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Speak out or stay quiet?

(85 Posts)
Oldnproud Thu 17-Aug-23 15:26:30

Imagine that a family you know very well was planning to move house, and after a long time searching, founds a 30 -40 year old property that suited them, offered the asking price and it was accepted. Then well past halfway through the process, you found out by pure chance that bad things have happened there in the past (domestic violence) which led to a suicide. Not inside, but in the garden.

Would you tell them what you had learned or not?

I chose not to say anything, but will add more later.

MayBee70 Fri 18-Aug-23 21:43:25

Callistemon21

^Or an ancient fridge that needs replacing making odd noises^.
Our fridge has always made odd noises from when it was new.
We were reassured that it was normal although no other fridge or freezer has ever made similar noises.
It's a very strange noise.

Or a new fridge. I’m currently house sitting for my daughter and the ice maker in her fridge periodically makes funny noises. Something woke me up with a start the other morning and I think that’s what it was. I stayed here last year when she was having a lot of work done on the house and must admit to feeling really scared because it was the hallway and stairs that was being worked on. It was all cold and echoey. I was once babysitting for someone in an old cottage and heard a man’s voice in the bedroom. It was their clock radio that had turned itself on because there had been a power cut. I’m a bit of a wuss when it comes to being in old houses. I tend to leave lots of lights on!

Wyllow3 Fri 18-Aug-23 21:49:35

I wouldn't tell once contracts had been exchanged and it was a done deal.
If it wasn't and it was close family I have no rational reasons to justify - but would want to tell is all.

But someone above said it would come up in a search? Does that depend on how long ago?

Quichette Sun 20-Aug-23 03:07:36

My Grandparents moved from a very large family property of Louis XIII vintage just outside Paris when I was 12. They moved into a smaller Napoleon I house one metro stop from Paris. It had a lady ghost in a gauzy yellow empire style gown that was encountered going upstairs to the first floor. Everyone except my father would see her occasionally. No sense of threat, though. The house I live in now in the US, built in 1908, which passes for old here, has a lady ghost in the cellar. She stands in front of the house's original stove, an ancient one on legs. As was typical here the stove when replaced was moved to the cellar where it would have been used for cooking and canning during the heat of the summer. She has a gray bun, long dress and a large calicoe bib apron. She may be May Adams, the original mistress of the house, who died here in 1931. Both my daughters and I have seen her, as well as one of my friends. The men of the house have not. Again, completely benign and unthreatening. We are Anglican (The Episcopal Church) and could easily arrange a home blessing, but the presence does no harm and I don't see why she should be chased away. I am not excessively credulous but believe that sometimes a house can retain a sort of echo of the past.

Hetty58 Sun 20-Aug-23 04:46:08

I wouldn't say a thing. 'Bad things' have happened in many houses, after all. Both the older houses we bought had the tell-tale large brown stain on the floorboards where somebody had died. Floors sanded and all is well.

karmalady Sun 20-Aug-23 05:42:12

not just ghosts but walls hold onto vibes and history can repeat itself

Peartree Sun 20-Aug-23 06:46:01

I think that you get a feeling about a place. If you felt uncomfortable when you were looking to buy you wouldnt buy it. No I wouldnt say any thing, sounds like they are happy to buy it. If they find out later then you can say that you had heard rumours but didnt think they would be too bothered.

Nicolenet Sun 20-Aug-23 07:06:32

I would have told them. If it was me buying my dream home I would like to know. What if you can't sell it easily because it gets known in ten twenty years time?

Aldom Sun 20-Aug-23 07:53:12

My next door neighbour and her husband lived happily in their beautiful home. The neighbour had once mentioned that she could never live in a house where someone had taken their own life. What she didn't know was that a former owner of the house had hung himself in the hall.
There were no 'bad vibes' in her lovely home.

M0nica Sun 20-Aug-23 22:14:45

Nicolenet With so many people here saying that they are not bothered by these sorts of events, it is highly unlikely that anyone will have any difficulty selling their house when the event was 20 or more years before.

The previous owner of our house died in the bedroom I sleep in 2 years before we bought it. As it is an old house and for a while was 4 houses, the number of peoplewho have died in it over the years must be in 100s. I am sure there has probably been domestic violence, child cruelty, marital rape and a host of other dastardly domestic dramas in the house over the years. I remain untroubled. It is a happy house because we are happy there.