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Anyone else already hating the wet, dark cold nights

(186 Posts)
Optomistic1 Fri 03-Nov-23 19:39:37

The clocks have only just gone back and I already hate the dark cold and often wet nights. Please tell me I am not alone. The winter seems so long and I need some inspiration about how to get through the next 4/5 months. You’d think I should be used to it by now but I am not!

Maggiemaybe Sat 04-Nov-23 07:52:51

fancythat

Some people used to go abroad for 3 months during winter time.
I dont hear as much about that now.
And of course many couldnt do that.

Yes, my parents used to do it, back in the late 1980s/early 1990s. Off to Spain or Malta and staying in hotels for two or three months. They certainly weren’t well off and used to say it was so cheap they saved money by doing it.

It must be truly awful at this time of year if you haven’t got a warm home and people around you. But I enjoy the run up to Christmas at least with plenty to do, Halloween, Bonfire Night, Light Nights, Christmas markets, etc, as well as settling down to more crafting, reading and the TV. Travelling anywhere can be a pain though, and I hate being on the roads in icy conditions or with rain lashing down. I’m just thankful we no longer have to get up in the dark and set off to work every day, and can usually choose whether we venture out or not.

Maggiemaybe Sat 04-Nov-23 08:01:58

Joseann

Being optimistic .. Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass…It's about learning to dance in the rain.

You’re not wrong, Joseann. But I always feel sorry for the servants in that picture! No doubt they’ll have to dash in and run hot baths for Sir and Madam, and get all their dry clothes laid out, before they get a chance to sort themselves out.

Am I overthinking it? grin

Joseann Sat 04-Nov-23 08:04:53

grin

Witzend Sat 04-Nov-23 08:13:33

I rather like dark and wet. As long as I’ve been out for a walk (in any weather except torrential rain or a blizzard) I like being able to read/knit/cook something unnecessary and indulgent without feeling that I ought to be doing something healthy and virtuous out of doors.

I do enjoy all the seasons though - partial exception for January and February until the spring flowers start coming out - but here there are often nice days then too. A sister visiting from NE coast US in very early January was once amazed to see flowers out - she actually took photos to send to friends at home - and the fact that we were sitting in the sun outside a pub with a 🍷.

BlueBelle Sat 04-Nov-23 08:21:28

Maggiemaybe Gosh I m going to sound a right misery here but Halloween (here anyway because of the storms) was a bit of a non event, everywhere putting on firework shows have now cancelled them through the rain and high winds
It’s just not fun listening to whistling winds when your house is a cold one and the darkness is depressing but hey ho only 6 months to go
I m not a misery and do make the best of it but I get slightly pipped off when the winter lovers moan and groan at one week of summer and rejoice in darkness and cold wind and rain

But I do agree with you about the picture poor servants going to be wet to the bone 😀

M0nica Sat 04-Nov-23 08:25:53

Last night we visited a local large manor house. They have lit up their grounds with all kinds of lighting. Most of the grounds are trees and woodland and this is what was lit and it was absolutely fabulous walking through the gently moving trees watching the play of light on the leaves and branches. Nearer the house they did have some areas lit with dramatic affects of sheets of light across the grass, but it was thelight on the trees that brought me joy.

On the way home, of a whim, we nipped into Waitrose and bought some pizza. It was a cold dark night, with a hint of drizzle, but we opened the front door and the warmth engulfed us.

The perfect entertainement for a winter evening.

LadyGracie Sat 04-Nov-23 08:33:27

I don't like the bare trees and shrubs and get a real lift when new buds appear and spring bulbs poke their shoots through the bare earth.

Doodledog Sat 04-Nov-23 08:38:58

I’m just thankful we no longer have to get up in the dark and set off to work every day, and can usually choose whether we venture out or not.
This is how I feel. When I was working I often got the bus at 7.00, which meant that ice hadn’t melted and nobody had walked on it to churn it up a bit. The walk from my house to the station could be treacherous, and I couldn’t easily take it at my own pace if I wanted to catch the bus. I hated it, particularly as I got older and my knees complained more. One of the best things about retirement is not having to set the alarm, and only going out when you want to.

BlueBelle Sat 04-Nov-23 08:45:39

Perfect Monica but what if you open the door and warmth doesn’t engulf you !!! What if you have kids in a high rise flat with a paraffin heater or you’re squatting or even living on a fairly reasonable wage but you have damp and mould in your house What if you’re in a tent !!
It’s ideal and acceptable if you’re a ‘have it’ family but not for many many others who live depressing lives in winter

BlueBelle Sat 04-Nov-23 08:50:30

Thinking about it I d probably enjoy winter a lot more if I had a kind, caring, loving husband, a nice warm house and plenty of spare cash I could manage the rest 😂😂😂

keepcalmandcavachon Sat 04-Nov-23 08:57:31

I find like Casdon and Witzend , being out and about in the colder months does you the world of good, never without a bobble hat from now on . I also try to cook/read and craft to each season so that seems to keep things 'new and fresh'.
Coming in from a cold afternoon walk when the light is almost gone, making a milky coffee and sitting with a blanket on your knees with a good book-lovely.

MerylStreep Sat 04-Nov-23 08:59:06

Joseann

Being optimistic .. Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass…It's about learning to dance in the rain.

I have that picture and 4 others. I love jacks pictures.

Oldnproud Sat 04-Nov-23 09:42:35

SueDonim

Thinking on it, it’s not so much the darkness as the combination with damp and cold. When we lived in the tropics the days were always about 12 hours day/night, varying maybe by an hour over the seasons such as they are. Going out in darkness into balmy 30C temps is a v different kettle of fish to going out in darkness into 30F temps.

In Scotland we only have about seven hours daylight in midwinter. With the cold, leaden skies and lights on all day, it is depressing. Midsummer, with 18hrs daylight is glorious!

Very true about temperature making a huge difference.
We spent one winter in a different climate, and there was no comparison with here. Going out at on a winter's night was just as pleasant as going out during the day.

What also made a huge difference was that we were living in a built-up area that winter, where there was plenty of light out on the streets even in the middle of the night.
Winter there was a far cry from winter here outside of towns or cities, where outside is dark, cold and muddy (even on the few broken, puddle-strewn pavements that only extend a short distance anyway in our tiny village) and all the many footpaths across the surrounding fields are knee-deep in mud.

Going out in the car after dark through late autumn and winter, even if it has only been parked up for five minutes, means having to first clear steam from the windscreens, or hard frost on colder days/nights.
Then there is the uncertainty of whether we will even be able to safely reach the nearby main road if there is snow, and in recent years knowing that even the main road probably hasn't been cleared or even gritted either.
Just the thought of having to drive on these wet, slippery, unlit roads in the dark, and play Russian roulette with the thousands of potholes that are invisible at night or when filled with rainwater makes me anxious

As for "hunkering down", I find it painful - literally. Sitting for too long brings on all manner of aches and pains in my body, and my restless legs are definitely much worse for it.
I suppose it might be different for those in larger houses, with more space to move about, but not in a small, cramped house!

Oldnproud Sat 04-Nov-23 09:50:58

To add to my (long-winded - sorry!) post above, I want to say that if I had the money to do it, I think I would quite like to spend the winter months living in a large town or city (somewhere like Brighton, maybe?) as I thing that these cold, grey months would be much more pleasant in such places, with well-lit pavements and plenty of night life!

Doodledog Sat 04-Nov-23 10:06:46

BlueBelle

But we don’t all have a cosy nest Karmalady that’s the point isn’t it ? people live in tents, in doorways, older people can’t afford to put the heating on, people can’t always afford hot soup bubbling or the stove or warm clothing. It can be a dark and depressing time for many
I m sure if we all lived in cosy warm houses with a loving family around, it wouldn’t seem so bad but for many it’s a never ending (long) and depressing time
Summer or hot weather lasts about two weeks if we re lucky !

This is very true, and is a disgrace in a first world country, but with respect, that is not a reason for those who do have houses (presumably everyone on here, as we all have internet connections and the time to post) to feel we shouldn't enjoy them.

Growing up so many enjoyable things were spoilt for me by being expected to be grateful for everything. I was always told to remember the starving children, to remember that not everyone got presents at Christmas, that many children didn't go on holiday and so on. It helped nobody.

If we want to do something about the homeless, we can use our votes to make it clear that it should be a priority, we can donate what we can afford to Shelter or Crisis. We can volunteer at centres where people can go to keep warm, or soup kitchens etc.

That shouldn't mean that if we like winter we shouldn't enjoy it, any more than we should feel bad about having a happy Christmas because not everyone is able to do so. It's better than some people are happy than that everyone is miserable, surely?

Barmeyoldbat Sat 04-Nov-23 10:18:57

Well I am quite happy, I love closing the curtains and sitting by the log fire doing whatever. I go out nearly everyday whatever the weather, in fact going out soon and Mr Barmey is off for a run over the soggy fields and tracks

Nanatoone Sat 04-Nov-23 10:27:10

It’s not much fun going out to do the school run at 7.15 am. My arthritis hates the cold. I’ve always preferred the colder months as I don’t do well in the heat but as I’ve got older and am now alone, have found it harder to manage. The constant worry about energy bills is so miserable too.

Sara1954 Sat 04-Nov-23 10:29:54

Monica
That sounds perfect.

nadateturbe Sat 04-Nov-23 10:55:10

BlueBelle

Perfect Monica but what if you open the door and warmth doesn’t engulf you !!! What if you have kids in a high rise flat with a paraffin heater or you’re squatting or even living on a fairly reasonable wage but you have damp and mould in your house What if you’re in a tent !!
It’s ideal and acceptable if you’re a ‘have it’ family but not for many many others who live depressing lives in winter

So true. This is my DD and GC, in spite of all I give them. Mould and damp, I worry about them. The winter is hard for so many.

It's hard to be happy when so many aren't.

M0nica Sat 04-Nov-23 10:59:41

I completely agree with you Doodlebug I find the virtue signalling that some people feel compelled to do anytime anyone speaks of something pleasurable, quite irritating, it shows a perverse pleasure in spoiling other people's lives in a way that sits at odds with their care for other groups of people

Whatis more I suspect that if they were actually to mix and talk to the individuals that make up these vague groups 'the poor', 'the disadvantaged' etc etc , I think they would find, that when these groups become indivdiuals with opinions of their own, many would be appalled that better off people were using them as an excuse to rain on other people's parades.

karmalady Sat 04-Nov-23 11:03:49

`What if` were the very worst of words to bring my patients down mentally. We would do well live in the moment, try it. The pessimistic might actually get a better mindset and perhaps stop using other people`s misfortunes to garner sympathy, which is a very long way from empathy

Doodledog Sat 04-Nov-23 11:33:16

I’m not a particular winter fan, but I would rather be able to talk about how I personally feel about it than have to filter replies through ideas about what others might be experiencing - particularly people who aren’t even on the thread.

It’s the same where husbands are concerned. I know I am lucky to have mine around, and have no issue at all with people saying that they miss theirs, but suggesting that anyone having a good-natured moan (or even a real complaint) should be grateful not to be on her own is controlling at best. Those missing husbands wouldn’t be doing so if they hadn’t had good times when they were around.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 04-Nov-23 11:50:57

I am definitely a summer/heat person.

I find the dark, wet and windy days and night’s depressing, they just seem so relentless .

To lift my mood, I draw the curtains (they are never drawn in spring, summer or beginning of Autumn) light the fire and numerous candles, snuggle on the sofa with a good book or film.

I can cope with the bright sunny crisp autumn/winter days, go for a walk, sometimes along by the sea, the park or just down the road. I think my moods are governed by the colour of the sky.

Maggiemaybe Sat 04-Nov-23 12:13:47

BlueBelle

Maggiemaybe Gosh I m going to sound a right misery here but Halloween (here anyway because of the storms) was a bit of a non event, everywhere putting on firework shows have now cancelled them through the rain and high winds
It’s just not fun listening to whistling winds when your house is a cold one and the darkness is depressing but hey ho only 6 months to go
I m not a misery and do make the best of it but I get slightly pipped off when the winter lovers moan and groan at one week of summer and rejoice in darkness and cold wind and rain

But I do agree with you about the picture poor servants going to be wet to the bone 😀

I did say in my post that It must be truly awful at this time of year if you haven’t got a warm home and people around you, and I have every sympathy with anyone in that position. I’m so sorry if you are. thanks It’s awful that people should have to suffer these conditions in a first world country in the 21st century.

We haven’t been affected by the storms round here and all our events seem to be going ahead. I appreciate that we’ve been fortunate.

Maggiemaybe Sat 04-Nov-23 12:15:41

nadateturbe thanks