Can't cope with friends mental health

Thank you everyone. You've all given me lots to think about. It's such a sad situation I've known her for so long. But she seems just like a stranger now

pascal30

nanna8

I should maybe say that having a mental illness doesn’t usually make someone aggressive and unpleasant. More often it is withdrawal and fear and irrational speech. Just saying.

unless it's bi-polar, sometimes psychosis or paranoid schizophrenia

Some thoughts on that. With bi-polar (and thee are 2 kinds of bi-polar, only one of then has the aggressive symptoms) moods swing and can be very depressive ie withdrawal and self blaming. People with psychosis and bi-polar severe mania can be like that but not if its under good drug control.

It sounds to me it could possibly be an aspect of what's described a Personality Disorder (can be combined with other stuff). These are harder to treat as they are sort of hard-wired into how we are, and also perhaps more likely to be denied. But those are difficult to diagnose and need a psychiatrist. (Although there is a lot of general talk about narcissists on gransnet and elsewhere).

Lot so people in gransnet have talked about experiences of depression and anxiety and OCD and tend to blame self not others, at least know and can "name and explain"whats wrong.

Biscuitmuncher -
we might be talking about the same friend .
I've known a lady for about three plus years and last year , I found her so unpleasant that I cooled our relationship off .

It's all about her and her complete obsession with herself .
I'm tired of the sympathy from me the long texts, the phone calls , the cards , chocolates , flowers and plants .

Last month ,
guilt set in :

We went to the cinema .

First of all , I had a lot of nonsense about booking tickets and getting there .

She mumbled all the way through the film .
It was so distracting .

When it finished , I was telling her something interesting from my past and it was dismissed irritably .

Everything is about her illnesses , her family and her life .

I've met two of her three children and they are really odd .
I'm wondering if there aren't genetic problems from what she's told me about her mother .

I can't talk to her husband about it.
He's a selfish man and she's his doormat .

She has a big house to clean and endless obligations with her two selfish children that I mentioned and elderly relatives .

At the end of the day ,she makes me feel depressed and is very poor company .

A few years ago , I walked away from two friends - one a severe epilepic and the other a schizophrenic (who assaulted me ) because they were both unbearable .

My life with my father is difficult and I need the pleasant , distracting and enjoyable company of friends who care about me .

Eventually, you will feel the same .
Wishing you well .

Esmay life is difficult without having people drag us down. I hope things get better for us. Take Care

M0nica

People with dementia can be aggressive and unpleasant, similalry people under a lot of stress - an if this lady has had a health scare, this may have affected her deeply.

As others say, if you are scared of her, then that is a warning sign and should govern your conduct. Can you just see her for short periods when other people are around?

But your safety and mental health must come first, I would drift out of this relationship rather than just cut it, if possible. This gives your friend time to recover, if this is likely to happen.

This.. exactly so. I'd started to write similar, but this says it better than my effort. The final para is especially important. Excellent advice, M0nica.