Dogs or Children?

I wonder if it has to be so either/or? I hope we have room in our world for different views and opinions.

And I do wonder if some people nowadays are idealising both children and dogs?

Poor behaviour from children or dogs, and their parents or owners (paw-rents!) can be totally off putting.

I think the question originally was about people opting to be child free but having a pet. Not about putting your pet ahead of your child in your affections.
There still seems to be a current of 'why would you not have children ' as though it's a given.

I feel it is so sad that some women, like the journalists mentioned here, who decided not to have children feel the need to disparge women who do have children.

To me the decision to have or not have children should be a private affair and making nasty comments about those who chose the opposite course just doesn't seem nice to me.

As to the other point that now these voluntary childless women mentioned in OP's post seem to be treating their pets like children, well a lot of people are doing this.

Whether it is an outlet for the affection they otherwise would have given children I really cannot say, not knowing the women in question personally.

I have always felt that people whether adults or children are people and animals, whether pets or working animals are animals, so I become uncomfortable when I am forced to be in company with those that treat their pets as children.

I try not to show my dislike of this attitude, as there again I feel it is unkind to comment on the choices others make, so long as they are neither illegal nor harmful.

Dogs or animals in general really. I knew at 17 years old that I never wanted children. I even asked my GP if I could be sterilised. I 'tolerate' people but don't really like them.

Well I hope they chose to rescue dogs from shelters rather than encourage yet more breeding of dogs. And of course it's entirely up to them to remain childless if they choose but it's very rude of them to criticize people who do have children. Are they scathing of their parents and grandparents for allowing their own birth?

TerriBull

Well we've had our son's and girlfriend's dog with us today and I have to say whilst they're at their respective places of work, he is not the happy soul he usually is around them, in spite of us walking, talking and doing all the necessary, sadly we are definitely the B team I can see the appeal of having such absolute devotion and no mouthy answering back in their teen years. Although mindful of reading Ben Fogle's comment "a dog only breaks your heart once" longevity isn't always on their side. I would never under estimate how much owners love their dog, an emotion that is clearly returned in spades at their best they are wonderful. Even though I'm more of a cat person myself, an animal so perfect, the ancient Egyptians were right to worship them as Gods!

I too am a cat person. I love that cats do not fawn, are self sufficient and perfectly prepared to metaphorically tell you to bog off if they do not like you😂 they can be affectionate but only on their terms. 😂

>I think Liz Jones is the perfect example of this.

She's the perfect example of something, though it isn't something I'd want to be around!

Or the persona she chooses to display in her journalism is. I'm sure she's not really such a pathetically self-centred b*tch. Or someone would have strangled her already.

One thing is for certain: children will perpetuate the human race, dogs won't! Seriously, I can't see how the two things can be compared. I don't mind other people's dogs but don't see how they can be treated as child substitutes.

Is there any question? Dogs 🐶 🐩 🐕

sodapop

I think the question originally was about people opting to be child free but having a pet. Not about putting your pet ahead of your child in your affections.
There still seems to be a current of 'why would you not have children ' as though it's a given.

There still seems to be a current of 'why would you not have children ' as though it's a given.

I think there's a lot of assumptions made about women - not infrequently by other women!

I don't know how many times I've had to feign a delight in 'pamper sessions', spa treatments, weddings (and buying the appropriate outfits for them) - all of which hold no interest for me whatsoever but, because I'm a woman, it's assumed I'd like all of these things.

A couple of my women friends were baffled when I told them that for my 50th birthday (many moons ago now), I wanted my OH to present me with a ticket for a ride in a Formula One car. Which he did, but unfortunately I was ill on the day and couldn't do the ride.

But I did like the 50 red roses he had delivered .

Love my sons and loved being a mum but I couldn’t have imagined life without dogs in it. We’ve had 3 dogs and a cat now sadly dead but I do dog sit for my sons dog. I adore my grandchildren and their dog. You cannot compare children with animals as it’s a very different kind of love.

I could never have imagined my DiL with a dog but she amazed me when she told me she was getting a dog two years ago. My DGC absolutely adore their dog and it’s lovely to see the pleasure they get from having her to cuddle and play with. She’s a very affectionate and lively Cockapoo.

Nannapat1

One thing is for certain: children will perpetuate the human race, dogs won't! Seriously, I can't see how the two things can be compared. I don't mind other people's dogs but don't see how they can be treated as child substitutes.

Not a child substitute Nannapat we are talking about people who choose to remain child free but enjoy having pets.

Maxine16 maybe people will adopt unwanted children to add to their family.

Having been bitten on the face as a child I'm not happy around dogs. I watched the documentary about dangerous dogs last night and I'm even more frightened of the new XL bully breeds.

I wouldn’t die for my dog ….I would die for my children and grandchildren. Is that clear enough!

BazingaGranny

I wonder if it has to be so either/or? I hope we have room in our world for different views and opinions.

And I do wonder if some people nowadays are idealising both children and dogs?

Poor behaviour from children or dogs, and their parents or owners (paw-rents!) can be totally off putting.

Yes!
I think this happens a lot, parents who never say no to their kids and people who think their dog can do what it likes.

Children every time whether they’re in my family or not. I could never harm any animal or tolerate anyone else who harmed one. That is as far as I go. No adults only holidays or restaurants for me but I’m quite happy with dog free zones if only there was enough of them.

Saggi

I wouldn’t die for my dog ….I would die for my children and grandchildren. Is that clear enough!

A good answer and I’d say the same
I do like dogs tho.

I love my Son to bits and my DGS but even though my Son was a fertility baby and I was over the moon to finally get pregnant I knew the moment I’d had him I would never want another child. Dogs though, I could happily have a dozen if I lived alone. I’ve always had 2 at a time, mainly Bichon Frise and a Maltese who I adored but now as we’ve got older sadly 1 dog is easier I find. Even my DGS whom I love to bits knows I much prefer dogs to kids.

Dogs are easier than children!

Germanshepherdsmum

Dogs are easier than children!

... and they don't have toddler temper tantrums, or teenage angst!

Dogs less worry. If I'd had Dogs before children would never have had them.

My stepbrother had a long term girlfriend who swore she would never have children and was animal mad. He was some years younger than her so was happy about that. Some years into the relationship he started to want children and found that it was really important to her. After much discussion, they decided to get married and start a family. Roll on 12 years and they have 2 children and she is the most fantastic mother. She absolutely loves motherhood and is so happy that her husband wanted children after all.
I think you can't possibly know how you can find parenthood until you get there. The most keen to have children aren't always as happy as they thought they'd be!

I have two children . I was told that I probably couldn’t and shouldn’t have children but had them anyway. It took me a long time and was a struggle but so worth it. I also have had one dog in the 44 years since becoming a parent. He was a rescue and I loved him dearly . He died nearly two years ago and I was heartbroken. I’ll never do that again. How people, like my sister in law, have dog after dog, one replacing another, - instead of having children - I”ll never know. It seems like a life sentence of intermittent misery .

hollysteers

There are a couple of female childless journalists on social media who speak witheringly of ‘breeders’ like myself who have children and speak glowingly of their choice to be child free and in fact, almost its superiority.

They both now have dogs and are utterly smitten. Photos abound of their ‘cute’ dogs and photographs (boring) appear almost daily. They are now ‘in love’ with their dogs and their lives are changed,
Am I alone in thinking that this could be the wrong way round?
Not having experienced having children, how do they know for certain (which they stress) they would not have enjoyed and found satisfaction from the experience?
Nothing against dogs BTW.

Perhaps they've experienced close relative's children. I'm aware that other people's children are not the same as one's own, but if one is unsure about having children, then being around a relative's or a close friend's child, could be a powerful decider! I applaud any woman who makes the decision not to follow the 'norm' and so decides not to have children just because it's "expected". Just as some women know in the heart that having children is exactly the right thing for them to do, some women know that having children is exactly the wrong thing for them to do...

Dickens

Germanshepherdsmum

Dogs are easier than children!

... and they don't have toddler temper tantrums, or teenage angst!

Dickens - many dogs have the zoomies when they’re toddlers. My current lab did a Kevin and Perry, went to bed one night a nice well behaved 14 month old, came swaggering down the next morning with a Manc accent and the question - what ‘sit’, ‘come’, down, ‘off’, leave it ….. you never asked me to do these things before
Ok, I fibbed about the Manc accent but teenage rebellion definitely arrived. At least it’s only having to be even clearer about expectations, rather than worry about teenage angst