What would you say if your husband told you to stop squawking?

Esspee

I find it interesting how many would put up with such disrespect for the sake of peace. It does make me wonder how much abuse they are taking from their OH verbally or otherwise.

I imagine they’re giving it as well as taking it.

I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where being rude in this way was seen as acceptable. I can’t understand those who minimise the distress 25Avalon is feeling. Making a joke of it, using rude expressions back. Very unpleasant.

It was rude and unacceptable, but I would have called him out, not rushed out to compensate, by using his credit card. That doesn't solve anything.

It would make me feel better!

Espee believe me I dont take prisoners if its something worth arguing over.... but a word?
I genuinely cant remember the last time my OH and I disagreed ...well apart from the TV in the kitchen...which is no longer IN the kitchen because he decided sitting in a noisy steamy kitchen didn't work for him.
What kind of precious princesses get fired up about a word?
It really is a different world on here

I'm not taking any abuse from my other half in fact I think he found the Good Husband Book early on and does everything in it BUT we call each other names of course we do it gets so that we are crying with laughter at how silly the names can get. I won't share them as there seem to be many people who would be offended by us.

Actually I can and do use the credit card whenever I like - I am a person of moderation from a frugal background who does not overspend anyway. And tromping off on my own to spend wouldn’t be much fun especially as I’ve bought several bargains online during Black Friday.

No it’s the insidious put down. I don’t feel inferior in any way and do stand up for myself - until the next time. He’s being nice at the moment. It’s about control.

nadateturbe

^It was rude and unacceptable, but I would have called him out, not rushed out to compensate, by using his credit card. That doesn't solve anything.^

It would make me feel better!

It wouldn't work for me, we have joint accounts for everything.

Sadly I suspect this behaviour is not new.

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that your mother-in-law is completely responsible for her son's misogynistic behaviour, 25Avalon.

What would I say if this happened over and again?

Something like "I'm sorry that you can't change your behaviour. I don't intend spending my last years being belittled so will be talking to a solicitor about legal separation."

BigBertha1

I'm not taking any abuse from my other half in fact I think he found the Good Husband Book early on and does everything in it BUT we call each other names of course we do it gets so that we are crying with laughter at how silly the names can get. I won't share them as there seem to be many people who would be offended by us.

Hear, hear.

If you're squawking at something, you're looking at it. So what does he want you to stop looking at him? Fine, go squawk at someone you find pleasing to look at, and do it in front of him so he can't accuse you of doing it behind his back etc!

You may mean gawking, not squawking, Ali08 Squawking is the noise that anxious chickens make.

I realise we’re in the minority, but I agree with paddyann54. Surely life is too short to be so sensitive over a word.

Sensitive over a word? Thst isn’t what the OP is being

^ Surely life is too short to be so sensitive over a word.^

It all depends on the word, but squawking isn't one of mine. Impolite, I agree, but something that could be used at times of tension, when feelings are a bit on edge and snappy - and we all have those moments - . Such moments that are generally followed by apologies all round.

She is being sensitive over the attitude, and has asked him before not to use that expression - she was more or less told to stop complaining over him claiming that SHE was the one who raised the query that her daughter had rung him to answer. Was she supposed to agree, when HE was the one who had raised it? Read the original post to see more - it seems he does this sort of thing often.

As she said in a later post "No it’s the insidious put down. I don’t feel inferior in any way and do stand up for myself - until the next time. He’s being nice at the moment. It’s about control.

Jeez, I dread to think what some of you on here would think about our relationship if you get upset over a bit of 'squawking'!

paddyann54

Espee believe me I dont take prisoners if its something worth arguing over.... but a word?
I genuinely cant remember the last time my OH and I disagreed ...well apart from the TV in the kitchen...which is no longer IN the kitchen because he decided sitting in a noisy steamy kitchen didn't work for him.
What kind of precious princesses get fired up about a word?
It really is a different world on here

paddyann
We can disagree about anything 😁 and frequently do but I wouldn't change him.

" He’s being nice at the moment. It’s about control."

Spoken by women over decades to describe why soaking up the abuse (whatever sort) REALLY doesn't matter.

Quick test : If he told one of his male friends over and again to "stop squawking" what do you think his friend would say/do in response?

Tell him to get a job involving sex & travel? Deck him? Walk away? Tell everyone that old whats-it had lost it?

I am just as likely as DH to use an anodyne irritant word like 'squawking'. Nothing to do with control, all to do with what words all of us use when irritated.

There are far worse words, like 'c*nt. wh*re, and the full gamut of really vile and obscene words contained within the English language, 'squawking' isn't even an expletive!

I refuse to believe that everyone obecting to this word live in perfect relationships, where never a bad word is used, no one ever disagrees. All of us get irritated at times and use perfectly clean normal words but with an inflection or tone that makes them mildly pejorative.

I would include 'squawking' among these normal words that can be mildly perjorative in the wrong context. Parrots squawk, so, do other birds. All kinds of sounds can be described as squawking.

Lats face it, said with the right tone of voice the word 'darling', 'love', or 'sweetheart' can be an insult.

Perhaps you were!

My late DH might not have used the word, but if he had, it could well have been due to my own tone of voice.
Listen to other women/people getting stressed - can you say hand on heart you didn’t “squawk” ?

What would I say? I wouldn't have a husband that dared to tell me to 'stop squawking' so I can't answer that!

I do not think that the use of this word has anything to do with how the person spoken to had themselves been talking.

It cold simply be that Person A was trying to talk to Person B while they were making an important phone call and Person B was getting exasperated as they couldn't concentrate on the phone call, they might well in exasperation say to Person A, 'for heaven's sake go away and stop squawking while I am speaking to the doctor/solicitor/garage' whether person A had a deep bass baritone voice or high soprano.

well, i'm surprised.
to me it's a rather comic turn of phrase, nothing that would make me feel insulted or disrespected.
i would not use it in the workplace, as it is too informal, affectionate i'd say, akin to calling someone a silly sausage.

welbeck hear, hear.

M0nica

welbeck hear, hear.

Hear, hear and hear, hear again!