Three and a half years since he died, but Christmas feels so hard ..

I'm so sorry Luckygirl and hope that at some point your memories of all the wonderful years you spent together will, push these upsetting ones to the back of your mind .

(((Hugs))) Luckygirl3

I too am so sorry. It’s very difficult when your last memory of a loved one is not a happy one. People say that in time you just remember the best memories - after almost a quarter of a century I’m still waiting for that to happen, and I know it won’t whilst I still have a functioning memory. This is a very difficult time of year, as is New Year. You are not alone in looking forward to it all being over, whilst trying not to show it. We put on a show but normal life is indeed something to look forward to. 💐

So sorry Luckygirl3. Best Wishes to you .. and a hug xx

So sorry to read how sad you feel. Hopefully you’ll be with family/friends on the Day. Warm wishes x

So sorry Luckygirl - I find this time of year very stressful. I’ve just the las 90 minutes wrapping presents and my shoulders ache …

Just over 3 years for me, but this is the first Christmas I am spending completely alone, as my AC are going to in-laws. I’m OK with it, but I expect to shed a few tears on Christmas Day! I too, just want it to be over so I can get back to my normal routine with all my groups running again. I know exactly what you mean about plodding through “normal” life! It’s the vast expanse of time to fill up when the weather’s rubbish that’s the problem!

Thank you for kind words.

Dempie55 - I am sorry you are spending Christmas on your own, but hope you can settle in and have a comfortable day doing whatever you enjoy. I do know what you mean about rubbish weather - it seems to be never-ending - the wind here is so strong that I cannot walk down the path. Roll on spring.

So sorry Luckygirl sending love and hugs your way.

Lucky 💐🫂

I’m so sorry, Luckygirl.

That is heartbreakingly sad Luckygirl. It must be very hard to shake off those last memories. At least you were with him most of the time and able to comfort him to some extent, hopefully.

There will be many people - me among them - who will be glad to see the end of the Christmas hype where we often feel obliged to put on a happy face so as not to spoil things for others. You are not alone - your feelings will be shared by quite a few others on here I suspect.

During the run up to Christmas day when I feel this sadness, I often sit in the evening with one of Jane Austen's novels with just enough light to read, and some classical music in the background... it has a very soothing effect and re-directs the mind to a more comfortable place.

I remember how tough that period was for yiu Lucky. No wonder you’re finding this Christmas time so hard.
It’s my second without my husband. I’m blessed with adult children abd young grandchildren. I found myself weeping earlier, just because his absence hit me from nowhere
Look after yourself

My DH died three days after Christmas Day 2019 are a long drawn out illness caused by ischeamic heart disease which he ought to the bitter end before giving in to it.
He spent his last two weeks in hospital completely unaware it was Christmas as the lack of oxygen to his brain caused by failing blood supply had caused him to be semi comatose.
The strange thing about it was on Christmas Eve when I visited him in hospital he had suddenly got all his senses back.He was fully compos mentis and the nurses told me he would be going home as soon as possible
When I mentioned this to him he just looked at me as if I had said something completely stupid and replied that he would never get out of this hospital as he was too close to death.The first time he had ever mentioned that word
On Christmas Day we were getting ready to visit him when the hospital rang to say to get there as quick as possible as his condition had suddenly deteriorated.I got there with my son and one of our grandchildren to find him unconscious and unresponsive.I stayed with him till he died three days later.
Every Christmas since has brought back the memories, of relatives coming and going to say their goodbyes, of the priest anointing him and praying and the eventual funeral arrangements etc.
I have spent every Christmas Day since alone, at my own choice.This is to allow my family to celebrate as they wish, they come to see me later in the day and over the next few days as well to share memories of their dad and grandad.Our two great grandchildren are too young to remember but are reminded o him
Death is no respecter of seasons.It will strike at any time.

This will be my 7th Christmas without DH. He died suddenly at the age of 50. He hadn't been ill, it was completely out of the blue. I find the run up to Christmas harder somehow. Not being able to buy the little treats he liked. I'm sure I'm not the only one to discretely cry in the supermarket. I'm very lucky that my (quite happily) unmarried son and I are close and we now go to a restaurant on Christmas day.

Sending love to you all.

Lucky

It will be 40 years on Christmas day since my dear dad died. It seems like only yesterday. My mum lived to 91 spending all those years alone. They had a son after having 3 girls and l had a son so he saw his grandson. He missed out on 5 granddaughters and a great grandson.
This time of year is so sad filled with memories l don't like to wish my life away but roll on the New Year.

I'm so sorry Luckygirl - that was such a sad and hard passing for both of you. This is my 29th Christmas without my husband. He was killed in a road accident when he was 48. This time of family togetherness is so difficult, but it does become less so as time passes - not because you forget, never that, but because over the years you develop a new sense of normality. It's not an easy path to tread and it really is early days for you. Be kind to yourself x

I'm sorry Lucky you are feeling so sad and can't shake off the bad memories.

Dempie too being on your own.

It's just over 3 years since DH died and I miss him.

I wasn't going to bother with a Christmas 🎄 this year because it's only me and I'll go to my son's for the day but I think I want to get the decorations down for old times sake and maybe to remember the lovely times we had together.

I hope you can too Lucky

This time of year is so dark and dreary.

These moving posts have helped me .... it feels wrong to be so bleak when my lovely family are working hard to create a happy celebration for us all. But in a way it is comforting to know that there are many putting on a brave face, not because they are not enjoying the celebrations, or not appreciating what they do have, but because memories always creep in.... good ones and bad ones.
I hope everyone can find some joy and peace over the next week.
I have not put up a tree nor any decorations... I cannot lift them down and plans to do this with GC fell through because of sore throats and snotty noses. Maybe next year ....

Thinking of all of you who have sad memories at Christmas.

Its so hard, losing someone you love, nothing prepares you for it. 💐

It's coming up to 5 years since I lost dh. I know people advise to treasure your memories but to me I sometimes wish I didn't remember, the pain just gets too much that he's not here in the present. I know I'm fortunate and will be with family on Christmas day, my thoughts are with everyone who is mourning and hope we all find some peace and happiness over this difficult time.

I find christmas hard,,the death of my first daughter 45 years ago in November, death of my secoond daughter on the anniversaŕy of my dads death 3rd january ,and the loss of my long term partner end of Nòvember 5 years ago,not to death ,but another woman,I think if he had died I would know he died still loving me, his words I dont lovve you anymore still ring in my èars.
My DGD and I will spend Christmas day with a visit from my son and DDil and little DGD, I am blessed with my little family.