Being called a 'Guy'

0ddOne
Not sure if you noticed but this is only a "chat" thread.
Nobody is worrying - we are just ^chatting.

ReadyMeals

As a transgender person myself I'd rather be lumped in as "guys" than have someone assume and get it wrong, to everyone's discomfort. Though I'd be just as happy with "hello people" if "guys" sounds to male-leaning for some.

I read your post with interest .
Do you think it’s right that “guys” is used because you see it as gender neutral so ok even if a group eg women , find it offensive.
I’m just asking you, not being confrontational, I’m just curious.

When I was working our team leader took to sending group emails addressed ‘ hi guys’, ‘ morning guys’ and expected a response or acknowledgment. I didn’t respond and she’d ask me why- my response was ‘the last time I looked I was a gal so I didn’t think the message was for me’. Our emails then came headed ‘morning team’, sometimes you’ve just got to make your point 😀

My builder shows no respect. At my age I’d like to be called Mrs ……. Instead of which he greets me with ‘All right mate.’

i've never thought of guys as implying males; it just sounds friendly and informal to me.
i cannot understand the antipathy at all.
folks is sometimes used, maybe more by northeners, also methodists.
sounds a bit twee to me, but i don't mind it.

I’d rather have a friendly ‘mate’ than being addressed as Mrs, so formal.

Me too GSM, it’s friendly and well-meant.

At least you got waited on! So many times I feel overlooked and unnoticed!

Germanshepherdsmum

I don’t mind ‘guys’ but can’t stand women being called, or calling themselves, ‘girls’.

I totally agree with you. My husband uses this phrase so frequently- not to me I hasten to add, but I find it really annoying

I fully agree with you 100%!

I can understand it more if we're in America because they're obsessed with calling everyone guys over there but we're in England!

''Guy'' isn't my name or my gender! I hate being called it! Even female friends refer to me as ''hi guys'' it drives me nuts!

Some time ago when hubby and I were in a restaurant a waiter comes up and she greets us with HI GUYS! I said to her ''don't take it personally, you really are absolutely lovely, I know it's a thing your boss tells you to greet all your diners with but do I look like a ''guy'' to you?!''

Thankfully she started laughing then apologized! At the time I paying I even gave her a hefty tip as I know she was only just saying what she'd been told to say!

I call my grandchildren Guys. They seem happy with it.

Doesn’t seem to have got to where we were in France. “Bonjour Mesdames” or bonjour tout le monde seemed to be the general greeting.
Hello ladies, sounds OK, but hello everyone sounds weird.
I’m happy with Hi guys.

Mogsmaw

ReadyMeals

As a transgender person myself I'd rather be lumped in as "guys" than have someone assume and get it wrong, to everyone's discomfort. Though I'd be just as happy with "hello people" if "guys" sounds to male-leaning for some.

I read your post with interest .
Do you think it’s right that “guys” is used because you see it as gender neutral so ok even if a group eg women , find it offensive.
I’m just asking you, not being confrontational, I’m just curious.

I set out with the hope not to offend or embarrass anyone. I try to "read the room" before speaking and if I had any clue that one term would be offensive I'd try to use another. Or simply leave it as "hello" if I wasn't sure. Also if anyone gets my gender wrong I tend to just suck it up rather than cause them any embarrassment. I don't want to make my gender issues anyone else's problem. So to answer your question directly I don't see a right or wrong in the situation unless the person knowingly uses an offensive term (we can all think of some), and I doubt whether the waiter had any idea they might be upsetting anyone.

I've been called "mate" before now. Which is worse? On a par I guess. I notice Bradley Walsh calls women "mate" on The Chase.

I’m not really keen on being called “guys”, but what really winds me up is being called “dear”. Makes me feel old and doddery and I find it patronising too.

Working in a secondary school I address classes as 'guys' or eg. 'Year 9' since 'boys and girls' sounds too young. When working in an all girl school I addressed classes as 'girls'. I might use 'guys' to address a mixed group of adults but it would probably depend on their ages. I'm not offended by the expression myself but understand that some women might be. Having worked with teenagers for many years I have picked up some of there language.

their not there! My kids would be horrified. I've been referred to as the grammar police by my daughter!

I don't think the word 'guys' should be used in schools.

Retired65

I don't think the word 'guys' should be used in schools.

What would you prefer?
Children?
Boys and girls? (And those who identify as neither?)
Ladies and gentlemen? (Same proviso)
Year 8/9/20 etc? (What if it’s a mixture?)
Honestly, “Guys” is about as non gender-specific as you can get and the least likely to offend young /most people today.

8/9/10 - clearly no 20

Buffy

My builder shows no respect. At my age I’d like to be called Mrs ……. Instead of which he greets me with ‘All right mate.’

If you call him Mr builder maybe he would call you Mrs …..

My London born and bred grandad often called my granny ‘mate’. It was a term of endearment. They worked together. I liked it.

You’ve reminded me germansheherdsmum, my Londoner Dad often called my mum mate, she didn’t object and I never gave it a thought.

Perhaps students not guys or nothing at all. I always think of 'guys' as being for boys. Google 'Why you should not use the word' guys. '

Retired65

Perhaps students not guys or nothing at all. I always think of 'guys' as being for boys. Google 'Why you should not use the word' guys. '

Whatever Google says,
it still only makes guys offensive if people find it so, and not offensive for those who done find it so.
Just like dear, mate, chuck, hon, love etc.