Are you put off from visiting?

We are going to Cambridge for Xmas and booked the Premier Inn for nights of 24,25 and 26.£120 for three nights.Think that is pretty good deal.We have found that if you look once and don’t book it then the price goes up.Barbarax

Go see them - forget the presents, explain to them why. The seeing them is more important. If they have resources, they may offer to chip in with hotel so that you can afford presents.

Future planning - chose cheapest time of year, low season like February, when hotel costs drop.

I do sympathise re actually staying with family, Ok when you have the energy, and depending on how much space there.

I have to sleep in the playroom which is how they go in and out of the house.

A v disabled grandchild and night disturbances and night time routines is what makes asking one of the grandchildren to re locate not on, so it IS making me think, maybe a hotel, as I get very tired and need down time.

We were discussing this very issue last week. It’s not often we stay in a hotel type accommodation to visit family but do sometimes when one son has his teenage daughters staying. We can, just, make it for a day but increasingly find it exhausts us and so we decided we’ll swallow the cost while we can and stay locally. Neither of our children are close by. Fuel for these trips stretches the budget, no family on the doorstep has meant a lot of travelling back and forth to see them. Again we’ll do it while health, energy and finances allow. Our lives are so much less busy than theirs, better that we travel than ask them to.

cornergran

We were discussing this very issue last week. It’s not often we stay in a hotel type accommodation to visit family but do sometimes when one son has his teenage daughters staying. We can, just, make it for a day but increasingly find it exhausts us and so we decided we’ll swallow the cost while we can and stay locally. Neither of our children are close by. Fuel for these trips stretches the budget, no family on the doorstep has meant a lot of travelling back and forth to see them. Again we’ll do it while health, energy and finances allow. Our lives are so much less busy than theirs, better that we travel than ask them to.

This has led me to look up hotels local to where my DGC live. They are currently 4,6,8,10, and time is precious, yet as I have quite bad CFS I can only take so much each day of their lovely little busynesses. Its not an expensive area and does feel as if it make make things more possible - as long as I find somewhere I can occupy a room all day and settle in a bit.

My parents sometimes came down from Scotland when we lived in London but always elected to stay in a central London Hotel.(Usually Strand Palace) I could not understand why they didnt stay with us especially as it meant Paw had to drive into town to pick them up on Christmas morning then take them back at the end of the day.
But now I have grandchildren I ABSOLUTELY understand ! An undisturbed night, no crack of dawn start to seeing the girls opening stockings,en suite bathroom, little bit of luxury - this was their treat to themselves!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only one person (I think) mentioned bathrooms which I think are increasingly important as we get older. Over the years we have had several holidays with friends but during the last few years when renting an apartment or gite we always have a bathroom for each bedroom. Too much coffee and I'm getting up several times during the night.

@farmour1:
Both of my DC live in house shares with other working graduates of similar age (early and mid 30s). Just like most graduates of their age.
One lives in a house with 6 other people, (at a cost of around £1000+ a month rent each) They have a small double room and share a kitchen and bathroom.
The other shares with four other people in a similar (but more expensive) set up.
Neither can afford their own accommodation, or to live in with just a partner.
How can we stay with them? Not enough floor space in either of their bedrooms for a sleeping bag on the floor and their housemates don't want someone else's parents sleeping in the bathroom or (tiny ) kitchen.
They live in different parts of the country to us due to their careers. Like many people on here, if we want to see them, we have to travel (about £200 each minimum, and at least a 6 hour journey) and get a "cheap"travel lodge at around £70 a night, plus meals out for all of us (no, we can't eat at the house shares, there's just no spare room in the kitchens, the housemates have to take turns to cook and eat, the kitchens are only big enough for three at a time.
Both have good jobs, but have minimum holiday and work weekends so can't really get "home" to see us easily.

If you can afford it definitely do it. Hotel is better. When younger, all squashing in together is fun. Not so when you're older. And especially if energy is limited. You need to be able to go to your hotel and rest. When my DD and GC come here , I pay for a hotel too. Like Wyllow3 I have CFS/ME.
It's money well spent. Of course those of us who can afford it are fortunate.
I hope you find somewhere suitable Mollygo and enjoy your visit.

You could try an Air n B instead. DS started this and charges £50 a night for room and facilities.

Would you go?

Yes I would. I only wouldn’t go if I genuinely didn’t have the money. This Christmas we’re going to New Zealand to see our daughter and grandchildren who are living there at present. We’re staying for two months, but not actually with them, we’ve got a couple of rentals lined up.

We go down to Cornwall, but we now stay in the city in a pub with rooms over, not only is it friendlier than the hotel we usually stayed in, it was easier for MzOops and the GCs to get to and closer to their favourite restaurants, we bear the costs because we can, at the moment.
However this year MzOops and the GCs are coming to us, we will pay for their fuel, which is a lot cheaper!
We can’t stay with them as they are squashed in a teeny tiny cottage and they have a cat, MrOops is very allergic to cats

Pressed post too soon, the other thing we did (twice) was rent a cottage by the coast and they all came to stay with us, lots of work, plus taking Christmas food and all the gifts down, then sourcing fresh food, but we all had a lovely time.
It didn’t work out to be much more expensive than a Hotel and meals out at restaurants.

Bit too late now, but train tickets booked in advance with a Senior Railcard aren't too bad. You might find an AirBnB more reasonably priced too. We have decided it is the memory banks, rather than the real ones, that are going to be our priority somehow.

Time is our most precious resource - much more so than money. Unlike money, once 'spent' time cannot be replaced - it is gone for ever. I have learned this the hard way. Life is short. You should find a way to go and visit them.

My thought process would be whilst I’m healthy enough to do it,I would do it. Since retiring and seeing people dying around me I don’t hold my self back from doing things that maybe in 6 months time I can’t do anyway. Im now a live for every moment girl.

Hillwaker what a lovely way of putting it I agree 100% 👏

It’s easier to stay in a hotel- you have freedom to get up and set off when you like and it is more relaxing. We don’t need to because ours all live within a couple of hours drive but when we went to the UK we would never stay with anyone except parents.

If I could possibly afford to go I would. We think we have all the time in the world but no-one knows what is around the corner.

My son lives 200 miles from me - we see each other all the time. Later on.. I might not be able to drive that far, so I make the journey willingly whilst I can. He also comes to me equally as often.

Only you can decide if the visits worth it to you really ..

DeeDe

Only you can decide if the visits worth it to you really ..

True, but it has been good to see that others don’t think we’re crazy!
I’m going with the “while we can, we will” school if thought.

Whilst I agree that you cannot put a price on the memories of special occasions within families I would also question why the AC cannot travel the 300 miles to see their parents before Christmas? It has already been stated that the GC have grown up somewhat so travelling with really young children cannot be an excuse.

If they lived closer, you would probably see them more regularly and possibly spend a similar amount over the same period of time, maybe?

ParlorGames

Whilst I agree that you cannot put a price on the memories of special occasions within families I would also question why the AC cannot travel the 300 miles to see their parents before Christmas? It has already been stated that the GC have grown up somewhat so travelling with really young children cannot be an excuse.

Because some of them are working or rehearsing or performing on most days other than Sunday. I’m sure you wouldn’t really suggest that they do that drive just for a 24 hour visit.
I work, but not every day, DH does childcare but not everyday so we can organise our lives more easily that’s all.