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What’s the point of life?

(43 Posts)
Hildagard Sun 07-May-23 10:02:06

Feeling very down today, second long weekend , no family contact! An event has split us all . Everyone says time is a great healer, I’m seventy in a few weeks, have I the time? Want to shout and scream. DH and I are now an island
Sorry just feeling very sad.

dragonfly46 Sun 07-May-23 10:03:53

I am so sorry to hear this. Have you contacted the family? Often it just takes one to reach out.

Hildagard Sun 07-May-23 10:04:52

Yes but they think I should leave my husband

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 07-May-23 10:06:37

Why do they think that? What was this event?

Hildagard Sun 07-May-23 10:08:13

I can’t say on here , forget it I should’ve just I don’t know put my big girl pants on and get on with it!

Daddima Sun 07-May-23 10:10:47

I remember a friend of mine had family trouble. She said she just asked herself what was the absolute ‘ bottom line’. When she concluded that she wanted to heal the rift, and keep the family together, she decided that she should do whatever she could to achieve this, even if it ‘went against the grain’.

NanaDana Sun 07-May-23 10:14:02

So sorry to hear that you're feeling down today, Hildegard. Is this a one-off just now, or do you often feel like this. If it's just a bad interlude, which we all have, it will pass. If it's a feeling you often have, maybe reach out for some professional help, starting with your G.P. Wishing you well. flowers

MerylStreep Sun 07-May-23 10:15:02

Hildagard

I can’t say on here , forget it I should’ve just I don’t know put my big girl pants on and get on with it!

Sometimes, Hildagard that’s the best and only way to get through these situations.

Grammaretto Sun 07-May-23 10:15:56

Ah Hildagard. I was going to say at least you have a DH but if he's one of the reasons for your spirit being so low, I don't know what to suggest.
Between being too busy and too tired, I have no time to dwell on the meaning of life.
grin
You could try booking yourself a holiday at a rural guesthouse. Do these places still exist?
Or, as my df has just done, take a trip to the Orkney Islands or somewhere remote. Good for the soul.

henetha Sun 07-May-23 10:22:16

Just sending you sympathy. Life is tough sometimes. I do hope it can all be resolved soon and you feel more positive. flowers

Tink75 Sun 07-May-23 10:27:08

One day at a time dear lady. Thinking of you .

nadateturbe Sun 07-May-23 10:30:43

It's difficult to be helpful without knowing the whole story, but I'm sorry you feel like that.
I can only offer my own experience.
I had a long period - twice when my son's family didn't talk to me, (not my fault, they fall out with people easily).
It was difficult but in the end I just made my own life and enjoyed it. always missed them though, and one day I bit the bullet and went to their house to make it up, do whatever I needed to do. It made me happier. Sadly the relationship with my gc will never be close, no bonding when they were young.
Perhaps you could talk to a counsellor.
wishing you well.

Gingster Sun 07-May-23 10:35:00

Try to make a life for yourself. You’re not 70 yet and god willing plenty of life ahead for you.
There is so much out there but you have to find it.
No one is going to knock on your door.
Just make an effort and I’m sure life will get better.
Good luck to you.

Hildagard Sun 07-May-23 10:42:36

Thank you all for your kindness, like everything it will pass……

silverlining48 Sun 07-May-23 11:00:57

Try to keep busy, take things a day at a time and don’t overthink Hildegard .
Your mental health is important, look after yourself. flowers

Quokka Sun 07-May-23 11:54:48

No advice Hildegard but really feel for you in this predicament.

Shelflife Sun 07-May-23 12:19:36

Hidegard, I am so sorry you are feeling so low. Whatever is distressing you I hope it will be resolved. In the mean time would you consider seeing a counsellor? She / he will assure you that the sessions are comply confidential, they will listen and enable you to re assess what is happening and hopefully give you time and space to see a way forward. If you do go down the counseling route please make sure they are properly accredited and qualified. You GP may be able to point you in the right direction. You are correct 'This too will pass' but professional support will may well heal you. Please don't hesitate get professional help now , friends no matter how well meaning are not necessarily the best people to help. I sincerely wish you well.💐

LRavenscroft Sun 07-May-23 13:20:28

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. One question I often ask myself is 'Is it worth it?' i.e. What am I getting out of a situation that is favourable without me having to bend over backwards to please different sets of people. Only you will know what your circumstances are and what triggered them. I cut ties with a lot of my parents' family after they died because the cousins just weren't worth it. It was always on their terms or no terms and as I was trying to find 'my peace', it was easier not to please them than to please them. Whatever your circumstances, I hope you find a solution and happiness but do be aware that if your OH is unkind to you, you must also consider if you are happy with this for the future.

JaneJudge Sun 07-May-23 13:29:05

I'm sorry you are feeling so low. If you need to talk about why they want you to leave your husband or why they are excluding you, you know people on Gransnet will listen flowers

Juliet27 Sun 07-May-23 13:30:07

A wise last sentence LRavenscroft

MadeInYorkshire Sun 07-May-23 13:47:27

I haven't really got a situation to resolve, and I see no point in life either .... wish I could just give in.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 07-May-23 13:56:06

I think I know how you feel, Hildegard.

After my sister's death, her children have completely dropped DH and me.

They have never told us why, but I have always felt they dislike DH and think I should leave him.

However, I am happy with him, and have no intention of leaving him, so if you and your husband are happy, which I hope you are, although you didn't say, then disregard the rest of the family, or contact them and tell them you would like to mend bridges and let bygones be bygones, but that you intend to stay with your husband, and see what they say.

lixy Sun 07-May-23 14:06:07

No 'advice' but didn't want to read and run - do hope you find a good way forward and, yes. big girl pants and a smile can help. Will be thinking of you.

Bizziebe Sun 07-May-23 14:13:04

Life is meaningless and can be pretty hostile if we let things overburden us. I hope you can find a positive solution so that you can overcome the problem for you, never mind the rest of them.

Aldom Sun 07-May-23 14:24:31

MadeInYorkshire

I haven't really got a situation to resolve, and I see no point in life either .... wish I could just give in.

So sorry you feel like this.
Sending you a warm hug. flowers