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Dogs or Children?

(123 Posts)
hollysteers Thu 10-Aug-23 12:50:53

There are a couple of female childless journalists on social media who speak witheringly of ‘breeders’ like myself who have children and speak glowingly of their choice to be child free and in fact, almost its superiority.

They both now have dogs and are utterly smitten. Photos abound of their ‘cute’ dogs and photographs (boring) appear almost daily. They are now ‘in love’ with their dogs and their lives are changed,
Am I alone in thinking that this could be the wrong way round?
Not having experienced having children, how do they know for certain (which they stress) they would not have enjoyed and found satisfaction from the experience?
Nothing against dogs BTW.

Staceyann Thu 10-Aug-23 18:49:08

Iam64

Liz Jones is tedious

I was blessed with children anc I’ve always lived with dogs, win win

Dogs are animals not fur babies

Oh, I agree re Liz Jones - she’s so self centred! I think her husband (Nirpal?) got out pretty quickly!

Grams2five Thu 10-Aug-23 18:51:21

Children fit me I find dogs generally repulsive 😆. To each their own though. I’d much rather people who prefer dogs have dogs for the children’s sake .

Blondiescot Thu 10-Aug-23 18:56:39

BlueBelle

Children .. I don’t see any way of comparing dogs with the love we have for our children Dogs are animals to be loved as an animal, but comparisons to a human aren't really possible

If you had a fire and could only save your child or your dog you all saying you d save the dog !!!

If there was a fire and I had to choose between my dog and anyone else outside my very immediate family (husband, children, grandchild) then you better bet I'd be choosing my dog.

Dickens Thu 10-Aug-23 19:03:35

I respect anyone's right to be child free, but those that refer to parents as "breeders" are obnoxious.

With or without dogs.

Lots of families have both children and dogs - and teaching a child to look after and care for an animal is a good thing.

As you get older, dogs can be great companions.

Why either / or? You can have both kids and dogs.

The only thing that makes me cringe is referring to them as "fur babies". It's excruciatingly twee, and just a tad disrespectful to the animal IMO.

dogsmother Thu 10-Aug-23 19:19:08

Absolutely correct Dickens. Why do people forget what it feels like to be a small child, vulnerable and totally dependent.

Iam64 Thu 10-Aug-23 19:21:20

foxie48, I identify with your post about horses dogs and a child who almost broke your heart.
I had a cracking fall (from a 16.2 firebrand) at age 25, bent the top 7 vertebrae back, concussed and advised not to ride for 9 months. I was lucky it wasn’t worse. I stopped riding 15 years ago when RA got in the way but - the smell of horses still puts me in a good place.
My dogs became Therapy Dogs, the first couple accidentally, the next two more deliberately. My current two have had therapy pushed upon them as a result of my husbands devastating diagnosis and death last year. My daughters have also been fantastic support as they say I have been to them. 💙💖🐕🐶😍

sodapop Thu 10-Aug-23 19:25:08

Not everyone has those maternal feelings Dickens and dogsmother and until fairly recently it was not admitted than women could feel that way. I'm talking in historical terms of time here.

lemsip Thu 10-Aug-23 19:39:46

itv 8.30 tonight. charlotte hawkins presents a show investigating ' 'dangerous dogs' the truth'. put op on tv slot

Blossoming Thu 10-Aug-23 19:50:14

Neither, I want kittens!

Blossoming Thu 10-Aug-23 19:52:13

Not all childless people choose not to have children.

Georgesgran Thu 10-Aug-23 20:06:27

I think if you choose not to have children - it’s child free.
Unfortunately ‘childless’ seems to describe those who want them, but for whatever reason are unable to.

foxie48 Thu 10-Aug-23 21:13:53

Iam64

foxie48, I identify with your post about horses dogs and a child who almost broke your heart.
I had a cracking fall (from a 16.2 firebrand) at age 25, bent the top 7 vertebrae back, concussed and advised not to ride for 9 months. I was lucky it wasn’t worse. I stopped riding 15 years ago when RA got in the way but - the smell of horses still puts me in a good place.
My dogs became Therapy Dogs, the first couple accidentally, the next two more deliberately. My current two have had therapy pushed upon them as a result of my husbands devastating diagnosis and death last year. My daughters have also been fantastic support as they say I have been to them. 💙💖🐕🐶😍

Thank you for this post, one of the many things I love about GN is when experiences collide, it shows our shared humanity (and frailty). I feel very fortunate to have shared part of my life with horses (and dogs for that matter). They don't know anything about you apart from the relationship that you share. You can be rich, poor, clever or not, live in a big house or be almost destitute but they just see you as you are. I find this very humbling, they are great levellers and tbh they have taught me so much about myself. I am still riding in mid 70's and they are still teaching me. I am sorry you can no longer ride, I know how much I would miss it but pleased your dogs are able to give you some comfort.flowers

GrannyGravy13 Thu 10-Aug-23 21:23:20

Children over dogs

I adore our horses, and totally agree that a cuddly neck and snuffles cures most blues

Dickens Fri 11-Aug-23 01:47:31

sodapop

Not everyone has those maternal feelings Dickens and dogsmother and until fairly recently it was not admitted than women could feel that way. I'm talking in historical terms of time here.

I realise that not every woman has maternal feelings - it's not a crime, and it's about time it was acknowledged, and that people stopped referring to couples who don't have children as "childless", inferring some kind of inadequacy.

That's why I said that I respected anyone's right to be child free.

My comments about having both dogs and children is because the OP posted the question as "dogs-or-children"... one doesn't exclude the other.

sodapop Fri 11-Aug-23 09:12:50

Yes I agree about the child free/childless reference. Dickens It is still assumed frequently that people who don't have children have some sort of medical problem.

Spuddy Fri 11-Aug-23 09:18:34

I don't like kids and chose never to have any when I was 6 ...I'm 58 now, so give me a doggy any day!

Have a great day!

dogsmother Fri 11-Aug-23 09:24:10

Sodapop I absolutely adore dogs…had I been wealthier I’d have also had horses. But I will never accept that people can put their animals ahead of their children - never ever.

dogsmother Fri 11-Aug-23 09:25:33

Should have edited to say choices can be made not to have children and that is fine. I have always respected that.

Kate1949 Fri 11-Aug-23 09:34:31

dogsmother. I have been told in the past that I'm not a nice person because I don't like dogs. Also that people who don't like them are untrustworthy. I find that hurtful and insulting. If I were to say that people who put animals before people are untrustworthy I would be pounced on. I fully accept that people love their dogs. It's just not for me.

Hetty58 Fri 11-Aug-23 09:40:57

Both, I'd say - and cats too. I can't imagine life without a little menagerie of creatures to care for. I've always kept them, since being a very small child. I'm very fond of my garden, houseplants and local wildlife too, so flora and fauna. I feed the birds, water the street trees and so on. The need to nurture things is very strong in most of us, surely?

If all their needs are all met, I'm sure that dogs don't mind being substitute children. What's the harm if they're well trained and not a nuisance. My four kids are grown - but I have the little dog.

She just loves being pampered and I will get a pushchair, but not because she needs it - I do. Sometimes I'll want to pop in a 'no dogs' shop, I won't leave her outside - but people never demand to see the contents of your pushchair!

henetha Fri 11-Aug-23 10:03:37

What's good is that there is more choice these days. When I was young there was the expectation that you would have babies, whether or not you were keen. (I was quite keen, as it happens).
The pressure has gone now and if people prefer not to then that's fine. And if you want dogs instead, or as well, then that's fine too. I'm all for choices.

Fleurpepper Fri 11-Aug-23 10:04:34

Exactly, thanks henetha.

SachaMac Fri 11-Aug-23 10:06:25

I have and love both, my AC and GC of course come first but I adore my dog. We have never treated any of our dogs like babies, they know their place but have all been much loved members of the family. My dog is clever, fun, patient, intuitive & a loyal companion. He worships the GC who have been brought up to respect and treat him kindly. It’s a mutual trust that I hope is never broken.

Jzpap Fri 11-Aug-23 11:50:20

I adore my children and my grandchildren. Apart from them I prefer dogs. Our whole family has a mixture of both and I know they all feel the same. Never met a dog I didn’t like.

HeavenLeigh Fri 11-Aug-23 12:02:20

Well I can only say I love my pets all equally I wouldn’t have had them if I didn’t! They are part of the family! But my children are not loved in the same way as I love my pets it’s completely different kind of love. I do not treat any of my pets like children, I respect them as beautiful animals , I also do not call them my furbabies I can’t stand that word 🤣🤣🤣