Self care and self neglect

That's the difference.Those of us with hair loss live in the real world that judges us, those that live in an idealised world can wax lyrical on how things should be..... and never the twain shall meet. I don't know about others but I feel patronised and discounted by those who say hair loss doesn't really matter.

Rosie

I said up thread that I am suffering ongoing hair loss myself after thyroid issues and I also mentioned my receding temples

I'm sorry for your issues I truly am but I'm not going to allow this to get personal here

VioletSky

Rosie

I said up thread that I am suffering ongoing hair loss myself after thyroid issues and I also mentioned my receding temples

I'm sorry for your issues I truly am but I'm not going to allow this to get personal here

eh? I wish my only hair loss was temples, but can't see where the 'personal' bit comes from. I know you don't like me, but would have hoped my hairloss distress would at least have prevented you from addressing me personally. It really affects me every day as I'm sure other hair loss survivors can confirm

To all who have thinning hair or have lost it altogether, my commiserations, for both men and women, but particularly women, our hair is part of who we are and is hard to lose it.
My friend who lost hers due to cancer treatment, wears a wig for special occasions but a colourful scarf wrapped around for everyday.You can buy all cotton ones for comfort.

I don't really blame people for being, what I feel is insensitive. How would they possibly know what it feels like? Just as I wouldn't know what it's like to have say, cancer. My husband has cancer (in remission) and I know what he's been through but can't possibly know how it feels. My mum had severe hair loss. It's only since it's happened to me that I realise how she must have felt. To me she was just 'mum'. I hope that makes sense. Sorry to take over the thread.

VioletSky

Kate if it helps in any way my hair is also now very thin. It hasn't recovered after thyroid issues. I've cried over my hairbrush many times and the problem is getting worse. I've had to cut so much off the length and when the end of my pony tail becomes thinner and thinner it is a bit soul destroying. My only saving grace is that it's curly enough to hide it a little

You are still beautiful and you deserve to love yourself

.

Kate1949

I don't really blame people for being, what I feel is insensitive. How would they possibly know what it feels like? Just as I wouldn't know what it's like to have say, cancer. My husband has cancer (in remission) and I know what he's been through but can't possibly know how it feels. My mum had severe hair loss. It's only since it's happened to me that I realise how she must have felt. To me she was just 'mum'. I hope that makes sense. Sorry to take over the thread.

I would never presume to know what it feels like to lose your hair. I have had friends who have lost their hair through cancer treatment and they have all said that losing their hair was the worst part of the whole thing. One friend had the most fabulous wig which looked amazing on her, but another couldn't get on with wigs at all and ended up just wearing scarves or hats to try to cover her head. I do remember feeling that there was very little I could say to her, as I had no idea how I would feel under those cirumstances. I hope this doesn't come across as patronising in any way. I'm just trying to say that while I can't possibly know how it feels to lose your hair, I do understand that it can be incredibly traumatic - and it's never 'just hair'.

Thank you Blondiescot. I don't think my last post was very well written! What I meant was, I wouldn't expect anyone to understand. The same as I wouldn't understand things that others have gone through if I hadn't experienced it. Most people have been lovely and empathetic which is great. As I said there are far worse things. I've just been served in a shop by a man with the most awful skin condition on his face, head and neck. If he can get on with it, so can I

My poor mum suffered from alopecia which played a large part in her being agoraphobic for more than 10 years. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like, but witnessed the affect it had on her.

Kate1949 I know 'there's always someone else worse off', but that doesn't diminish what you are going through or how you are feeling.

Thank you Blondiescot.

stella1949

I don't think I'd use ironing as an example. Surely you do whatever ironing needs to be done, whether yours or other people's.

For self care, I like giving myself a manicure and pedicure once a week, and always use pretty shades of nail polish. I take care of my skin every day. See the doctor once a month and take his good advice about any health issues. For my mind I read and do crossword puzzles, and go to see good films. Write to friends , call them, see them for coffee.

I can't think of any examples of self neglect - it's not something which happens in my life. I'm aware of how precious so I try to make the most of life.

"See the doctor, once a month"

Wherever do you live ?

I won't say I enjoy ironing. I do though find it soothing once I get started. All bedding is ironed, just hate seeing a freshly made bed with creases on the cover etc. Self care to me is treating myself to flights to see family, going to clubs,choir. I'm not a nail polish, facial type of person but understand for others great comfort is derived from such activities.

Kate1949 I thought you said in a previous thread that you had a “hair weave system”.
Apologies if it wasn’t you.

I spoke to a therapist recently who said I needed to treat myself as if I was one of my children

Self care is regular hair cuts colour
Regular Podiatry
Regular nails manicure and polish
Regular showers and dressing nice wearing perfume to feel good for yourself taking time to do something you like, visit the cinema, go for a meal with girlfriends etc
This is all Self Care sometimes looking at a pile of ironing and thinking No I'm going for some retail therapy that will still be there when I'm 6 foot under lol 😆

What is the best headdress for women with thinning hair?

I'd go for a style with some height to it, such as a well tied turban. I'd also like floaty bits at the side hangin down from the side of the turban. These take some practice in learning to tie them however I bet you can buy them already made up if you have to do so.

I think maybe a good material to use for a head tie would be fine floaty viscose as it washes and dries easily. (Silk is nice but it make creaky noises and needs ironing.)

Prentice

I quite enjoy ironing
My DD informed me many years ago that she did no ironing whatsoever and she still maintains that view. The strange thing is that you cannot tell as she always looks to be well dressed.

Me too exactly the same

I have (apparently), regularly self neglected. I have mental illness and when I am unwell, I tend to stop washing my hair or body (this can last for several months), to stop eating properly, to stop bothering to get up, opening curtains etc.

I think I could easily slip into self neglect so your post has made me sit up and take notice. Thank you.

I tell myself every day how lucky I am.
I'm so sorry for those of you with hair loss problems and know how some of my friends with cancer felt when they lost theirs. My self protection is everything to do with an arthritic spine. My daily routine revolves around it. But it could be so much worse. I'm lucky.
And I do avoid ironing as much as possible!

Self care for me is not doing any ironing whatsoever!
All bedding all goes to a laundry and comes back beautifully clean and fresh and crisp and I don't even have to wrestle it into and out of the washer-dryer.
DH irons his own shirts as and when.

I'm in the self-indulgent camp as I spend loads of time doing what I want - sewing, knitting, reading, etc and as little time as possible doing housework. If I'm working on a project I turn into an even worse slovenly slattern and neglect the housework even more.

Yes, there are dust-bunnies in the corners, and I do feel a little bit ashamed but I'm happy. I'm conscientious about food hygiene and the kitchen and bathroom are clean, and I don't believe I've poisoned anyone. As a widow I please myself.

It is so easy to neglect yourself when you are busy caring for others. It may be by not finding time for yourself to enjoy life a little, or not eating properly, or a host of other things.
I found my healthy diet went to rats and in turn that meant I was more likely to hide away as the weight went on or not dress as well as I could because why bother.
I have never been a person to pamper myself but I do think I should do a bit more to make me feel better. How do other women manage to fit it all in?

I have many priorities in my life and one of them is me! Unless I am well and happy I can’t do my best for those I love. I therefore try to keep myself as physically well as possible. My appetite is small so I try to ensure that what I do like to eat is reasonably nourishing-and there are the odd treats of chocolate! I have a check up with the practice nurse yearly as there are various illnesses in my family history which have occurred regularly and I have wanted to be investigated for them and I do my best to avoid lifestyle choices which may exacerbate the risk. I don’t want to burden my children with future problems, especially if they are avoidable! I try to keep myself happy; little things make such a difference, an interesting TV programme (rare these days!), a good book, music to dance to doing the housework, coffee with a friend, browsing the shops, planning trips etc. As I am alone it’s always advisable to have something to look forward to! These things are MY self care! Self neglect would be not taking an interest in the world around me, staying home and moping, not interacting with other people. Oh and not dressing up or putting on the slap! I do like a bit of glam!