hair.' Well it is but hers was lovely and thick.
.

I've used the spray on fibres for thinning hair, called Topix, and it was pretty good.

THICK FIBER Hair Building Fibres for Thinning Hair (Pack of 1 DARK BROWN) | Hair Powder for Thinning Hair 25g Bottle | Make Hair Look Thicker in Seconds | Hair Loss Concealer Women & Men Hair Fibres amzn.eu/d/7dZhOX6

My hair is still thick and down to my waist. Washing it is a chore so I often feel like shaving it off and wearing a wig (of which I have many for my vintage accessories business). I like to shower twice a day. To me self care is doing what I want to do when I want to do it. So I eat when Im hungry and go to bed when I feel tired and dont answer to anyone elses schedule if I can help it.

I'm going through a tough time just now, relationship issues, and definitely aware of self neglect. Eating properly is just not on my agenda because sometimes my stomach is so tied in knots I just can't eat. Or else I do eat and then suffer for it and have bought my first ever indigestion remedy. Prior to this I would say I had a cast iron stomach. I do like breakfast though and my usual, fruit, greek yoghurt and granola never upsets me.
I can't remember when I last used nail varnish though i did spend some time pampering my feet the other day.
I do also make myself spend time in the evenings on my crocheting while i watch some lighthearted tv. I can't seem to concentrate on anything too demanding just now.
In some respect I know I am neglecting myself just now but I also know that I'll come through this patch and I'll feel better.

Kate1949

I'm sure it isn't Rosie. You are right. Male pattern baldness us 'bloody horrible'. I have spent the last few years apologising for crying, not wanting to be on photos, go on holiday, go to parties, weddings. Also listening to people saying 'well at least you're not ill' or as one woman said to me 'for goodness sake it's only hair.' Well it is but hers was lovely and thick.
.

Thanks all. The insensitivity of the unaffected can be the worst to bear. Goodness I cry every time I wash and dry my hair, which is why it's only twice a week. My hair was so thick hairdressers always, but always commented, and often complained, about the thickness. I longed for thinner hair. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it! Actually if what I've got was evenly distributed it would be thin but Okish, but all at the nape of my neck doesn't work. Can't get on with wigs, although I really persevered during the last lot of chemo. Dreading getting balder, but hey ho keep getting reminders from the unaffected, just remember how lucky I am, not everybody survives.

It always seems like it would be fun to wear wigs in different styles and colours, but it's really not, when you know how it look underneath, or that its itchy, sweaty, or about to slip off.

Rosie Goodness me you have done SO well. If I can reassure you at all I will try. I am completely bald. (That was hard for me to type). I totally understand why you 'dread getting balder'. I am there. But you will find a solution. You will. It's has been difficult for me but not as difficult as it has been for you as you have been ill. You are doing great.

Kate1949 thank you, you are so very kind. I dread being completely bald, but I really hope I've not been insensitive to you. I've had three different cancers, my latest oncologist can't tell me how I survived the last, he says it defies all knowledge of how cancer works. Hair loss is hair loss ,it doesn't matter the cause, we all suffer the sadness, hopelessness, the embarrassment. We should unite, bald women are still women and we're still beautiful! Women are strong, let's celebrate that ❤️

biglouis Really? You feel like shaving it off? Wow. Try not having it.

Yes Rosie. Reading your story, hair loss is the least of it. No you haven't been insensitive but have made me feel grateful. Good luck to you.

valdali

I know exactly what you mean by self-neglect Violet sky. When I'm portioning out food I always serve myself any dry bits & give the others extra sauce or yummy bits.I do like wearing cotton /linen shirts so need to iron those, but most things I will iron for the others but shake'n fold for mine. Self care- when I'm really tired I will stop although there's still a million things to do, & sit in the garden or play fetch with the dog or read a few pages before getting back to it.

Yes!

Little things so add up

I used to always spend money I was given at birthdays and Christmas on the children and I did manage to stop that one recently.

Kate1949

Yes Rosie. Reading your story, hair loss is the least of it. No you haven't been insensitive but have made me feel grateful. Good luck to you.

There are so many on this forum that are insensitive to others ( mostly through ignorance to be fair), I just want to say thank you, and I wish the very best to you. You truly are an example of the best we can hope to be. ❤️

MissAdventure

It always seems like it would be fun to wear wigs in different styles and colours, but it's really not, when you know how it look underneath, or that its itchy, sweaty, or about to slip off.

You wouldn't believe the hours I spent in the Ladies loos trying to reach a happy medium between security and not looking like there was a big arrow above my head saying 'wig, wig, wig '

I wish I had the right words to confirm those with hair loss.

Society gets so much wrong sometimes and places so much pressure on women to look certain ways.

For me, being not neurotypical, while I can recognise what is considered beautiful, it's not in any way my priority.

For me everything about beauty shines out from the inside and thats how I see attractive.

Obviously doesn't work on myself

But I don't notice haircuts or more or less makeup easily and I don't make much eye contact anyway..

I wish it were that way for everyone because I sometimes feel, if beauty all came from within, we'd all work so much harder to be kind