Why are neighbours not friendly

I wonder if they might come if you hold a coffee morning for charity?
If they all work maybe Saturday is best.
You could leaflet their letterboxes with invitations . Just offer tea/coffee and biscuits, nothing fancy. Hopefully some will turn up so you can get to know them better. Good luck.

Some people are more reserved than others. Perhaps they're busy and have many plans? When I was working, I didn't have much spare time at the weekend. Perhaps they don't want to socialise with neighbours. I am on fairly friendly terms with many of my neighbours but I wouldn't necessarily want to hold a BBQ with them. I think if you are lonely then reaching out to neighbours and maybe being rejected wouldn't help. Did you and the in other neighbour go ahead with the bbq? Maybe if you had, others would have joined in.

why do your neighbours need to be friendly? some people just like to keep to themselves, i live in a small block of flats with 52 houses, i have lived here for 20 years, i only have 2 people that i am good friends with, the rest it is just a hello, some not even that, things have changed from when i was a little girl back in the 70s when my mum would send me to a neighbour for a cup of sugar or a few tea-bags. i don't know what age you are but have a look around at clubs or hobbies in your area or even volunteer work..maybe a charity shop. i am lucky that i like being alone, much prefer it but my mum is the opposite and she is struggling since she lost her husband 2 years ago, she has been googling her city and looking for volunteer work or day clubs that she can go to or even help out at, one that has interested her is her local food bank. i hope you feel better soon and find something to make you feel less lonely.

Not everyone likes to socialise with neighbours. In my small road, we say hello, take in parcels for each other and that’s about it. It suits me.

I lived in a place where neighbours were always in and out of each other’s houses, they knew you were in so there was no hiding if you did not want to socialise, one of the reasons I moved.

Some people are basically territorial and want to keep things private. I associate with neighbours each side and two other neighbours across the road but have no desire to extend any further.
Myself and another neighbour did try to organise a street party last year for the Jubilee but it was like pulling teeth and I have lost count of the times some have walked past with their dogs when we've been in the front gardening and they've ignored our cheery "good morning/good afternoon" ! I simply don't bother now.

I’m only friendly with 2 neighbours, I don’t have the time, energy or inclination to get involved with any more.

I've always had great neighbours. Never in each other's pockets, respecting distance, but also very friendly and ready to help, both ways of course.

DD1 has moved recently to a very posh road in a very leafy suburb, and she says neighbours are really not open, nor friendly. Both ACs helped elderly neighbours throughout Covid, and even got commendations from their MPs for that. Both ladies said they had never had friendly neighbours, and never had any offers of help. Sad.

Do you have any activities in church or community halls near you? Sometimes it is nice to mix with people from the same locality but not necessarily neighbours.

After living down south where we didn’t really know our neighbours we moved back up north. We now live in a lovely happy street. We had a great street party for the Jubilee celebrations. I wouldn’t hesitate in asking any of them for help. Lovely feeling.

my neighbours are lovely, we take things in for each other and have a chat as we get in our cars. We are not best mates as we are all busy, but we are nice, polite and kind to each other. It's great.

I am friendly with my neighbours and will help anyone out, say hello etc but that is as far as it goes, it is always good to keep a distance with neighbours. My sister once had an over friendly neighbour, she would call in without an invite and my sister ended up keeping her door locked. That can happen all too easily

People do not always respect other peoples privacy nor that certain people like being on their own and are not lonely

It was hard at first but I started by always keeping people at the door and it has paid off, a friendly chat on passing down the close is enough

vincennes1
I would start with the other neighbour who would have gone ahead with the bbq, ask her to come to you for a coffee?
Then ask another neighbour, on another day and so on.
That’s what I did and now I know all my neighbours and we’re all on good terms.

karmalady 'it is always good to keep a distance with neighbours. '

we are all different, and each to their own. Personally I don't agree with the above. When I was a very young mum without any family nearby, my neighbours took me under their wing and they were wonderful. Very long friendship developed, although we are like chalk and cheese. Later, when she became old and slowly declined, I was there for her, right to the end.

My young neighbour now is a young widow, lost her husband in a motorcycle accident. She supported me when I had 2 painful operations, and when OH was very ill. We are not supporting her.

As your name says 'karma' what does round, comes around.

I grew up in a community where neighbours lived in one anothers pockets and more or less knew what colour knickers you wore. I hated it.

While I have had phases when I was friendly with neighbours and socialised with them (in my 2Os) I have grown more private and insular as I grew older and developed pastimes which required quiet and study.

My last two neighbours before moving here were awful. I lived at the top of a tower block and my opposite neighbour had mental health issues and should never have been released into the community. He used to harass me for money and could turn violent if refused.

Then I moved into a housing association new build with walls like paper. My underneath neighbour played BOOM BOOM music 24/7 and the HA would not evict him. As a result I gave up a secure tenancy and moved into private rental.

My current NDN is a whingeing needy snitch but she keeps her distance because she is scared of my nephew and his mate. I have also learned the skills of making myself very difficult to contact - ring doorbell/cctv/not answering door unless expecting someone.

To be frank I dont have time for neighbours. They are just random people who happen to live next door and I see no reason to become involved with them.

I'm good friends with a couple of neighbours and we tried to organise a Jubilee party and it was hopeless .

I also tried to organise a fundraiser in the garden for McMillan and it was a failure .

It's a shame .

I have lived in my present home for thirty years, but knew some of my neighbours prior to that.
We don't live in each others pockets, but are there when needed. We have all been at all the childrens weddings.
My son even married the girl next door.
I'm very fortunate, compared to some on here.

We live on a small estate with mixed housing bungalows semis detached built in the early 80s it was woodland. It is still surrounded by woods most of the occupants are middle aged or older people with families who have flew the nest like ourselves. I would say most of the neighbours are friendly enough. Good friends of ours only live around the corner from us.

Until recently because of quite a few deaths we now have three younger families with children moved in and it’s lovely. The laughter and playing outside gives where we live a new lease of life.

We moved from a house where the NDN nearly drove me to a nervous breakdown to a road where we couldn’t have imagined nicer neighbours. While DH was alive, we always helped each other out; we had a great party for VE Day and for the Jubilee - and since DH died, I have been overwhelmed with kindness. I got roundly told off for not accepting offers of help so I don’t refuse now, especially since I had my hip replaced recently. We don’t spend time in each other’s houses, but I think you can still be good neighbours without being in each other’s pockets.

There are only ten properties here and I know all my neighbours. We don't socialise but it's good to stop and chat when I meet them outside. They were all very good to me when I was ill with cancer.

Fleurpepper

karmalady 'it is always good to keep a distance with neighbours. '

we are all different, and each to their own. Personally I don't agree with the above. When I was a very young mum without any family nearby, my neighbours took me under their wing and they were wonderful. Very long friendship developed, although we are like chalk and cheese. Later, when she became old and slowly declined, I was there for her, right to the end.

My young neighbour now is a young widow, lost her husband in a motorcycle accident. She supported me when I had 2 painful operations, and when OH was very ill. We are not supporting her.

As your name says 'karma' what does round, comes around.

But, as you never quite know how these friendships with neighbours will develop, it possibly is a good idea to keep a distance. Neighbours can be intrusive

Unless they clearly need a helping hand, then being a good neighbour is the right thing to do.

Some people have a lot of time on their hands, and others haven't - so there's a conflict straight away.

Neighbours are just people who happen to be living near you - they may not be who you would choose as friends.

One can still be friendly - stopping to have a chat, etc - but there's no obligation on anyone to be "friendly" just because someone lives in your street. Being kind and considerate though I think is obligatory.

Fleurpepper that’s really nice
I think you meant to type now rather than not tho.

Ineed, NOW nor 'not'. I type fast and often make typos, and should check posts more carefully.

Also 'what goes round, comes around'.

Its possible to be polite and civil to neighbours without getting involved.

Most of mine are a different ethnic group so they will naturally go to one of their own if they need help of any sort. I rarely go out now except by car/taxi. However when I was mobile enough to walk down the street I used to say "hello" to them and acknowledge their presence.

My dislike of the NDN has nothing to do with her ethnicity but rather her massive sense of entitlement in telling me I was "only a tenant" and whining to the landlord about things which were none of the LL's concern. One of my most satisfying moments was the day I told her LL had moved abroad I had now bought the house. Her face was a study.

Revenge is sweet.

May people nowadays, [and I dont think it is just the younger generation], seem to think it is noble to "keep themselves to themselves".

"Love your neighbour as yourself", seems a far off concept nowadays.