Tracking On Phones.

Was very glad when stuck by roadside and AA tracked me. Not only that, the phone operator told me how to switch the tracking on, phew.

But tracking family or them tracking me?
I'll be very glad when I'm vv elderly I think it would give more confidence when out and about just in case. No interest in tracking AC.

I also agree that if both parties are happy with the arrangement there is no reason why it should matter to anyone else.

I agree with Dickens that what makes me uneasy is the idea that people not wanting it must have something to hide, or that objection is based on a lack of understanding of technology (and worse, that this must be because of older age ).

That sort of dismissal of the views of others is the gateway to coercion, whether on this matter or anything else. The fact that tracking others most definitely can be coercive (although clearly it is not always used in that way) makes those attitudes raise red flags for me.

maddyone

Bobbysgirl you are right, it is used as a stalking device. I would say that it’s fine for parents to track their children and teens on their phones, it’s not right for a husband or wife to track their spouse. It’s an element of control and it’s unhealthy.

This was the post I was referring to earlier Maddieone.
Thank you for clarifying that there are circumstances where a need to control is clearly not the case.

.....maddyone

"But to me it's the constant monitoring of what other people are doing throughout their day that's totally wrong." AreWeThereYet

But who does that? It would be weird. If they are that weird, and you can, switch them off. Coercive Control is a problem in its own right. Though huge for those it's happening to it affects a very small percentage. Otherwise, we all have a choice.

Yes, the 'curtain twitchers' were an absolute pain, and there was no way to 'switch them off'. Same with small town 'surveillance'. With the tracking being discussed on this thread we do have a choice, unless of course there is coercive control, but that is a much bigger issue.

My sons and I have it on our phones but I live alone and my sons worry about me when I’m travelling etc I don’t see a problem with it. If you get a taxi you can share where you are etc

I remember a time - early 50s (or maybe even late 40s) when it was often impossible to contact someone - or even locate them - if they were travelling around the country on holiday, or for whatever reason.

Sometimes, it was necessary for such people to be contacted because a member of their family was acutely ill, and I remember the BBC radio announcements which would hopefully attract their attention - giving their names, the colour, make and registration number of their car, and the approximate location of where they were presumed to be travelling... asking them to contact a particular telephone number, because a relative was dangerously ill.

So, yes - tracking can be a fantastic piece of technology in instances like that, and others mentioned by posters.

But like all new gadgetry and technological developments, there is often a downside when it can be hijacked for use against people, rather than for their wellbeing. Which is why I believe the nature of the individual who has control of such technology is important.

Someone 'looking out' for the welfare and safety of a family member, or wanting to organise specific events, etc, will use it for their and their family's benefit. My ex MIL would've used it as a flippin' weapon along with her equally controlling son!

Every bit of progress has a down side sadly Dickens but we can only legislate for the behaviour.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-35815747

I felt a little nostalgic reading your post, so I found this recording - just a reminder of what it used to sound like on the Home Service.

DaisyAnneReturns

Every bit of progress has a down side sadly Dickens but we can only legislate for the behaviour.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-35815747

I felt a little nostalgic reading your post, so I found this recording - just a reminder of what it used to sound like on the Home Service.

... thanks for that DaisyAnneReturns - gosh, it brings back memories doesn't it! I remember our family listening solemnly to those SOS messages - and my grandmother shaking her head saying something like, "oh dear, poor soul".

It's interesting to note that the SOS system lasted for such a long time.

I can see the value in knowing where 11-18 year olds or vulnerable people are. The idea of tracking my adult children or them tracking me, fills me with horror. Not because any of us are up to no good, or leading double lives, just because privacy is to be valued.
I find mobile phones intrusive enough.

Maddyone makes valid points about the use of tracking in Coercive control and emotional abuse.

I don’t need some tracker to tell me exactly when a parent will collect their children. They will have said, I finish at 5 today so hopefully, be with you by 6. Good enough

I’m surprised that so many are surprised. I, my son and his wife and her parents are all on Find My. There are two small grandsons that I help look after, it’s nice to know when mum or dad are on their way home, or the other grandparents are on their way. We all know where we are if we’re needed. It seems so natural. My son and his wife are both shift workers so it’s helpful to us all.
My daughter is not with Apple so we track each other on a different app. She was cabin crew and travelled all over the world…said she felt pleased that I always knew where she was. She lives a way away and likes to track my journey when I visit, and visa versa.
I also have an air tag in my car in case it’s stolen, I also put an air tag in my suitcase when I travel anywhere. I’ve had my case mislaid twice…so at least I can tell the airline where it is!

Speaking of Air Tags - if anyone has an Apple Watch and didn't know this (or was it just me who didn't realise for ages?) if you swipe up from the bottom of the watch face and click on the little phone icon it will ring your iPhone. Very useful if you can't remember putting it in your bag and are halfway down the garden path, or if you've just put in a load of washing and get a sinking feeling that it might be in a pocket . It's a great feature.

Hahaha! I use it most days! Invaluable!

Yes I like the Apple Watch phone locator too. DH and I also use Walkie Talkie on our watches, which is great when one of us is missing in the garden. 😂

I know of someone who tracks her adult children, and their children, mostly young adults, to the extent that grandson has gone abroad with his girlfriend for the first time, and they are being tracked daily !! I definitely wouldn't know where to start.

I am amazed that her children and grandchildren allow this lady to track them.

Had my parents had the facility to do this in my youth, they would have been told firmly and politely that they were not going to do it - and since they would need my co-operation to do so, it would have been a complete non-starter.

How can anyone have any kind of private life or private interests when an adukt is watching their every movement.

It is not that I cannot think of situations where such tracking software could be useful, but for independent adults, to have every little movement monitored, to kno, whether you wanted to do something claandestine or not, it would be found out because you were being tracked by mummy. Good grief!

I agree MOnica. What price privacy
I also don’t understand why anyone would want to extend the tyranny of mobiles/texts/emails demanding instant responses.

I totally agree with your post, Monica.

M0nica

I am amazed that her children and grandchildren allow this lady to track them.

Had my parents had the facility to do this in my youth, they would have been told firmly and politely that they were not going to do it - and since they would need my co-operation to do so, it would have been a complete non-starter.

How can anyone have any kind of private life or private interests when an adukt is watching their every movement.

It is not that I cannot think of situations where such tracking software could be useful, but for independent adults, to have every little movement monitored, to kno, whether you wanted to do something claandestine or not, it would be found out because you were being tracked by mummy. Good grief!

Where exactly do we know of this happening. In my experience it simply doesn't happen like that. Were someone to do it, it would be inappropriate behavior and could be stopped. You could simply switch off the app.

If yiu read the thread DAR, you’ll see it’s happening in the lives of many posters. Not this one

DAR Read the post immediately above the one you quote.

I think if you are living with someone who uses coercive control, it causes problems for the victim in that turning off the tracker would be dangerous. My sister and my daughter would absolutely hate the lack of privacy. I couldn't care less except for I can't blame the traffic jams when I am late home because my husband can see that I spent too long shopping! However, since he is only happy that I am safe and haven't had an accident, that's ok. I've offered to let my daughter see where I am (so she can actually be ready for when I arrive to pick her up) but she isn't interested in that. I have told my youngest son that he must turn his tracker off as soon as he feels the loss of his privacy but he really isn't bothered about it at all.

Iam64

If yiu read the thread DAR, you’ll see it’s happening in the lives of many posters. Not this one

I have followed the thread from the beginning * Iam*. I have seen many people suggest mother's, mother's-in-law and great Aunt Flo might have tracked them or others. But knowing the character of these people you just wouldn't give them access.

I have agreed that people in a coercive control relationship might misuse the phone app. People using coercive control will use anything they can. It is an awful situation and difficult to take away their power. But they could also use the "drop in" on Alexa, the camera in a teddy bear nanny cam, etc. The problem is not the technology, it is the person.

As for children, who knows if a parent with time to constantly watch a dot on an app? I simply don't believe it. I think it will be used on specific occasions until they are using it as so many adults happily do now.

If you want to turn this molehill into a mountain, I cannot stop you. But personally I think that people will behave in the same way they have always done. The sane and sensible will continue to be that and the bad, the criminal or those behaving inappropriately will be that, whatever is available to them. They need to be dealt with by the law or medically, not by depriving others of what they find useful.

DAR You are very trusting of those who have the mindset to think family tracking is a good idea.

Just as you say, tracking can be used as a form of coercive control, and that coercive control can just as easily be exercised by the parent and grandparent of adult C and GC, as by a partner.

To me the mindset that thinks such tracking control is harmless and reasonable, between generations of adults, without a very good and specific reason, perhaps someone with a learning disability, is of itself quite frightening, regardless of whether they exercise that power or not.