Examples of racism,classism etc.

I and some of my friends have been talked down to in certain shops, also by my dentist, who prefers young patients. They have the problem. I take my money elsewhere.
Your dil should have said I prefer someone who is actually interested in serving me to get me a clean box. We can’t always think of a quick answer, we are taken back as the majority of people are nice people.

That's horrifically ageist of your dentist Allsorts. I also saw a classic example of ugly ageism earlier today. Said on a forum, that's aimed specifically at older people, but popuated predominately by older women: a sad lot of old biddies you are.

My husband always wore a suit to work, in banking, years ago.

I noticed that if we went to parents' evening at our children's high school we were spoken to much more seriously, respectfully even, if he went in his business suit than if he got changed into his casual clothes before we went 🤨

Classism - if I suspect I'm going to be judged, I change my accent and use of language (code switching). It makes a huge difference to how I'm treated at times.

Racism- my DD was stopped in a local shop, when she was trying and failing to use a self-scan machine. She was in the process of trying to wave to the assistant and ask for help and instead was accused of trying to steal. Messages on their social media and an email of complaint resulted in an apology.

Ageism - I suspect a lot of us have been victims of this. Being treated as if we're invisible.

Discrimination due to nationality - I've both benefitted and being discriminated against because of my overt Britishness. In Asia, it has benefitted me. In Spain, it was at times a negative thing, categorising me as an unwelcome immigrant.

People make snap judgements of others all the time, it’s what humans do.
Up to you if you accept it or not.

Oreo

People make snap judgements of others all the time, it’s what humans do.
Up to you if you accept it or not.

If it means that someone is discriminated against, it's wrong.

So what do you do?
No good whining that it’s wrong, what does that get you?
Either speak up at the time or don’t if you like a quiet life.
If someone is rude in a shop, say so and walk out, and so on.

Oreo

So what do you do?
No good whining that it’s wrong, what does that get you?
Either speak up at the time or don’t if you like a quiet life.
If someone is rude in a shop, say so and walk out, and so on.

If it was really that easy to handle, discrimination wouldn't be possible.

In the scenario set by the OP it was as easy as that to do.
A shop assistant shoving a grubby box at her could have been handled by her saying she wasn’t buying the item and to get a clean one pronto otherwise she would speak to the manager.
Or walking out and reporting the matter to the store.
Or buying a gift elsewhere.
If you act like a victim you get treated like one.

So we blame the victims of discrimination for not handling it rather than the perpetrators for being terrible humans?

Terrible humans? For being an idle shop assistant? May have been racist maybe not.May have been anything.I’ve come across plenty of people like that in shops.
Assess the situation and act accordingly is a good motto.

That's not what the thread is about

I read the OP thanks VioletSky
It’s surmise and speculation.
A shop assistant may treat you better if you are white as long as she is white as well, or may treat you better if you look well dressed or maynot if she’s a lazy cow and needs training or sacking.
It’s guesswork otherwise.

VioletSky

So we blame the victims of discrimination for not handling it rather than the perpetrators for being terrible humans?

Exactly. Victim blaming. Not appropriate.

I think it’s important to recognise that there is a range of discriminatory behaviour, and sometimes, given enough confidence, one can challenge it.

Far more often though, there is a power imbalance of some kind, such that the potential repercussions, or ingrained social mores, make any kind of challenge incredibly difficult.

Oreo

I read the OP thanks VioletSky
It’s surmise and speculation.
A shop assistant may treat you better if you are white as long as she is white as well, or may treat you better if you look well dressed or maynot if she’s a lazy cow and needs training or sacking.
It’s guesswork otherwise.

Since this thread is about -isms...

Men can be shop assistants too. Whether they can be "lazy cows" remains to be seen.

I’m guilty of discrimination, too. If I see a male on a check-out next to a check-out with a female I choose the female every time because I find they are much quicker and more accurate. At least round here. I’m not sure why, quite strange.

Last night we got into a cab only to be told off by the cab driver who was early and we took a couple of minutes to say our goodbyes and get in the cab, he was very rude, he was black, we are white.

Earlier in the day, a black lady in a shop asked me what I thought of the boots she had tried on, she told us she was a cleaner and thought the boots would be good for her early morning starts in the ice, we had a lovely chat, she wanted to know where we lived and why we were in London.
If she lived near me I could imagine us becoming friends she was a hoot!

On a visit to the Sky garden in the morning the white male porters ushering people into the lifts were incredibly rude and very impatient.

In the restaurant we ate lunched the staff were all super friendly and kind to us.

I don’t think it’s race, class, north or south.
It’s just good/bad manners, we need to stop feeling offended all the time and realise this is just life.

I once saw a very grand old lady cut an entitled young man down to size when he tried to push in while the assistant was attending to her. She had a wonderful cut glass accent and a walking stick which she banged on the ground to emphasize every word. He walked out of the shop. I did the same to a man who tried to push in front of me in a computer shop.

I dont go out much now so this kind of thing seldom happens but I would not hesitate to confront someone whom I considered to be disrespecting me.

My nephew says I have a tongue like a lash.

Sago

Last night we got into a cab only to be told off by the cab driver who was early and we took a couple of minutes to say our goodbyes and get in the cab, he was very rude, he was black, we are white.

Earlier in the day, a black lady in a shop asked me what I thought of the boots she had tried on, she told us she was a cleaner and thought the boots would be good for her early morning starts in the ice, we had a lovely chat, she wanted to know where we lived and why we were in London.
If she lived near me I could imagine us becoming friends she was a hoot!

On a visit to the Sky garden in the morning the white male porters ushering people into the lifts were incredibly rude and very impatient.

In the restaurant we ate lunched the staff were all super friendly and kind to us.

I don’t think it’s race, class, north or south.
It’s just good/bad manners, we need to stop feeling offended all the time and realise this is just life.

It isn't just life when you're 15 and getting arrested for not having an oyster card because you're Black.

Or being accused of shop lifting when you haven't, just because you're Black.

I would like to balance the racism thread a little. I think that many young people are delightfully " colour blind". One of my daughters has a close group of friends from schooldays. I know these girls well and have met their boyfriends/ husbands in group events over the years ( sometimes not too clear which chap belonged with which girl at the party TBH!)
I know the names of each partner, their occupation, the homes they have bought together ...etc
In due course, I enjoyed the wedding photography. At one wedding,I knew the lad's name, job and much more because DD had told me all about him. She had not mentioned that he was black and was surprised when I said that I hadn't known this. It didn't seem relevant to her. The future is, hopefully, like this.

I don't agree young people are "colour blind"

What is actually happening is that young people do not discriminate.

That's not the same thing at all. Young people are generally very aware that their peers may face discrimination in many areas of life. They also are more likely to celebrate differences and be accepting of other religions and cultures.

That's not blind, it is open eyed and open minded

I’m discriminated against frequently because of disability.

Blossoming

I’m discriminated against frequently because of disability.

Yes, that is another key area. Some of the treatment of differently abled people is terrible. Even smaller things, such as parking or blocking disabled access.