Is it racism to ask someone where they are from.

It's the really from that makes it offensive I agree Mollygo.

A more acceptable way of showing the same interest would be to ask, "Where is it your family originally came from?"

But for second, third or fourth generation UK citizens that could be equally offensive because the implication is still that you don’t think they’re from the UK.

When I ask an American, on a cruise, they invariably answer with which state they are from. They don’t take offence at my question, whatever colour they are.
If I ask a French person they usually reply generally e.g. the Vendée or Brittany, or even a city like Nantes. It’s the really from that makes it offensive.

It is not racist to ask people where they come from, but it is exceedingly annoying to be asked this question when like me, one still speaks with the slightest of accents after 50 years in a country that uses a language one learned as a young adult. It is not my fault that I do so, as when I moved here there were no language courses for foreigners trying to learn Danish, and no-one over the age of about 12 will ever learn a new language without retaining traces of a "foreign" accent.

I am sure you meant it kindly, unfortunately others do not, so please don't ask it again. A more acceptable way of showing the same interest would be to ask, "Where is it your family originally came from?"

My last message came up with HRT instead of her🤦🏼‍♀️

What about asking, ‘Are you local?’ Or ‘have you always lived around here’.
You can be local without having been born here so it gives the option of answering with whatever information they wish.

Witzend, I wonder if your Uber driver and my tv engineer are one and the same?

If someone very obviously wasn’t brought up in the U.K. (evident from their accent) I don’t see how it’s remotely racist to ask where they’re from.

Very recently we asked an Uber driver just this - he was from Bulgaria and we ended up having a very interesting conversation during the 50 minute drive to the airport.

Of course it isn’t racist to ask where someone is from. They won’t always like the question tho.
I asked a neighbour years ago and she was put out as she’d lived in the UK since she was 17.She still had an East European accent which everybody bar her noticed.😄

I have lived in England for many years and during that time I don't think I have altered my accent. I have quite often been asked where I'm from.

Some people ask if I'm from Northern Ireland. I have never even visited NI.

Some people assume I'm from Edinburgh and I realise I';m supposed to take this as a compliment - but I don't.

I am a Glaswegian and have quite a normal Glaswegian accent - not like Billy Connolly or Rab C Nesbit, but quite normal for a Glaswegian.

I don'y mind being asked where I come from.

I live in an area that many people move to in retirement so it is a question often asked here.
I hope that I don’t ask in a way that anyone would find offensive. I don’t think I have upset anyone yet.
There was a woman that came into my salon, one day HRT therapist was away so I treated her.
She asked me if I was local and when I said I was brought up in HK she asked me if I went to school there. Turns out she was in the year below me at both junior and senior school and her dad worked with my dad.
As soon as we told each other our maiden names we looked at each other and agreed that neither of us had changed a bit😂
Sometimes it good to ask.

Honestly, it's not rocket science is it? It's a human trait to show interest in others. I've worked with refugees from many different countries and lots of people from different ethnic communities, generally they know if you are genuinely interested in them as people and wish them well. It's OK to make mistakes, it's not OK to judge anyone by the colour of their skin or what you think might be their background. If we are kind and open tbh I don't think you can go far wrong. The comment that makes my heart sink is "I'm not racist but" because it is often followed by something that is "unpleasant". If you don't have racist thoughts there's no need to qualify anything that you say or think.

I agree with VS

In itself, it is not racist but depending on the context, it could be problematic

As for complementing the English speaking ability - it is hairy and also depending on the circumstances

I swear if anybody compliments me on my English again, i am going to question if they are complimenting me on my mental capacity for learning

I am not the only one who feels this way, my friends also wonder about it and chuckle when they get asked

We were in Whistler earlier this summer and it seemed all the tourism workers were from overseas. We had a lovely waiter for a nice dinner out, and I couldn't place his accent (thinking somewhere in UK). It turned out he was Australian, but had been here for a few years. He said he was asked quite often.

I don't think it is racist at all, showing an interest in where someone is from.

That lady in waiting, and the media repetition of it did us no favour.
On a cruise the first few days are spent asking and answering questions about where you are from.
In France last month, the first question at reception after greeting us was, “Where are you from?”
When we visited Puy du Fou, people we met asked my DD and I where we were from (and they thought we were French). When we said that we were from England, they asked where we were really from?

I asked a tv engineer, who was sorting out a wiring problem in my house, where he was from as he had a very strong accent. He said he was Bulgarian, and went on to tell me so many fascinating things about his country, it’s history and culture, the Bulgarian royal family etc., and was obviously pleased someone wanted to hear about it. It turned out that, in his country, he was a dentist.

He did an excellent job with our tv and wiring.

An encounter this morning reminded me of this thread. I had a meeting and the Manager was clearly of African origin. We got on very well and I said”I am dying to ask you which country you are from because you sound and look very much much like my friend from Tanzania.” She said she didn’t mind at all and was from the adjoining country of Zambia and she lived right near the border with Tanzania. We had a good chat and she said she is always pleased to tell people about her background.

I think this tying our self up in knots is becoming ridiculous. It’s how something is asked and followed up that is pertinent.
A genuine interest in someone is, in my view, fine.

The glot or tongue we speak with is interesting. I'm English, well half Welsh, and in France I have a strong Breton accent from childhood. When in Paris they can't work out where I'm from. Someone even asked if I were German!
I think curiosity and asking politely is fine.

My new hairdresser had a foreign accent so asked where she was from, her reply, you guess, after several attempts I gave up, it was actually Greece, married to an English guy, each time I go we share stories about holidays.

Call yourself what you like JackyB I m a ‘uniglot’ 😂😂

As a polyglot, I would have been fascinated by the language and would have asked what language they were speaking. Maybe apologised for not recognising it.

(I think I am qualified to call myself a polyglot, hope it doesn't sound like boasting)

BlueBelle

But it’s also how you ask surely, on the whole people like to talk about their home land so it’s about ‘your interest’ more than ‘your questioning’
It’s about thinking before you speak

I agree, it's about showing interest, and not looking down your nose.
Perhaps we should ask a person about their origins because that means their ancestors?

But it’s also how you ask surely, on the whole people like to talk about their home land so it’s about ‘your interest’ more than ‘your questioning’
It’s about thinking before you speak

I moved to the north west from the black country. I always make a point of saying I'm not a Brummie. As I have had lot of people as me if I am. My accent is completely different from a Brummies. But Brummies don't like if they are call black country.

Sue Lawley is from the black country but had to lose her accent to read the news.

I have been asked hundreds of times where I’m from and never felt like not answering. I have been asked what part of Australia I’m from but have never been there in my life.🤣

Common question in Australia is: "Are you from England?" "No, I'm from Wales". "Well, that's in England isn't it?"

Where do you live? could be pointless because I know our window cleaner lives not far away. However, he has an interesting name and accent so I asked him where he was from, he smiled and told me and we had an interesting chat about the country where he was born and brought up.