Staying put or moving house?

Some interesting points, happy and sad. At age 73 I moved from a 4 bed house to a 2 bed bungalow 5 years ago. So glad I did as now have mobility problems.
Most of us long for our heart's desire in life but sometimes you have to be content with what you get.

i asked my friend recently, who is also in the process of moving,she said something which made sense, to me at least!
people or place, what is most important as we age?

Moving is stressful. We live with my FinL who is 92...and wants to move, sadly it isn't likely. We are in an enormous 4 bed, with a 1 bed annexe for Dad set in an acre, we will move to a bungalow but we are 56 and 66, OH is a hoarder of detritus so I truly dread the actual event.

After being 10 years in same spot we finally moved house this august! Finally i can soak in a lovely bubble bath- not much-only time for shower! (Had walk- in shower only at old house) Finally wont have a water-logged garden- Not so, new house lop-sided victorian garden.So big pool of water in centre when it rains..🙄 Finally will have a bigger bedroom for me- but at moment still full of boxes! Oh well i'm sure its worth it in the long run once the teething troubles are sorted.😊(provided rent doesnt go up!)

We did really move to be near youngest sons college- its nearer but he still wants lifts home in bad weather as no bus comes up the big hill🙄😐

Would it be possible for you to do a house swap. It was mentioned earlier in this post. Seems like an ideal solution to see if it really is as great as you hope without the upheaval and investment of a major move.
Maybe you could do it for several months each year.

How has retirement changed your life? Was it what you expected? Better? Worse?

Nothing has changed. I had no expectations.

Our answer to your dilemma would be more seaside holidays. More holidays vacations is always a good solution, in my opinion.

Maybe a caravan?

MooMOO This is such a raw time for you. Suicide is one of the most difficult, painful deaths to cope with. I know because four years ago I lost my son to suicide. Take your time in deciding if you should move house.
But if you do decide to go, a new build, proving it's a reputable builder, is a good idea. My caring thoughts are with you.

Could you afford a camper van, Aussiegran? Affordable trips to the ocean whenever you like.

We downsized two years ago and moved back to the city where two of our children live. One other is not far away.
It's really such a relief to be in a smaller place on a well-managed development. We've had our renovation work done and are looking forward to the next stage of our lives in a comfortable easily managed apartment. DH has health problems, managed by medication, but we have good local amenities, regular buses and a hospital just a short bus ride away for his check-ups.
Rural living is a lovely dream but we'd choose practicality and proximity to family every time.

We sometimes think it might be nice to move to a more picturesque place, but the reality is that we have nice neighbours where we are, good public transport, surgery, pharmacy, dentist and supermarket close by - all reachable by bus if ever we have to give up the car, several towns and cities within not too far a distance should we want to venture further for different shops and the coast is within reach within 11/2 - 2 hours depending which place we want to visit. We’ve got the house and garden more or less as we like it (there’s always little tweaks to do, aren’t there 😁), and although it has stairs, if mobility becomes an issue it would be possible to install a stair lift if it ever became necessary. Some of our family are close by, others further afield. So, thinking it through, we are probably just as well staying where we are.

MooMOO, condolences to you. I think you are sensible to wait before making any major decisions - at the moment your emotions will be so raw. 💐 Take care.

We had a lovely big family home and large garden. It just reached the stage where we were spending all our time doing maintenance and gardening. Major projects needed completion too, like a new roof.
I was brought up by the sea, so we started looking at coastal properties. In reality, the amenities were not as good and every house we viewed invariably needed repairs.
One rainy day we looked at smaller properties in a nearby town. We chose a property that afternoon and have never looked back. We are near to shops, doctors, library etc It was a wrench getting rid of possessions, but I have not missed anything at all. Being near a train station, we can visit the seaside whenever we like.
I think that you just know when something is right, just go with your gut reaction.

I would stay where you are as you know where you stand health wise which is one of the most important factors at our age. Although your husband can’t go out in a boat the sea walks are great in Sydney and if he doesn’t want to fish from the land you have the possibility of hiring a boat.

Could you afford a mobile home/trailer to use for holidaying. You would be able to visit different places near the sea, DH could do his fishing. I too constantly consider moving but house is useful when for when family visit as they don't live nearby. Also a smaller house where I would like to live is more expensive so kind of have the decision made for me.

Aldom thank you for your reply, I am sorry you lost your Son. You are right a suicide is one of the most painful deaths to deal with. I shall wait awhile to decide what to do with my home.

Lixy and Ziplok thank you for your replies of condolences it means a lot to me right now.

My husband and i are both in our seventys downsized three times now in an appartment walking distance to town centre and station and food shops nearby Aldi Waitrose Sainsburys On top floor bit of a nusence when lift breaks down but use the stairs for exercise more often than not We have lovely views and can sit on our balcony winter and summer with and without coats. In our opinion outside space how ever small is a must especaily important after COVID pandemic etc
Neighbours are a variety of ages so all good family live within 10 miles of us so can visit easily We think we have made a wise choice and hope we can stay here whilst our health is good and avoid a care home and its costs as long as we can so recomend downsizing whilst you can !!!!!!

well done on making a good move !!!

LULU16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My parents made the mistake of moving to the coast. A lovely place to holiday wasn't a good place to live, though. It was cold, bleak, windy - and largely deserted in the winter, except for the bungalow-dwelling oldies. They rarely went to the beach and the local facilities were lacking. The tiny cottage hospital didn't cater for anything serious or complicated, so many appointments were for the main one, an hour away by train or road. We had a two hour trek to see them, so didn't go very often.

If I could afford it, I would retire to the coast.

Staying put or moving house is going to be a dilemma for us. Well I say us but my husband does not recognise that it will be a problem. He is 75 I am nearly 67 and we live in the countryside where the nearest bus is 2 miles away. We are reliant on driving or using our electric bikes. My husband has health problems and has to take it fairly easy with jobs, which I should say he does love to do, but of course the list gets longer and longer. We have a largish garden and a black and White House which requires a lot of maintenance. We have a great outlook onto fields and I love watching the birds and wildlife. Our daughters family and young grandson live 95 miles away so we are not on their doorstep. I would love to be nearer them to take part in the school run etc and other day to day activities. I do go over to see them regularly with husband every other time for 2 days at a stretch. They would like us to move nearer because of the health problems, but my husband insists he will be healthier here in the countryside, and basically it will be too much trouble to move. He doesn’t want to move to countryside near our daughter either ‘as it’s not the same and it’s too flat and busy’. He says that if the worst comes to the worst and he has another health episode, or me also, then we will have to move then. But it will all be in a rush. I woukd like the chance to start a new garden, make some new friends and be near family. He says he knows that it would be the sensible thing to do but doesn’t want to take that step. So life goes on. Has anyone got any suggestions as to how he might be persuaded to change his mind?

Armle, you could start, quietly without fanfare, to prep for what may well be an inevitable move. Fill a shopping trolley with items you no longer use and quietly without fuss, take it all to a charity shop. Just tell DH that you want to make life easier, or say nothing at all

Actual moving is very hard, see the house and home section on GN but those of us who bit the bullet, have eventually found our peace, which includes shops and buses. It took me 3 years from when I started to de-clutter to when I put my house for sale, a forced start when my husband died.

We had done the original de-clutter when moving from the family home to somewhere a little smaller but too much still remained. Family home to town house to house in a village (widowed there) to here in a small market town. 2006 to 2019

I wish really that we had missed out the middle two steps but you live and learn