What would you say if your husband told you to stop squawking?

I agree with your first point Bluebelle but I don't think it's an acceptable expression. I'd be very hurt. You shouldn't talk to your partner like that.

It seems he reacted unreasonably aggressively to a simple disagreement.
Those saying 'No big deal' are focusing on the actual words and not on the feeling behind them.

I don't know what you can do, other than ask him not to say things like that to you.
Has the actual problem been sorted out?

Tell him to jolly well squawk off.

My only reaction would have been a fit of giggles 😂
It’s just tooo silly to get worked up about.

eazybee

Laid an egg on his head.

🤣🤣🤣
DD just asked if I'm ok or am I choking 🤣

Not acceptable, 25Avalon and he needs to be told.
We used to send a posse of Gransnetters round sometimes to sort out recalcitrant OHs - just shout if you need us!

BlueBelle

I don’t know how long your marriage has been but to be honest if that was the worst you ve had to complain about
you ve had a pretty good time
It’s just an expression I d have retaliated with something but not get that upset about it

You can take it as being "just an expression" but terminology like that - usually applied to women - is more than a simple expression of irritation. It is meant to demean - and invalidate your complaint or opinion.

... the same as "nagging" - telling you that you are nagging is a way of discrediting you.

Basically, it is meant to belittle.

I agree with BlueBelle don't let's get this out of proportion just a silly expression.

Excuse my asking, but is this a new thing?

I am assuming this man is the father of the daughter you mentioned, and in that case you have been married to him for a number of years.

Has he always been this rude?

If he has and you have either never been able to prevent it, or to make him see how infuriating you find it (quite rightly) I am much afraid you won't change him now,

If on the other hand this rudeness is a new thing, I suggest you tell him that that incident the other day made you furious and that he will kindly not speak to you like that again.

sounds a rather mild word to me, and quite comic.
but i realise things are perceived differently by different people/groups.
i was rather shocked to hear quite nice northern people casually using a word that sounds a bit like beggar in ordinary speech, not cursing or angry.
i realised that it must not connote the same there.

If my husband told me to stop squawking it would be the last thing he ever said to me 😑

Its sexist, its very offensive if you look up origins and usage

but

what matters is whether it's part of a pattern of other put downs, or rare and occasional.

and

whether if you explain to him why you object to it he hears you out, respects you, and doesn't use it again

Also most of all, the context of how you are together in general - whether you both lose your temper occasionally and fling back stuff and its long been part of your life together, or its a one way street.

I would have let him know that I don't like the phrase, and felt diminished by him using it.

Another thought - can he be losing his short term memory, and is perhaps being defensive or lashing out a bit?

Is that rude? I don't know. I'd probably laugh and tell him to be quiet.

It would not be considered acceptable in any workplace where I have ever been employed. It would be seen as bullying.

It would have been rather difficult for me to not throw whatever was closest to my hand at him.

Cheeky blighter! I would of went out for a lovely lunch on my own and left an egg sitting on a plate for his.

For once I agree with padding but then my relationship with DH is characterised by lots of laughing. Had to be we would never have survived 44 years with each other.

I quite obviously live in a different world from the rest of GN.
I have a fantastic marriage ,have spent most of every day in my husbands company ,worked together ,lived together ,laughed and cried together .
One remark ,one silly word and you;re all jumping on high horses and threatening to go on spending sprees to "punish" a man you say you love .
And we wonder where the younger generation get such strange attitudes??
Surely I cant be the only person over 60 who thinks THAT behaviour is every bit as bad as ONE word.

What a strange attitude to life /marriage where ups and downs are all part of the fun .If ONE word upsets you so much I'd recommend you seek help

I spent yesterday morning talking with a friend who lost his wife 15 years ago to cancer .He was diagnosed last year and given a year....ish to live .Yesterday he got bad news,his year is almost at an end .
Get a life Grans,its far too short to act like outraged virgins at ONE word

My Dh is ALWAYS telling me to ‘stop squawking’. I laugh - it makes me giggle and defuses my rage!

I’d have said it back to him!

paddyann54

I quite obviously live in a different world from the rest of GN.
I have a fantastic marriage ,have spent most of every day in my husbands company ,worked together ,lived together ,laughed and cried together .
One remark ,one silly word and you;re all jumping on high horses and threatening to go on spending sprees to "punish" a man you say you love .
And we wonder where the younger generation get such strange attitudes??
Surely I cant be the only person over 60 who thinks THAT behaviour is every bit as bad as ONE word.

What a strange attitude to life /marriage where ups and downs are all part of the fun .If ONE word upsets you so much I'd recommend you seek help

Exactly this. He was rude but I’m sure you have your moments too.

I have to say, I agree with paddyann's post.

It was rude and unacceptable, but I would have called him out, not rushed out to compensate, by using his credit card. That doesn't solve anything.

Tell him to stop whining.

I find it interesting how many would put up with such disrespect for the sake of peace. It does make me wonder how much abuse they are taking from their OH verbally or otherwise.