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Have just given our car to grandson. Empty drive syndrome.

(62 Posts)
Lovetopaint037 Tue 23-May-23 11:10:31

Just that. We have good transport here and since Covid have been ordering online. My dh is 84 and he said that although he can drive okay he is aware that his reactions in less familiar situations is less than it used to be. He said he would sooner finish driving before not when he might cause an accident. I have lost my confidence as I have gradually left driving to dh as I no longer use it for it shops. We use our freedom passes on buses and trains so have not been driving that much. If we had been using the car regularly I know we would have continued to use it. There is a cab company not far away that locals use and the family are promising to help us in awkward situations. Our car had under 6,000 miles on the clock although 8 years old. So we had it serviced, MOT’d and gave it to gs Who is delighted. It is. Ford Fiesta zetec engine so tax is zero. I do feel a little vulnerable and odd but pleased for gs. Wondering how others feel when giving a car up.

Tamayra Fri 26-May-23 15:18:55

I’ve just driven 2500kms from Cairns to Sydney I’m 80 next month
I managed just fine Drove about 6 hrs most days.
Trusting I didn’t pick up any speeding tickets Time will tell on that one.
Now driving in Sydney traffic
It’s ok as long as one concentrates !
No intention to give up my car although in New South Wales Australia we have to take another driving test at age 85.

Grammaretto Fri 26-May-23 15:39:25

There seem to be 2 contrasting lines of thought going on.
There are those such as Tamayra and others who want to continue driving forever. It is their independence and they are proud
On the other hand there are those like the OP who wants to do without a car and hand on her vehicle before she has to.
The added bonus for the second group is that they no longer have to worry about either the cost of running a car, the impact on the environment and their aging eyesight and energy levels.

jocork Sat 27-May-23 09:03:43

I plan to downsize and move to a cheaper area but am aware that to future proof my life I will need good public transport. Where I live at the moment I've never even used my bus pass as the services are so poor but I know there will probably come a time when I'll have to stop driving. I dread it, but hope that with the right planning it will be manageable. I've used my bus pass in a city when visiting family and hope to live somewhere where that is possible all the time, but I'd still have a car for travelling further afield as long as driving is still possible for me. I also try to stay reasonably fit so I can walk to places that aren't too far. I use my car less as a result.

Grammaretto Sat 27-May-23 10:44:20

It depends where you live now, where you want to move to ofcourse but we actually bought our house in a commuter town over 40 years ago because there are buses.
DH was a daily commuter by bus.
We mainly used our car for weekends and holidays.
I am sometimes tempted to downsize and move to a pretty village near the sea but my sensible side tells me that's daft.

I wish our government would invest in better public transport. There were moves towards this before the covid pandemic but sadly that has been a major setback.

When there is investment, it's great.
One of our bus services carries bicycles, has WiFi and feels clean and new.
I go free so what's not to like.

A once defunct railway line has reopened and serves the Scottish Borders for the first time since 5he 1960s. The Waverley Line.

Grammaretto Sat 27-May-23 10:46:03

Hetty58 Sat 27-May-23 10:47:51

Grammaretto, another benefit for the second group should be better health and stronger muscles - as they are likely to walk a little more. Use it or lose it, as they say.

Hetty58 Sat 27-May-23 10:53:32

Greyduster, I don't understand. Yes, I know buses can be a pain but surely there are cabs in your area? If you're not out visiting daily, then you're wasting a lot of money.

Grammaretto Sat 27-May-23 15:09:13

Do none of you who are so dependent on cars have friends or family who could deliver you to the airport or help out sometimes with lifts?
Owning a car, I feel, is a privilege but also a responsibility. I offer lifts to non drivers and also accept lifts when I am offered.
Two friends have offered to drive me to have my cataract operation and take me home after.

Foxygloves Sat 27-May-23 16:22:12

Personally I try not to ask for lifts unless really necessary unless I am in a position to reciprocate as it can make me feel dependent!
I think most of us would rather offer than ask.

Cabbie21 Sat 27-May-23 23:05:11

My father carried on driving when he was no longer safe to do so and it was a huge worry. Then he needed an operation and had to give up. They managed thanks to neighbours and local buses, but it was a relief when he did not drive any more. Far too many people carry on driving when they are not safe to do so.
Where I live we have a good bus service into the city, for banks etc. Locally, I walk to the shops, but sometimes hop on the bus back rather than carry shopping. So in many respects I can do without a car, but I would not be able to visit my daughter who lives in a nearby village with no buses, or my son, just a 20 minute drive but two hours by public transport, or go to my choirs unless I begged lifts. I hope I will know when the time comes to stop driving, but I hope for several more years yet.

biglouis Sun 28-May-23 00:38:02

I never learned to drive. I had a number of lessons but they brought on panic attacks and I realised I was not fitted to be in charge of a car. I have always had some diffculty concentrating on more than one thing at once. When I have a bad panic attack I cant string two sensible words together let along drive a potentially dangerous vehicle.

So at least now I can take satisfaction in knowing I am not contributing to pollution in this city.

I dont go out much now but if I need to go out locally there are plenty of taxis where I live. I use them for hospital visits etc. If I want to go to Liverpool to visit family one of my nephews or nieces will come and pick me up and bring me back. But I cant expect them to run me around locally.