Why are we so b****y polite?

But in a case like this you are not even making a fuss, you are talking one to one and asking someone to move a bag off a seat so that you can sit down.

British people often confuse politeness with being self effacing and "not making a fuss".

I often see this attitude on Mumsnet when someone says she did not want to cause a disturbance because she had young children with her. To me this is telling young children that its ok to be passive and not stand your ground when someone aggresses against you. Causing "a fuss" never bothered me because most times the other person will cave in. I used to enjoy a bit of conflict. Now I rarely bother because I dont have the headspace for other people and their petty arguments.

No one, least of all the OP, has explained what politeness has to do with not asking someone to move a bag off a seat when people are standing.

I'd have politely asked. And if they didn't speak/understand English, I'd have politely moved the cases/bags so I could sit down!!

Recently when I have travelled on trains the reservations have been shown on digital displays near the windows, so that should stop those who try to claim that the seat wasn't reserved.

Yes. They had left the reservation ticket in place in this case!
They obviously knew!

NotSpaghetti

cc I met a late 50s/early 60s well-dressed British woman on a train a few months ago.
I had pre-booked a seat in the quiet carriage as I had documents to read. When I got to my seat this person was already in it (though had obviously only just got there. A man (also late 50s) was with her. I assumed she had simply got the numbers confused and read the seat number to her asking her politely to move. She firmly settled herself in saying "all the seats are booked and we want to sit down" I pointed out that unfortunately, I had specifically booked a seat as I wanted to sit down too. She wouldn't move and told me "there are plenty of seats elsewhere".

The train was very busy. I doubted there were seats elsewhere to be honest. The person who had booked the man's seat then came along and repeated the "I believe you are sitting in my seat" thing and the seated woman was quite rude to her. Then as if by a magic, a rail employee fought his way along, hoiked them out and took them away.

No need for it.
Just rude.

There is definitely an entitled type who does this sort of thing. Sometimes they remove the revervation slip from the seat and the Railway employee often can't be bothered to do much about it, though I've had success sometimes. If you're holding a reservation ticket you are entitled to the seat, but they often say that the tickets weren't put on the seats when thy sould have been. Why should this make any difference?
It seems to happen most often if you've booked a seat by a table.

That's definitely not nice Jaxie as you are very trapped up there.

Notspaghetti I had a similar type of experience some years ago with my children, then 12 and 14.

They were going by train from Reading to Glasgow to visit their godparents on a slow cross country train, and as the train journey was long I booked them two window seats either side of a table so that they could play card games and both get a view.

When the train drew in, there was a very elderly frail lady sitting in one of their seats I was faced with a dilemma, did I evict this frail lady so that one of my strapping youngsters could take her seat and leave her having to find another one. A guard did say that he could move her, but I didn't feel I could. so DC sat side by side.

Not too big a problem, but I felt that I had been emotionally blackmailed by whoever put this lady on the train, that her frailty would stop whoever had booked and paid for the booking the seat, would feel that to move her would be considered bad form. It still rankles.

I had to ask some American teenagers to stop kicking a football around in a pod on the London Eye. They were quite rude.

Plenty of people do say thank you to shop assistants and, certainly hairdressers, and anyone else they come across who renders a service.

Outside this country, it is a considered a British idiosyncracy that we spend our time going round thanking everybody all the time.

Gingster

I travelled on a bus today (a rare thing for me).
I was fairly surprised (and gladdened) that every single person thanked the driver as they got off. ☺️

This is standard practice in Glasgow, but it’s always, “ Thanks, driver”! I’ve never heard “Thanks, hairdresser”, or, “ Thanks, shop assistant”!

cc I met a late 50s/early 60s well-dressed British woman on a train a few months ago.
I had pre-booked a seat in the quiet carriage as I had documents to read. When I got to my seat this person was already in it (though had obviously only just got there. A man (also late 50s) was with her. I assumed she had simply got the numbers confused and read the seat number to her asking her politely to move. She firmly settled herself in saying "all the seats are booked and we want to sit down" I pointed out that unfortunately, I had specifically booked a seat as I wanted to sit down too. She wouldn't move and told me "there are plenty of seats elsewhere".

The train was very busy. I doubted there were seats elsewhere to be honest. The person who had booked the man's seat then came along and repeated the "I believe you are sitting in my seat" thing and the seated woman was quite rude to her. Then as if by a magic, a rail employee fought his way along, hoiked them out and took them away.

No need for it.
Just rude.

I was on a packed bus recently with my 16 ye old …6foot grandson and my granddaughter 11 …without being told by me they both automatically got up to let older people sit down ….they hardly ever travel by bus ….so I did not expect them to know this courtesy….but they did! Upbringing is everything I think ….I was so proud of them .

Someone mentioned manspreading and this is often a problem, also men stretching their legs straight out under the table on trains so that if you are sitting opposite it is not possible to find a comfortable position for your own legs. I avoid booking seats at a table now if possible

Reading this thread reminded me why I do not use public transport unless absolutely necessary.

I would have asked politely for them to lift the bag from the seat.

Gingster

I travelled on a bus today (a rare thing for me).
I was fairly surprised (and gladdened) that every single person thanked the driver as they got off. ☺️

Yes, they do that where I live and people talk to each other.. it all makes for a very pleasant journey.

I travelled on a bus today (a rare thing for me).
I was fairly surprised (and gladdened) that every single person thanked the driver as they got off. ☺️

There's a hilarious clip on YouTube where a woman on the metro in NYC refuses to move her bag off a seat on a packed train. She doesn't want it on the dirty floor. Eventually the police are called, she continues to refuse and is arrested. The passengers all cheer!

Just for info, whilst there we travelled by boat, steam train, train and lots and lots of trams and walked miles.

Urmstongran

Fleurpepper

Scribbles

I'd ask them politely to move their bags. If they refused or simply didn't respond then I'd put the bags on the floor.

This- I did the very same on Saturday at Lisbon airport.

You said recently you didn’t fly these days FP. 😁

... and the relevance to this thread?!?

I never said I would never ever fly- and will always try to avoid- but once in a blue moon and for 2 weeks- then yes. Relevance to this thread? NONE. We took my widowed 86 year old brother- as it was his dream to go for a very long time

If you think the British are polite, then you want to live in Canada where - sorry’, ‘thank you’ and ‘have a good day’ are on the lips of everyone’s daily conversation….whether to friends or strangers! It’s a nice touch….irrespective whether its heartfelt or not!

MerylStreep

I put my had on the bag and say, do you mind if I move this.
It changes the dynamics completely.

Good idea!

grannybuy

I had to ask someone on a bus to move her knees. She was sitting sideways and taking up half of the other seat, while other people stood. I’ve noticed before that people stand rather than ask for bags to be moved. That’s encouraging people’s thoughtlessness - or selfishness.

Manspreading too. Sat on a train once and the man next to me was an extreme example of this.