Child care

Her child does not need to go to a nursery at the age of 2 in order to be able to socialise with others and make friends of her own age, so no, the child will not be deprived by her mother looking after her at home for a year more.

The mother, on the other hand, is depriving herself of an income, which will quite likely mean that no contributions are being made to her pension during the time she stays at home to bring up her child, as no country in Europe equates parents doing so with paid positions re- pensions, social security etc.

The mother will also be hindering her own chances of gaining pay rises in her chosen profession and probably advancement to a more senior position by opting out of the rat-race at work.

So she needs to consider very carefully if she and her husband can afford to deprive themselves of her income, now and in the future.

She also needs to consider whether she really wants to stay at home for a year or whatever time she is considering in the daily company of a toddler and no adults except a tired husband coming home after work each evening.

Staying at home, raising a family was fine in the days when the average household was comprised of more than one adult woman as maiden aunts, umarried sisters or sisters-in-law, ones mother-in-law or own mother or a couple of maids were included in the household around 1900.

Now, no-one lives like that, so staying at home raising a child may well mean that you have only a toddler to talk to for eight hours a day. Hardly the illectual stimulation any woman, however much she loves her child, needs.

It's obviously a silly argument either way. Children haven't changed much through the generations, although how we bring them up has progressed.

I didn't go anywhere (organised or official) before school. Nobody else seemed to either.

My two eldest (boys) started playgroup at 3 yrs old - mainly to give me a break in the morning, as they were so lively - although, as expected, I stayed with them there for a couple of months.

The third child (a girl) was perfectly happy at home until she started school - and the fourth (another girl) seemed a bit bored, so went to nursery, again at three. I was lucky to be at home, with no pressure to send them anywhere before they were ready. In fact, the third one was still having afternoon naps when she started school, so only just managed it - and straight home for a sleep.

I never went to work after I had my children.
The church had Mothers group where members of the Mothers Union looked after the children while us mums had meetings and speakers and discussions.
We lived in London near a park where we went every afternoon no matter what the weather and the children played while us mums discussed and chattered about all kinds of topics.

Very wise words grandtante.

What an attitude to say children will be deprived if they don't attend nursery. Deprived of what? To think of all the generations whose Mum stayed at home to care for them only to rear deprived children/adults. Is that why the world is in such a mess, ruled by generations of the age when they were reared at home, therefore deprived. Surely GNs can sue someone for ruining us by being looked after by a parent when young.
That Mum deserves a pat on the back for doing her job as a mother.

Staying at home, raising a family was fine in the days when the average household was comprised of more than one adult woman as maiden aunts, umarried sisters or sisters-in-law, ones mother-in-law or own mother or a couple of maids were included in the household around 1900

Now, no-one lives like that, so staying at home raising a child may well mean that you have only a toddler to talk to for eight hours a day. Hardly the illectual stimulation any woman, however much she loves her child, needs

We don't have to go back that far to find that the majority of women with babies and small children took a long maternity break in the 1950s, 60s 70. They organised themselves into social groups where they could meet other young women with preschool children, met in each others' homes, hired local premises and formed playgroups for the children, met in the park, the clinic, went on outings together.
There was the NCT, the NHWR, now NWR.

No-one I knew sat at home talking to a toddler all day long.

My generation were mostly stay at home mums.We did so much with our children and mixed with other mums and children .It was great fun.

I was put into nursery at 9 weeks old. This was in 1953 so possibly quite unusual then? Think my mum didn’t like it much but had no choice as she worked.

Woman who stay home to look after their children will receive pension credits if they claim child benefit or child tax credits so will receive a pension.
They don't end up brain dead; I studied for my MSc whilst looking after my sons using the time they were at nursery to study or in the evening when they were in bed. I also saw friends who were also home with their children and had a great time. Whilst they were at school, I was an active member of the PTA which I also enjoyed. Not all of us are worried about the career ladder which I could have climbed had I so desired but my children were where I thought my first priority lay. Maybe that was because my mother worked and we got sent to Boarding School so my priorities were different to others but I certainly wouldn't judge them for their choices.
A friend of mine got her law degree whilst bringing up 4 small boys. Blooming hard work but she was as fulfilled as any working mother.

I could always tell which children went to full time nursery when I was child minding 5/6 yr olds after school. They were better at sharing toys but lacking in basic knowledge of things in the home. Didn't know what many things were called or what they were eg mattress, dustpan, etc

There was very little in the way of nursery care when my children were little. So they were both at home until almost five years old. I don't think they suffered in any way whatsoever.

I worked for the education dept but pregnant women were expected to give notice as pregnancy progressed. About 7-8 months. There was no No job protection then and no maternity pay other than a small sum £20? .
It was impossible to get a part time job later as dh was on shift work, , even shelf stacking not possible.
We had playgroups fir a few hours am or pm but few if any nurseries.
We counted every Penny and managed until the children were older. It wasn’t a choice not to work, but for us, our reality.

In an ideal world the best place for a child under 3 is at home with a caring parent ( not necessarily Mum) my children went to a lovely playgroup one morning each week , The rest of the week was spent with me - then straight into primary school. All three went to school without a backward glance , perfectly happy to say goodbye on their first day . I worked with pre school children for many years in a wonderful nursery school, but chose to stay at home with my own children . I don't regret it !