Saying sorry

Just as an addition, if you hear say for example that your neighbour is sad about something I would automatically say: Sorry to hear that. Mmm may be worth thinking of a few other phrases to use instead. 'Oh dear! That is a shame', for example. Interesting thread.

You definitely should mean it if you say it. My husband used to struggle to say it but does occasionally say it now and sometimes it means a lot to hear it. When I was younger we had a dating in our house ‘you need to say sorry three times’ I can still hear my mum saying it and us laughing, it just brought a bit of joviality to peoples discomfort at having to say it.

‘We had a saying’ sorry for the typo in my post!

I tend to agree with your DH. It's often as meaningless as 'How are you?' (followed with chat so that there's no time to answer). I'm more impressed by behaviour than talk! I say sorry to move things along or be on the safe side - without really meaning it.

People often want a more detailed 'sorry', as in explain exactly what it is you're sorry for. Then you may discover if they really mean it. I've known some people who demand a grovelling, humiliating apology, and even that is not good enough! How horrible to be like that. When I was forgotten in the vaccination queue recently, the guy vaccinating me said sorry several times, and said, All I can do is say sorry. I was fine with that, though it wasn't actually his fault. However, it was said with such sincerity.

Little children don't understand when you say something like, Sorry you fell over and hurt yourself. Interesting and understandable, because the one saying sorry didn't do it of course.