Is it friendlier Up North?

North Lancashire here, not far from Pendle Hill I think we are all pretty much a friendly bunch here but then we are, all Witches! you know) lol so beware, we may cast a spell.

missed apostrophe soz.

hilz

I think no matter where you are in this world that if you present a nice smile and say a cheery hello most respond in a similar way. Maybe a bit different in larger towns or cities to villages but its about reading the situation surely. How you present yourself oh and a smile. Never fo rget the smile.

They do, politely- but unless you are a local you will never get anything more, in some places. They are simply being polite and do not want to know you. I have lived in my present village over 20 years and nothing has changed. I am an outsider with acquaintances and that is all I'll ever be, here.

I have loved in villages too.and wouldn't want to live in another one
The places I have loved in in Yorkshire are all different as well I live in North Yorkshire now.but not as friendly as some other places in Yorkshire
The village I loved in was one where if you weren't a member of the.local village women's clubs you were always considered an outsider

I have to defend the Londoners. I regularly travel across London with a suitcase, and often alone. I have never yet had to carry my suitcase up or downstairs on the underground, but in Paris (where I often travel, as my daughter lives in Versailles), nobody has ever offered to help with my suitcase. There is no language barrier, as I am bilingual! But a lot depends on your own demeanour. Last week I was travelling between Paris and Versailles with my husband, who has Parkinson's disease. I got talking to a guy sitting opposite us, who was of Afro-Caribbean origin. He was so lovely. He told me about his recent trip to London, to visit a friend who plays for Spurs, and also told me about a relative who is in the Senegal team and played at the recent World Cup match in Qatar. When we reached our stop, he left his seat and walked down the train, carrying all our luggage onto the platform for us, although it wasn't even his stop! On the way, he noticed a forgotten laptop in a case, and returned it to it's owner. A true Good Samaritan! I honestly believe that there is good in most people, and you only discover it by being friendly and making the first move. I have grown up in the south of England but my mum was from Manchester and taught me to be friendly. So I often talk to "strangers" and usually find them friendly too. We have recently moved and I am already on friendly terms with some of the neighbours, generally those with whom I have made an effort. They will all get Christmas cards. It just takes someone to make the first move!

Bikergran our DD house looks onto Pendle hill I agree you are friendly folk there.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

The thing I have noticed is, while people may be surface friendly, they do not want to be friends. With some people this is because they think of you as an outsider, who they will be polite to only. To others this is because they want "no new friends". They have their social circle (and some cliques) and don't want to expand it.

I suppose after a certain age people have their friendship groups already formed, so if you move to a new area you can be a bit doomed, to be forever the aquaintance and outsider.

AussieGran59

I can honestly say that in every single visit to the UK I have always encountered helpful, friendly locals. We have driven all over the UK and love the people and scenery. The pub food is good too! I miss it all.

We always love to chat to Aussies!

OnwardandUpward

The thing I have noticed is, while people may be surface friendly, they do not want to be friends. With some people this is because they think of you as an outsider, who they will be polite to only. To others this is because they want "no new friends". They have their social circle (and some cliques) and don't want to expand it.

I suppose after a certain age people have their friendship groups already formed, so if you move to a new area you can be a bit doomed, to be forever the aquaintance and outsider.

Yes, I found this when I moved up north. One girl I worked with was very friendly at work and even took me around to look at a few possible areas to look at houses one weekend. But she wasn't interested in real friendship. Had a full life already. Didn't need or want more friends.

Its a shame isn't it Gagajo.

It must be nice to be that person. Being new to an area is hard, or if you lost a friend (I lost a few through covid) . I have given up trying to make friends. I just talk to dog walkers when walking my dog and have aquaintances. It works. I dont know what anyone does if they don't have a dog to walk, though.

Redhead56 ohh I bet she has some gorgeous views at the moment.

I love the friendliness of Yorkshire people .
Mancunians are nice too .
I've also found people from Liverpool unbelievably open and friendly .

We , Southerners do have a reputation for being cold and distant .
I find most of my neighbours extremely self obsessed , jealous competitive and snobbish .
I think that it's a shame .

I like traditional Londoners , who are extremely funny and chatty .
I met one of my London friends on Saturday and I nearly peed myself laughing .

You're right there Esmay. I don't know why people have to be like that. Sad!

Glad you have such a funny friend, that must be really nice. I had a good laugh at work today, that keeps me sane as well as dog walking.

That's just your perception of people Esmay. I'm sure they're not snobbish, jealous, self obsessed and competitive. They're just living their lives and pursuing their interests. If I meet people who don't seem friendly I think about how I'm behaving or how others might see me. That helps. As I said right at the start of this thread friendly people tend to meet friendly people irrespective of where they are in the country.

Sadly , it is my perception of my father's unpleasant unfriendly neighbours .

He moved here about 35 years ago and had some unpleasant experiences and thought of moving ,but couldn't face it .

I moved in about seven years ago and made an effort to be friendly .

They complain about the bins with his triple wrapped nappies in them ,
openly laugh when they see me struggling with shopping , make comments if I employ people ( it's alright for some ) and finally have said each time I see them face to face that it's taken far too long for my father to die .

Ooh that's very specifically nasty Esmay. Your poor Dad. Surely that just one very unpleasant family (to put it mildly!!) Probably other neighbours avoid them too. Neighbours from hell could be a new thread?!

I have lived in East, South and North Yorkshire, Newcastle upon Tyne, Rossendale, Ribble Valley, Southampton, South Oxfordshire and Shropshire.
We have made good friends wherever we have lived and found people to be friendly.
Rossendale back in 1983 was the hardest as at that time it was quite insular.

Aveline

That's just your perception of people Esmay. I'm sure they're not snobbish, jealous, self obsessed and competitive. They're just living their lives and pursuing their interests. If I meet people who don't seem friendly I think about how I'm behaving or how others might see me. That helps. As I said right at the start of this thread friendly people tend to meet friendly people irrespective of where they are in the country.

You don't know that Aveline. As we are all anon and don't see each other's Real Lives, we cannot possibly judge another's experience.

I have always said, a person with an experience is not at the mercy of a person with a theory. Another saying I have is that "when someone shows you who they are, believe them". I have often not believed someone is what they are showing me, to my own detriment, because I have thought everyone is nice like me!

I am truly sorry for your experience, Esmay. Those neighbours sound so judgemental and nasty! I wonder how they would ever cope if they were in your shoes! Another saying I have applies to them (" if you haven't got anything nice to say, keep quiet!")

Geordie lass here, living in S/E. Moved to this particular area 33 years ago. We followed friends up from Pompey (very friendly area). We were here a year before an actual neighbour wished us good morning, and I literally looked for hole in the ground 🤣.
Nowadays, I think they've caught up with the times - or maybe our Geordie influence has rubbed off on them - as I find them much more friendly now!!
Honestly, I think if you go around looking grumpy people will shy away from you. Smile and say hi, chat about the weather or whatnot, and people chat with you!

Ahh never lived in Pompey, but yes, super friendly area!

Haaa though. Be aware that in certain areas in the South, your goodwill, cheerful and friendly nature will be viewed with suspicion, sadly. I speak from experience, having been raised to smile and say hello to everyone.

Add to that, I have (in the past) routinely been blanked by local people who I have said hello to in the street, to the point that I now return the favour to those who are miserable *holes- and only now put my energy where it is deserved and reciprocated.

One of my neighbours is very nice and a close friend .
She also has felt spied on and judged at times .
She's just had curtains put up and no longer enjoys her outlook on the street .

Our mutual friend , who is rather introverted lives next to the nastiest of neighbours and since she was tragically widowed at a young age - he's made her life hell at every opportunity - constantly complaining every about everything being petty and spiteful .

I'm thrilled that she has a serious boyfriend and I hope that he moves in
!

This neighbour has also installed video cameras and is recording his surroundings .

Looking back , there was always something unpleasant about him and I'm wondering about his mental health .

Creepy!

I don’t agree that it’s all down to you, as a person, as to whether somewhere is friendly or not. We’ve moved a lot, I think we’re now on our tenth new area and some places are definitely friendlier than others.

One area of Scotland we moved to, if a mum at playgroup hadn’t taken pity on me and outright asked me if I’d met anyone, I think I’d have spent our ten-plus years there never knowing a soul. As she said, local folk were very much by ‘appointment-only’ and they just didn’t mix with anyone new. Yet the previous and following areas of Scotland we lived in. were really friendly and I’m still in touch with people from nearly 40 years ago.