Giving presents for Christmas, birthdays, etc.

Ailidh wow LED gloves! Never knew there was such a thing! Great idea though. I thought I did well buying DH and me a LED beanie hat each 😂. Where we live there are no street lights and I was forever tripping over the pavement (even with a torch!). I must look those LED gloves up - whatever will they think of next! 👏

I now don’t buy presents for any of my family (including Dh!) Cash in hand is the easy option all round. Gc have a small extra to open if they come over Christmas eg small car, socks, nail polish. Takes all pressure off.

Once they get older, their idea of a good gift isn’t going to be the same as yours. I ask my daughter before buying anything for my grandson and he is only a toddler. That way, we don’t make expensive mistakes. It’s a learning curve.

My grandchildren twins (12) 11 years and 6 all wrote lists and sent them tome via WhatsApp. Then I buy off the list and tell parents . It’s interesting what to see they want - sports gear , a whiteboard , Lego and clothes are the main requirements this year . I also give them some money as I know they like choosing themselves . Just a secret Santa for the adults this year . Donations of Christmas foodie treats have been requested by our local food bank to add a bit of cheer which I think is a nice idea.

Personally I like to make presents for the children in the family into a shopping treat day. They all (at the moment) like the outing with my undivided attention and it’s a treat for me too.

I appreciate not everyone has the money to have a meal out and a present. In which case I’d either ask what they wanted or give money.

I can understand mum Agent007, tho goodness knows she could have put it more kindly and clearly to you!

My grandchildren DO have so much "Stuff" and their likes and dislikes change so quickly.

I asked the 10 yr old if he wanted a pressie or money in his little account, and he asked for money.

I ask Mum precisely what the younger ones want, she usually send me a specific item I can get online which is very thoughtful and at a price I can afford. I just made one guess, a princess dress dropped off the shelf at Sainsburys and sent a pic to mum, had the receipt in case it wasn't suitable..

There really is no point in getting presents they don't exactly want although I sense your pleasure in what you chose and your disappointment.

Most of us had so much less when we were kids anyway, didn't we? It wasn't so hard to get us something we would like.

Nevertheless, even at age 8 I recall very clearly the pleasure the postal order that one aunt sent us with an individual card each year. Gosh, the chance to choose something myself! And I'm sure my mum secretly prepped Nana what to get us.

We always had lists to pick from when our grandchildren were young, but from mid teens they had money to make their own selection. However, I must admit there is nothing like seeing the delighted face of a child opening a present.

My two kid brothers (both over 60) and I exchange gifts. I have no other family and, although I don't need presents to know they care about me, it's kind of nice.

One brother is widowed, and his adult, unmarried son lives with him. I buy them something each.

The other brother lives with his partner. I buy them something each.
All of their children are adult, and earning far more than my pension, so I stopped buying them things when they reached 18. Some of them have infant children but again, the amount to money I could afford to stick in an envelope for them is less than their dads would tip the paper boy, so this year it's just going to be cards. The money will go to the Foodbank.

One brother always sends me something random but thoughtful.
The other usually asks for a list to choose from, so it's something he knows I'd like but with an element of surprise . There's only one thing on the list this year - LED gloves, supposed to be for night fishing but in my case for picking up dog poop after dark.....😁

In my family all adults and grandchildren over the age of 21 will not be getting presents from us this year. We decided to donate the money we would have spent to Crisis at Christmas so homeless people will have a hot meal and company on Christmas Day.
We’ve asked them not to buy for us but to pop something in the Foodbank trolley at the supermarket. All seem happy with this arrangement. The younger ones will receive money so they can buy what they want.
It does feel strange not having presents to wrap and put under the tree though. 😕

Your idea of a nice present and theirs will be different. Give them money.

Our grandchildren make lists of what they’d like, from a couple of pounds to silly money, we choose and let their Mum know what we’ve bought.

Oh, it’s difficult isn’t it?

You want to give them a gift that you hope they will like and enjoy. Sadly, perhaps your idea and their idea don’t coincide. Consequently, the gift doesn’t get used or played with, just sits about and then recycled to a charity shop or similar.

Best to ;

Give them money to buy what they want.
Go shopping with them, let them choose.
Give their mum the money to get a suitable gift for you to wrap and give.

Otherwise you are maybe just wasting your time and money.