Should I stay or should I go???

I would make the most of the here and now travelasfar the flat sounds good if you are happy with the change from a house. Provided there are all the facilities you need close by I say go for it. You are still quite close to your sister although I take the point about driving. Good luck

Is it a downstairs flat ?
30 mins is nothing is it ?
If you want to move then it’s sounds fine is it on a bus route in case you can’t drive later ?

Follow your heart but perhaps discuss it with your sister.

Your DD wants you to go and your sister prefers you to stay. What do you want? Think about your own needs and if you feel happy to go then do it.

My sister very upset when I told her but she says if I really want to, go ahead not to worry about her. I just feel so guilty at hurting her, I love her very much and I knew in my heart she would not be happy. Now I don't know what to do. I'd feel awful about letting the young couple down who want to exchange with me......they have children who need a garden and more space....if I decide not to go ahead. Also my daughter super excited at me being so close to her. The reality is I could up upsetting so many people and that's the last thing I want to do!!!!

is it on the ground floor, or if not, does it have a lift?
are you sure your daughter won't move in the future; that often happens for job opportunities.

I'm sorry if this sounds blunt, and I don't wish to cause offence, but I think your sister is being a bit selfish.
She has everyone where it suits her: partner, daughter, you.

It doesn't sound to me as if she's thinking about what's actually best for you.

Also without wanting to offend, I think V3ra has a point.

I’m unsure what floor the new flat is on, if it’s not on the ground floor is there lift access? I know it’s difficult, but if you separate all the different elements out, what do you in your heart want to do. Good luck with whatever you decide.

i don't see it as the sister being selfish.
it's not a simple decision.

It is 2nd floor so great views and there are two lifts as two entrances.

We are only talking 30 min drive, why the need to move?

Where do you see yourself living?

The two bedroom flat sounds very nice but don’t forget that there can be issues living in a flat. If not on top floor, you may hear people walking about, or taking a bath when you are trying to sleep. It’s possible for bathrooms to flood and it may take time to work out responsibility for a repair. You might have good neighbours or not.

Also does the flat have a high monthly service charge? Is the flat near local services, gp, hospital, pharmacy, shops etc?

Will your daughter go back to work? Hope it works out for you.

Does your daughter drive?
30 mins isn't very far you know.
Presumably your daughter visits you anyway?

Are you keen to be living in a flat?
Just wondering.

From the outside it looks like "go!" Your sis cant provide the care you might need and the flat sounds in a lovely location. Yes be aware of what others are like in the surrounding flats. You won't have to stop seeing sis, and she has her family close.

if neither your sis or you can drive, then a meet halfway taxi 15 mins drive won't cost too much.

Sounds like a case of the last minute wobblies, very understandable, change and all, never easy.

I'd just go for it - as you can't please everyone and should choose what suits you best. You won't be moving very far.

Find out about the trains, bus routes and cab services available there, in case you need them in future. Is there a convenient 'half way' place to meet up?

I'm thinking that it's less housework/maintenance - and your bills will be lower in the flat, too - very welcome right now.

What do YOU want?
Try and visualise 5 and then 10 years on and see your life then. Where will it be best suited.

I think you are doing a good thing in terms of moving to allow a young family into your larger house and moving to a smaller flat.

You also need to do what is best for you in the longer term.

I don't know your financial situation but your utility bills etc. will be reduced by living in a smaller property.

Since you both still drive, it won't be an issue at the moment. Is there a bus stop close by for both you and your sister if you can't drive at some point in the future

If you moved, could your sister not stay over with you sometimes since it is a two bedroom flat.

wyllow3 wow what an easy solution to the worry i had about us not being able to drive further down the line!!!! Thank you.
The main reason i want to move is i'm on my own the house and garden are too much for me to deal with and i don't want the worry of a large garden to look after. The house costs a lot to heat as its very old and not as well insulated as modern homes and the flat is only 4 years old and has all the latest insulation.

Is there a bus or rail network from one town to the other? Do you use your garden sit in it or tend to it? If you can travel to the new location if you needed too and wouldn’t miss the garden then go. The rest can sort itself out visiting sister etc it’s not as if she is totally on her own and it’s thirty minutes away.

This is going from bad to worse!!!! My sister is sooooo upset, my daughter so excited to behave me nearer to her and I'm in love with the flat even more after viewing it. I really didn't think sister would react this way. I didn't realise how much she depended on me always being there. It's breaking my heart😟☹️😢 im starting to feel I'm being selfish and I don't want to be.

You need to do what is best for you

Your sister needs to realize it is only 30 minutes, that is less of the work daily commute workers have

travelsafar you are not being selfish! I'm afraid your sister is putting her wants above your needs. You say the house and garden are too much to deal with now, that's only going to get worse as the years go by. Your bills would drastically reduce in a well insulated flat compared to a large old house. You really must do what is best for you, and the flat near your daughter sounds ideal. Your sister should understand that she has a partner and her daughter lives nearby and that you'd like to live that close to your daughter.

travelsafar the more you post here the clearer it seems deep down you want to go.
I understand so well the burden of looking after house/garden knowing it won't get easier. And a loving daughter who clearly wants to be closer to you are you get older.

There is no easy solution for sis. Time will heal, especially if maybe you start with a regular date day each week or fortnight.

If the boot was on the other foot, would you be putting obstacles in your sisters way? I takes it as she is still working she is younger than you? 30 miles is not another country , she has her support network with her daughter and SiL, nearby you need to be firm with her and tell her your reasons for going , more manageable property, lower bills, say how much your daughter wants this move too. Perhaps suggest you plan some day trips and short holidays for after the move.