Is it friendlier Up North?

Im so sorry Esmay, that sounds awful! What a sad little man to bully a poor widow like that.

I agree with you Sue. It's true that many people in existing friendship groups do not want to include those who they see as outsiders. My main friends are those who also moved into the area, some from other countries, just because the established ones are in cliques.

He is a sad little man .

I think that he's paranoid over security and suspicious of his neighbours .

As he ages , he is becoming more angry and obsessive .

I smile and wave ( we all do ) , but he usually blanks me .

Years ago , we found him prickly over various things :

My son is the same age as one of his and he demonstrated sour grapes over my son going to university as his didn't .

His son is gifted in a completely different way from mine .

He was a nice boy , who has grown into a nice man .

Recently , this neighbour has watched my DIY guy from behind a curtain - making him feel uncomfortable at times !

Occasionally , he comes out with a clipboard and makes notes and spends ages looking at our houses .
When I think about it -
I don't think that he goes out very much and neither does he go on holidays .

So sorry Esmay!

Your neighbour sounds like an extremely unhappy man! My husband would call it "Napoleon Syndrome", but I wonder if he has a wife or any love in his life? He sounds bitter , hateful and obsessive! I wonder if his son still visits?

Do you think he might be trying to intimidate you? OR perhaps he's unaware of his behaviour being odd? It might be good to document it, in case with getting older he becomes worse.

PS Esmay, you don't happen to live in a Conservation Area, do you? Only there are people who do, who act like this all the time. The ones I know of even complain if the TV ariel is at the wrong angle or if the front door is painted the wrong shade of white! They always snoop on their neighbours and report back to the conservation group. I'd hate to be their neighbour but gladly, I don't live in a conservation area.

We don't live in a conservation area .
It's just a boring suburb with rows upon rows of mock Tudor houses punctuated with some pleasant parks and common .

He is a particular type
At times , this neighbour 's petty mindedness reminds me of Martin Bryce in Ever Decreasing Circles , but his negative feelings towards me really began when I asked him why he was washing his car when there was a hosepipe ban .

He threw his hose down , shouted at me about looking after his car properly and went indoors slamming the front door after him .

His wife came out retrieved the hose and no more car washing occurred .

Martin Bryce would never have washed his car during a hose pipe ban .

His wife is pleasant enough , but rather cold .

It amuses me that I've lived next door to a man with a similar personality .

He used to spy on me all the time , make notes on a clipboard , phone the council about trees and boundaries and also ask inappropriate questions .

I am good friends with his wife and daughters , who are embarrassed by him .

Sadly , he has now developed dementia .

I do think that my father's neighbour has mental health issues .

Ahhh thats so annoying Esmay. Sorry to hear that. You didnt do anything wrong in asking him why he was washing his car during a hosepipe ban, but maybe after his wife explained it to him, he feels stupid ?

Its possible that he had dementia as well as MH problems for quite a long time before it was diagnosed. Saying inappropriate things can be an early sign of dementia. Maybe he was paranoid as he knew something wasnt right inside? Poor wife and kids, not their fault at all. Good you're friends with them. Who knows what his wife might be keeping to herself. Coldness could be her way of self control -holding it all in? I've heard people say they dont want anyone to speak to them in case they cry.

I'm glad I don't live in the conservation area I mentioned. I literally cannot think of anything worse than having interfering, busybody neighbors tutting if I didn't use the correct shade of paint or have my tv ariel perfectly aligned with theirs. These people even have a social media group where they discuss such "issues". It might even be the end if you had a porch constructed, seeing as it wouldn't be in keeping with the original design sigh.

I know professional people who were not accepted there, it's extremely snobby and controlling. I would not want to live there even if I was paid to.