Putting babies to sleep in thir cots .

Floradora surely the fact that babies are removed from their mother is ‘something going very wrong in their lives’?

I’m not having a go at you - it is obvious from your post that you went the extra mile for the babies you cared for - but babies know and are attuned to their mother through nine months of pregnancy, even those who have harmed them in utero as described by Calipso, and there is trauma involved in breaking that bond even when it is essential for the baby’s safety.

Like Iam I would never tell foster carers what to do, we have to trust them in their role, but social workers should be there to support, guide and above all provide the correct training to equip them to look after the most vulnerable children in our society. It is an enormous responsibility, as those of you who have done it will of course know only too well.

It depends entirely on the baby. My DS was born feeling unloved and unwanted, he was actually much loved and wanted, but from birth he was unhappy if he wasn't being held or cuddled by some one. If put down and left, even for a few minutes he started hyperventilating and getting obviously stressed and needed to be nursed. I carried him everywhere, lulled him to sleep in my arms, and be came adept at doing everything with one arm with a baby in the other. After a few months thngs gradually improved.

Then I had DD. From day 1 she made it entirely clear that she wa an independent self contained young woman who wasn't over enthusiastic about cuddles but enjoyed just lying by herself, eyes wide open taking in the world. So I would put her in her cot, if she was sleepy she fell asleep, and if not lay there playing and talking to herself.

Neither child has changed much, and they are both over 50, DS is a people person devoted to his family and very tactile. DD is independent and self contained.

Fostered children are very different from children in secure homes, will have had traumatic experiences and may well need the security of constant nursing - as will some children in secure environments. To use an inappropriate aphorism 'horses for courses'

My DH was adored at 6 weeks old in 1962. He was born in a catholic mother and baby home who only allowed him to be picked up to be fed every 4 hours. My MIL told me she had to set an alarm to feed him as he had learnt not to cry as no one came.
Unfortunately, although my in-laws meant well they weren’t physically affectionate and he is still emotionally distant.

My middle son refused to sleep alone . So he fell asleep downstairs with me and when we went to bed we'd pop him into his crib and all was well in the world. He's 31 now, a doctor in an oncology department and I don't think his unusual method of bedtime time did him any harm

*adopted

There is a problem with some babies when they fall asleep in your arms but wake as soon as transferred to cot. There's a short window of opportunity - 10 to 20 minutes after they drop off- to move them. But sometimes they wake after an hour, and finding themselves alone, start crying so the whole process has to be started again!
Recent advice given to my daughters was to put baby in cot when drowsy but not actually asleep and stay nearly till they fell asleep. Doesn't always work!

There are many reasons why a young foster baby may need to be cuddled to sleep but most importantly, comfort is a basic need to new born babies and these babies may have previously missed out on it.