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I wonder what it said?

(44 Posts)
kittylester Wed 07-Jun-23 10:17:35

Indulging my Rightmove habit this morning, I came across a description of a house which said, 'Upon entering the house one is greeted by the lounge.....'.

What do you think it said - 'who the hell are you' springs to mind.

Scribbles Fri 09-Jun-23 18:07:33

Then there are those homes which "benefit from parking space for three cars" and "enjoy the amenity of a beautifully landscaped garden".
Maybe the poor house is fed up with all those vehicles coming and going and who knows what it "enjoys"?

Squiffy Fri 09-Jun-23 18:30:51

Many moons ago, when we were house-hunting, the estate agent sent us details of a house which had a ‘bathroom with bath’ - yes, that was literally all it had! The garden was ‘natural’, which probably doesn’t need explaining! We didn’t buy it!

Glorianny Fri 09-Jun-23 18:54:06

I loved the photographs my estate agent took of my house when I was selling it. It looked like the sort of house I'd always wanted to live in, so much better than it actually was.
Just found this
Situated at the bottom of the garden, an alarmed summer house with power and light.

Allsorts Fri 09-Jun-23 18:57:18

We need more people like Roy Brooke’

Callistemon21 Fri 09-Jun-23 19:31:57

kittylester
😂😂😂

We had an estate agent here who was very professional but, since his sad demise, it has been taken over by a chain and I just laugh when I see the agent on RightMove when he does the walkabout in the property.

I've avoided the video tours but perhaps I should watch them!

Callistemon21 Fri 09-Jun-23 19:44:16

"The parquet flooring in the hall leads us into the living room" ...
There's clever for you!

"A great feature of this property is its epic proportions"
Windsor? Buckingham Palace?
No, it's a three bedroomed bungalow with sitting room, kitchen and one bathroom.

"Coming out you are greeted by these private gardens"
Oh, hello, I could be your garden 😀 "I'm beautiful" (no, you're not)

Callistemon21 Fri 09-Jun-23 19:46:45

Foxygloves 😂

Esmay Mon 12-Jun-23 08:48:54

I laugh at estate agent speak :

One comes to mind ,this property allows the purchaser's imagine to come into play ."

I think that a bulldozer was the only option .

The other thing that drives me mad are newspaper headlines describing fans as raving or swooning or queuing in droves over /for some celebrity's dress .

Aveline Mon 12-Jun-23 08:56:05

Am loving this thread. More please!

Tizliz Mon 12-Jun-23 08:58:19

“The bedrooms enjoy a fantastic view”

Aveline Mon 12-Jun-23 09:00:33

I'm so happy for them

Wyllow3 Mon 12-Jun-23 09:16:08

Tea towel hung over stove/oven = appalling dirty old oven.

I found out the hard way - when I moved in, there was a smell of gas and the gas man had to come round that night and seal the gas. Next day, still unpacked, new stove.

luluaugust Mon 12-Jun-23 09:35:36

Reminds me of Hoffnung "Every room has a French widow"

Esmay Sat 17-Jun-23 01:43:53

luluaugust -
I can imagine male tourists queuing in droves for that Tyrolean hotel offering bedrooms in which French widows
offer their charms !

Esmay Sat 17-Jun-23 01:48:09

Or rather - a French widow affords delightful prospects !

nanna8 Sat 17-Jun-23 03:29:24

Renovate or Detonate used to be a common one here for a dump.

Aveline Sat 17-Jun-23 07:32:01

Good one nanna8

Esmay Mon 19-Jun-23 14:46:50

Here's another gem :

The absence of a fitted kitchen is explained as
( The kitchen ) " has been finished as an exciting blank canvas giving the new owner the
opportunity to design their own interior fit - out . "

I'm so relieved .