The bah humbug thread...

Goodness me I am so sorry for all of you who have lost a loved one especially children.Aftermy brother died my father went pretty much to pieces he couldn’t deal with the fact that his son died before him…💐💐💐

MissAdventure

This thread makes us Humbuggers then.

I want to come and give you a big hug, MissA

But don't expect me to put up a tree etc, my knees are knackered.

How about a M&S ready meal?

Sushi supplied by M&S 😉

MissAdventure. Sending you much love and strength to help you through such a difficult time. 💐

Whilst going through the menopause/mentalpause years ago now, one particular Christmas, I just CBA cooking anything and served up a selection of sushi to our guests! No one said a word! I think they enjoyed it. 🤷‍♀️

Yes they are very upbeat my friend is now wearing a wig but looks so well She’s about 10 years younger than me too I just hope they both keep going strong

I like the cat version Maw “Put the venison casserole in the boot of the cat” that tickled me

Thank you for your good wishes. DH is determinedly making great strides helped by his wicked sense of humour.
That is encouraging news BlueBell, thank you. It’s so good to hear of someone in the same boat still going strong years later. Your poor friends have really been through the mill.

“Car” obviously - not cat!

GrannySomerset

Spot on, Maw. I am ambivalent about this first Christmas since DH’s death and didn’t want a pale imitation of previous years - in 60 years together we had many brilliant celebrations and I am grateful for that. This year I have told the “children” to do their own thing and I am cooking lunch for a friend whose wife died not long after DH. We don’t have to pretend to protect other people’s feelings but can manage the day to suit ourselves. I will see both families either side of the festival itself and that will be fine.

That’s very generous of you - being kind to someone else who has gone through what you are experiencing will help you both.

I do think Christmas is what we make it.
One of my happiest was when Paw was in the Royal Free after botched bowel surgery and a Lymphoma diagnosis. We’d heard he was suitable for monoclonal antibody treatment and the outlook was good. Cancelling any plans at home I put a venison casserole in the boot of the cat and drove down to London on Christmas Eve, I camped out at D3’s flat in Hackney and we took smoked salmon sandwiches over to the hospital to eat with him on Christmas Day, going back to the flat for the casserole in the evening. Oddly enough it was a happy Christmas and we were counting our blessings.

That's how I am about dinner, too.

I have a chicken breast, cover it in butter, and put sage and onion on it.

DH was always very Bah Humbug and the rest of us had to be as festive as we could in spite of him. Now he's gone we can be as festive as we like but I seem to be cutting back anyway. I try to stick to cooking stuff that everyone will actually eat - chicken drumsticks for the GS who only eats crunchy stuff and a turkey joint for the rest of us. No searching for fridge space for the turkey carcase, and if things can come out of packets it's even better.

Lovely words Maw

Spot on, Maw. I am ambivalent about this first Christmas since DH’s death and didn’t want a pale imitation of previous years - in 60 years together we had many brilliant celebrations and I am grateful for that. This year I have told the “children” to do their own thing and I am cooking lunch for a friend whose wife died not long after DH. We don’t have to pretend to protect other people’s feelings but can manage the day to suit ourselves. I will see both families either side of the festival itself and that will be fine.

I don't think I've ever felt the loss of my girl as much as I am this year.

It's relentless, it seems.

Christmas must be a hard time when someone special is no longer here or is suffering. I am truly sorry for those of you who are unhappy this year.

We are religious so Christmas has an extra dimension for us. DH is a cathedral chorister and has several concerts lined up. I say a private prayer sometimes during a favourite carol. Music always makes me feel good at Christmas, even in shops and in the streets.

As for excess at Christmas, I do tend to go all out with delicacies and luxuries in the food and drink department. There is no question of putting the cost on a credit card though.

That’s a good sentiment, 1Summer. My 5yo GD talks about her great grandma even though she died four years before GD was even born, simply from hearing the stories about her and seeing pictures. ❤️

I hope your Dh makes good progress, Kalu.

For all those with an empty space at the dinner table or around the tree

I'm with you, I'm so over Christmas. I go through the motions for the family . Once grandchildren have grown and my daughter moves out ( she's 30 this year ) hubbie and I will be cruising over Christmas

Glad to hear you husband is recovering, kalu x

It's the nicest gift you could give her.

Thank you to all those who have messaged me and are thinking of me - it means a lot. I also send my thoughts and best wishes to those who have suffered a great loss recently and not so recently. Christmas and all anniversaries are so hard for all of us.
I am trying so hard not to be a Bah Humbug but I easily could be. I told my husband I couldn’t and didn’t want to go on without him but he said I must for our granddaughter who he said never let her forget me. So this is what I will do, my happy face is for her.

Great post, Baggs - thank you! All those expectations… hmm… Love the shrug at the end:-)

Hugs and best wishes to those who have suffered huge losses recently - so painful for you.xxx

Baggs, Hellogirl, Gymstagran 1Summer and anyone I’ve missed, you’re in my thoughts. . Maw too - I can’t believe it’s been five years, I remember reading your sad news at the time.

As a family we are also facing difficult challenges at the moment and I understand how that can make Christmas seem ‘bah humbug’ for some folk. I’ve always loved Christmas myself so I am trying to carry on as usual but also secretly enjoying that my family has now taken on more of the mantle of hosting and I can chill out.

I think it’s just me but all the excess on tv etc that people speak of seems to go over my head, I don’t really notice it. This year I’ve noticed that there seems to be a lovely atmosphere amongst groups with people being so grateful that after the last two winters, we can once again meet up and enjoy each other’s company.

My favourite bit of Christmas has always been Christmas Eve, when everyone is in bed, it’s quiet, the tree lights are on and carols playing softly. I’m not a believer but I like to sit and contemplate the Christmas story because to me, the arrival of any new baby, whoever they are, is magical. ❤️

kalu my friends husband had his voice box removed many years back and is still going strong my friend is surviving a second bout of breast cancer they’re both very optimistic and upbeat
Good luck to your husband

Hope you have a great Christmas, kalu

I'm glad to hear your husband is gradually recovering.

All the more reason why it's a special time for you.