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Public speaking

(270 Posts)
Aveline Mon 16-Jan-23 10:33:40

I'm just off the phone to my DD who told me that my DGS had cried so much that his face was swollen out of shape. Why? Because he had to give a presentation to his class this morning. He's 9.
I know some children are very happy to do this but this wee lad is very clever but very shy. I also know that he'll likely have to do this sort of thing in whatever career he follows but this seems cruel to me.
Just venting!

FannyCornforth Mon 16-Jan-23 10:58:41

That’s awful. Poor lad. Did your daughter speak to the teacher?

Aveline Mon 16-Jan-23 11:02:12

No point apparently. It's part of the curriculum.

Cs783 Mon 16-Jan-23 11:12:01

My DGS has had to do a short solo presentation each term. So he did three in Reception, and has just done his first in Year 1. He apparently found it more stressful this time - was praised for being brave, not wanting to do it but did it anyway. Some children are refusing, it seems.

Is this a new thing / do the schools know what they are doing / is this research based educational method?

Kate1949 Mon 16-Jan-23 11:21:43

Poor little chap. They shouldn't make children do that. I would have complained. I couldn't do that now and I'm 73!

Callistemon21 Mon 16-Jan-23 11:26:03

Yes, my DGC have had to do this in primary school, research a subject then do a presentation on it. It's supposed to build confidence but it obviously doesn't help a very shy child.

A chat with the teacher might be a good idea, otherwise practising in front of family until he gains more confidence could help.

He won't necessarily have to give presentations in a future career.

Ilovecheese Mon 16-Jan-23 11:27:22

I have heard of this in Australia but didn't realise it was here as well. Surely this is only a necessary skill for salespeople.

Theexwife Mon 16-Jan-23 11:31:44

That’s awful, I didn’t realise that this is something children have to do now. I would have kept the child off school and informed the teacher that they will not be doing it at all.

I do not agree that “he will likely have to do this in whatever career……” there are very many careers that do not require public speaking.

I think it should be encouraged in schools for confidence building but for some, it is too traumatic and will cause a child not to want to go to school.

Dee1012 Mon 16-Jan-23 11:35:11

I think that's far too young although I do appreciate that presentations are the norm' for many college / university courses.
It's something we also do as part of the interview process for a large number of roles.

Aveline Mon 16-Jan-23 11:45:22

My other DGS is a very outgoing boy and relishes these tasks. Its now policy for children to do them. I just hope he goes first so it's over soon and not hanging over him all day. You just can't force people to be confident.

eazybee Mon 16-Jan-23 11:56:22

I used to do this with year five and six groups; the children could talk about anything that interested them, visual aids encouraged,which is why we had a visit from a doberman puppy, a pet snake, a horse and a baby sister, plus ballet costumes, piano playing, collections of china pigs, Japanese cartoons, football trophies et al. Some children did find it nerve-racking but no-one backed out, and I saw a really nice side of my pupils.Their response was excellent; they listened intently, asked sensible questions and were extremely complimentary and supportive, particularly to the nervous ones. The really terrified did it with a partner. They all received a merit mark having done their talk, which was an incentive.

FarNorth Mon 16-Jan-23 12:05:51

Knowing your subject well and doing lots of practice are important to help get through giving a presentation.

I hope it goes all right for your DGS Aveline.

Aveline Mon 16-Jan-23 12:06:41

DGS wont be allowed to back out. He happily did all the research for his topic and wrote it all up neatly but the prospect of standing up in front of the class has absolutely done for his mental health.
My other DGS when asked to bring along something interesting to talk about asked if he could bring his Gran: ie me!

Norah Mon 16-Jan-23 12:18:18

Of course he may never have to give a speech in future.

No help at all -- but perhaps a special treat at tea, just because?

Doodledog Mon 16-Jan-23 12:23:48

It's the sort of thing that gets so much easier with practice, so I can see no harm in getting children to do it in a safe and supportive environment from a young age. Too many people learn early on to give in to the urge to stay in their comfort zone, and never gain the ability to deal with difficult situations.

The skill for the teacher is in with making the situation as easy as possible - maybe starting with a group effort where everyone has a small part - and building towards an individual presentation. As a parent I would have wanted to explore why a child would get so hysterical about a class activity. Is there something else going on at school that made him so upset? Poor little chap - he shouldn't be going through that at all.

It's not just sales people who need to present, though - most people in white-collar jobs will have to speak up in meetings as a minimum - and an inability to do any form of public speaking is a drawback in life as well as in work. Opting out won't make it get easier for him, and an expectation of being able to avoid doing things we find uncomfortable isn't a good lesson to learn either, IMO.

Aveline Mon 16-Jan-23 12:28:51

I do know all this. I have done many, many large scale presentations, run training sessions and even now, long retired, have five current bookings to give talks myself! We're not a shy family but youngest DGS just is a shrinking violet. He will do the talk because he has to but it's more likely to give him a lifelong aversion to public speaking than to encourage him. It's awful to see a wee boy in such distress.

Visgir1 Mon 16-Jan-23 13:27:42

I can clearly recommend doing this when I was about 9 years old.. We all had to give a presentation as they would call it now. That was mid 1960's. I was terrified but did it..
Hope the little chap is OK.

Grandmabatty Mon 16-Jan-23 13:37:19

I was an English teacher and listening and talking was an essential part of every course. Now with CFE literacy skills are expected in every subject so talking assessment comes up over and over. For very anxious children, I offered a lunchtime session where they brought three friends and they did their presentation sitting in a group. That worked well, but only if I knew they were anxious. Sometimes I would say to the class they were doing a practice talk in their groups and I would go round and listen in. If they did well, I used it as their assessment talk. I feel for the wee soul. Not everyone is comfortable standing in front of their peers, even teachers get anxious at the thought. His parents could phone the school to let his teacher know and see if there's a way to help him.

Doodledog Mon 16-Jan-23 13:38:03

I hope it goes well for him. You never know, it might give hum the confidence to feel better about doing the next one, and in time come to take them in his stride. I do hope so.

I completely understand that seeing someone you love in distress is awful - it's worse then feeling the distress yourself - but presentation skills are really important these days, so I understand why the school is doing it.

Glorianny Mon 16-Jan-23 13:43:32

I can't imagine any teacher making a child who was crying stand up and do a presentation in class. I would want to know more, was his issue really with the presentation or did he do it (if reluctantly) and was he perhaps teased by other children afterwards?
If I were his mum I'd want to talk to the teacher

Glorianny Mon 16-Jan-23 13:47:47

Although it is a required part of the curriculum most teachers will make adaptations to suit children who have problems-allowing then to work with a partner or group. I once taught an elective mute- she wasn't going to do a presentation!

biglouis Mon 16-Jan-23 13:50:24

This was very much a part of school in the 1950s. Not so much giving a formal presentation as the teacher instructing the class that they would have to write a story about what they did at the weekend, or where they went on holiday, etc. She also warned the class that she would choose one or two to be read out loud.

I was always well ahead of my age group when it came to reading and writing and really enjoyed being picked to "read out my story" or describe something I had seen or done. I was quite a little show off when it came to singing, drama or recitation.

If I had been asked to demonstrate something mathematical or sporty it would have been a very different matter. I would probably have stayed off sick!

welbeck Mon 16-Jan-23 14:13:34

www.theguardian.com/education/2022/mar/01/university-of-bristol-student-severe-anxiety-court-natasha-abrahart

FarNorth Mon 16-Jan-23 14:28:29

That is absolutely terrible welbeck.
I can well understand that young girl's fear.

FarNorth Mon 16-Jan-23 14:35:15

the prospect of standing up in front of the class has absolutely done for his mental health.

Giving the talk from his seat might be less intimidating - as long as everyone was doing it that way, not only the shy child.

Being forced to stand in front of the class seems akin to throwing someone into deep water to 'encourage' them to swim.

Some might do and others drown.