FOMO

Is this because of their social media posts Cid24? Other people aren’t necessarily having a better time than you, but they often only post about their successes. They have problems and failures like everyone else.

Plan to do something you like - for example, visiting a gallery or walking in the park or a new book or coffee and cake in a nice cafe.

I keep a journal, hand written in a nice notebook, and it cheers me up to look at those,

Could it be that you had previously shown no interest in the activities and they think you don't want to go?

Alternatively, why don't you organise an activity and invite them along, things don't have to be left to others to arrange.

No it’s not social media . And I think they’d know I’d want to be included, . I’m very much one for saying yes to things .

What is FOMO?

FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out.

lemsip

FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out.

It means something completely different in my Royal Navy family so I was confused when it started popping up on social media. 😂

How do u know about these activities? Ru in a What’s s App group- perhaps contact was made and you didn’t see it/ didn’t respond?

Are you close to one of the people in the group? If so ask why you are not invited to some activities.

Do you organise group activities for other people?

After they come to your activities they almost certainly invite you back to theirs.

If you don’t organise any group activities you can hardly expect to just piggyback on other’s efforts.

I know about these activities via various other people. I don’t want to divulge too much as I’m afraid I’ll be identified. I am very proactive and often invite people to my house and arrange lots of activities. There’s very much an “ in crowd” of people in this group that I like , but am on the periphery. They are the ones who have formed this group that do things. I accepted that this was something they had organised as part of their group and I was ok with that. I have since heard that three others who are not part of the “ in crowd” have been invited to something they are doing. And I’m hurt I’ve not been.
I guess this might be down to lack of self esteem in my part , and also maybe a bit pompous too. Uncomfortable feelings. Might go for counselling to sort this out. Am not proud of how I’m feeling , but it continues to eat away at me. Interesting to hear other people’s views on this, thank you .

Why can’t people write what they want you to read instead of talking in alphabet soup 😥never heard of FOMO
I think it’s a non problem groups are always like this there is invariably someone who invites some and not others ,and break away groups and cliques it always happens.
I ve never thought I needed counselling though
Just don’t take it to heart It always happens in groups I d just accept it and make new friends if it’s bugging you that much

Cid24. Ru 24 yrs of age- why would thinking about going to counselling of friends not inviting you … maybe as you wrote a self esteem issue and perhaps counselling can help with this..

Counselling 😱 seriously?
A while back you posted that you and your husband were becoming more and more anti social. Maybe the group’s attitude stems from that.

I suffer from FOBI - fear of being included.

It doesn't matter how old you get , cliques and groups always form and their behaviour will always take one straight back to the school playground .
I can see why you're feeling sensitive about this , it stings to be excluded , why do people have to be so horrible .

LovesBach

I suffer from FOBI - fear of being included.

That made me laugh , yes me too sometimes 😅

Loves Bach: Me too, I just let everyone get on with it and keep out of it. I couldn't care less what everyone else does.

It can’t just me that struggles to know what things mean. FOMO ? Fear of missing out so why not say that ? Sometimes I ponder for ages to try to sort out what the letters mean. Grand net is particularly bad for this, I feel as if I have joined a club that everyone but me knows acronyms.

LovesBach

I suffer from FOBI - fear of being included.

🤣🤣🤣

@LovesBach

It's not FOBI (Fear Of Being Included), it's
JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out),
something I'm afflicted with myself 🤣

LovesBach

BlueBelle

Why can’t people write what they want you to read instead of talking in alphabet soup 😥never heard of FOMO
I think it’s a non problem groups are always like this there is invariably someone who invites some and not others ,and break away groups and cliques it always happens.
I ve never thought I needed counselling though
Just don’t take it to heart It always happens in groups I d just accept it and make new friends if it’s bugging you that much

Agreed. It always happens and has happened from the dawn of time, no one made a fuss about it before the time of social media. No need for alphabet soup either, not every one spends every waking moment on tweeters, insta Grammies and facebooks.

Unless its a dinner party with x number of nominated places you can always rock up with a bottle of wine.

"Oh I saw your posting on farcebook. I just assumed it was a general invitation"

When I moved into my first flat my underneath neighbours put a note through my door warning me of a party the following evening. I rocked up with a bottle of wine and a "I got your note. Thanks for the invite." The neighbour looked a bt surprised but obviously she was not going to remember exactly what she wrote to fail to ask me in. I later became quite good friends with her and another couple I met at the party.

Try being a bit more pushy if its important to you to participate. Now I would not go to a party if you paid me,

Cid24 I feel for you - I can see that you know that in many ways this is about your own thoughts and feelings and not really about what these people are doing. But that does not stop you feeling hurt. I think it is a good way ahead to find counselling - we all have 'stuff' to learn about ourselves and free ourselves from things which cause us distress. I am sending you a hug! You are OK - and getting support is a sensible path ahead.