Spending the inheritance!

I inherited money from my dad and it’s enabled me to leave my marriage and set up on my own. Something. Couldn’t have done without that money. So for that I thank my dad. I subsequently gave my 3 daughters £5,000 each and helped one daughter with a loan.. I did this as my parents were very generous and I wanted my girls to have the love passed down. Sadly and for reasons I will perhaps never know, 2 off my daughters no longer speak to me.the hurt is very complicated but greatly compounded by the gift. I don’t regret what i did as it was with love, but neither girls gave it back. One didn’t even say thank you.( you can sense my hurt) gave my granddaughter money on her 16th, and will give all my grandchildren money on their 18th birthdays as a legacy from their great grandparents passed down. Money becomes a great tool and a great complication, something I didn’t realise until receiving it!

petra

Norah

Cadenza123 Most think that's a great idea and suggested between £200 - £500 each. I think your idea is lovely, £500 each is nice.

The op disagreed with the amount of money.

I read her desire to give, she thought others amount/number was a bit high. I posted I thought £500 each was lovely.

Norah

Cadenza123 Most think that's a great idea and suggested between £200 - £500 each. I think your idea is lovely, £500 each is nice.

The op disagreed with the amount of money.

If the children aren’t used to that amount of money they will have those lovely memories forever.

Cadenza123 Most think that's a great idea and suggested between £200 - £500 each. I think your idea is lovely, £500 each is nice.

We give our four grandchildren money three or four times a year, paid into their bank accounts for them to do whatever they want with it … we get great pleasure from this and they always send thank you messages - usually a text - but we want them to enjoy themselves
Our two daughters often get “pocket money “,sometimes flowers or chocolates through the post which they tell us not to do but it gives us pleasure ..and they both love flowers and chocolate!, Sons in law get treats too ,mainly a tank full of petrol or gadgets they’ve seen on line ..
Hope we don’t sound overpowering ,we’re just happy to share while we’re still alive!
We enjoy a good lifestyle. and are very content with what we have, we give regularly to charities that mean a lot to us .
We’ve recently updated our LPOA’s and new wills as some relatives have passed away and nephews and nieces are no longer of an age where they need anything from us so we’ve left them out as they’re better off than we are!!
We hope we get to stay in our home for as long as possible , there are health issues but we just get on with life and at 78 and 79 we’re not doing too bad .. but if we can’t manage to stay independent the house will be sold to pay for care home fees , until then we’re doing ok !

Agree spend and enjoy!

So the family are going on a short break to London. I think that's just perfect and, I hope they talk about grandad while they make some wonderful new memories.
When I go, I really won't have much to leave but, I would be more than happy to think that my family were spending any money together.

My lovely aunt left my cousins and I a tidy sum so I gave my grandchildren a four figure lump sum with no conditions but pointed out that they were benefiting because she’d saved and maybe that was a lesson…🤔

I suspect that most of them spent it on ‘necessities’, the younger ones had it saved on their behalf and one, the apple who never fell far from the tree, saved it…as I did when my Taid (granddad) left me £300 in 1975. That was the deposit on our first house which obviously has grown exponentially ever since.

GrannyGravy13

We spend if we want and save if we want, our AC and GC will be pleasantly surprised when we have gone.

I hope they spend their inheritances on whatever brings them joy.

A lovely philosophy, and one I am following for mine.

I inherited 50% of my parents estate which included a property when my Mum died 12 years ago.
I gave £5000 each to my children towards a car, I also arranged a once in a lifetime holiday for our family. I paid for our daughters wedding and gave our son deposit for a flat. But since then I have struggled to spend it as I almost feel it’s not mine.
My husband died 18 months ago and I regret not doing more with it to create memories and add more luxury in our lives.
So I have decided to create more memories with my children and grandchildren, spoil them and do things together at my expense.
Tomorrow off for a spa day with my daughter and in 4 weeks a week in Tenerife with my son.

Hellsbelles - yes hells bells!!!!! £200000, over 10 years ago is a lotta lotta money. Give me a call if you want to know how to spend it 😂

My Mum had 5 DD's. She died many years ago now she split her estate in 6. 1 part for each DD and 1 part to charity. My sister's and I all spent/saved money on different things. We each got a little over £28k so a nice amount but not a huge amount. My eldest sister went on an expensive holiday, bought a newer car and gave her DC £1k each. She has 3 DC. Second eldest sister gave her DC £1k each. She has 3 DC. She saved the rest. Her £24k now worth £35k. My next eldest sister went on holiday with DH and eldest sister and her dh. Gave her 4 DC £1k each. Saved the remainder of £18,500 and now worth £21,250. I paid deposit on a btl house costing £100k. Deposit £25k. I gave my 3 DC £1k each. House now worth £180k with a mortgage of less than £43k left to pay on it. I made £137k and about £100 per month every month over 12 years. My youngest sister paid off her credit card and paid rest off her mortgage. She still has some mortgages left to pay. They were saying they should have bought the house I bought between us then no mortgage would have been needed and my 3 elder sisters all now wish they done that. I'm leaving that house to my 2 DGS's. They will get half each.

I have no intention of wasting my money on care, as I have said before.

Over 20 years ago I inherited from my parents, mainly from the sale of property as they never had any money to spare.
It spurred me on to save seriously as I had finally reached a senior position at work. Once I had a decent cushion, I gave my children most of the inheritance as they could benefit from it more than I could. I don’t spend much, holidays in UK and sorting the house. If I need care they may not inherit any more from me - who knows?

If only we knew how long we had ahead and what was ahead...that would make spending on family holidays etc a much easier decision.
I wish National Insurance payments increased to cover care in later life so that worry of how to pay future care home bills were removed. I also think the payment should include current pensioners. Probably not popular but it should be a consideration for the future.

Same here Witzend. I have a good life but no desire for expensive holidays (wouldn’t put my dog in kennels) or designer clothes (I live a quiet life in the country). I enjoy good, but not extravagant, food and spending on the home, garden and feeding the birds (and my dog of course, who is very fussy!). A simple lifestyle suits me very well after years of commuting and being at clients’ beck and call, and it pleases me to think that I will leave a worthwhile inheritance to my son. The only problem will be insisting that he spends it.

If I suddenly came into money now, I don't know what I would do with it. I don't need anything, and no longer really want anything either. We are currently working through the house doing it up, so I would carry on with that, but otherwise, I can't think of anything I'd spend it on. As I've never been one for looking for things to buy for the sake of buying something, I would probably give it to my children, who are at the 'nesting' stage of life, and have more calls on their money than I do. They'll get whatever we have left when we go anyway, but as others have said, that may be nothing if we need care.

I inherited from my parents. Not a fortune but more than many.

I really wish they had spent more on the things they loved, travel, theatre, concerts, partying...

Instead they were "careful" because they didn't "need" anything.
They both died early 70s.
Retired just 4 years.

The older I get, the less I want ‘stuff’ or a lot of expensive holidays. I like to think of leaving a good inheritance to dds and Gdcs.

I well remember my mother at a similar age, when we would urge her to spend her money and enjoy herself - she would often say that there was nothing she really wanted. ‘I’m only saving it for you lot.’

I feel much the same now. I do have what I want, but my wants are pretty modest now - I have no desire to ‘splurge’.

Ohhh i think what the heck, have a damn good spend and enjoy,who knows what's round life's corner

You spend the inheritance how you like. I hope they all enjoy it.

I give my children money, both got a reasonable sum last year which they’re using in their businesses.
Otherwise I’m spending their inheritance to supplement my pension - a much needed gardener for example

We often give our adult children money, I would rather see them enjoy it whilst I’m alive and love to take the whole family on holidays. Providing we don’t have to pay for care there will be a house to sell when we’ve gone.

I inherited money from my dad. I bought a small house and then took my daughter and granddaughter on a legacy vacation. I called it legacy because it was three generations of just us women. We went to Biltmore in North Carolina (I'm US) and I did not even look at what was being spent. I bought clothes for both--my daughter will not spend a decent sum on work clothes. I mean she dresses fine, but she works in a prestigious university and needed to up her fashion game some. I bought my granddaughter clothes my daughter was always more frugal about. We stayed at the fancy on grounds hotel, ate in the formal dinning room (had to dress formal too), my kid went to the spa while I went to the petting zoo and playgrounds with my GD. Everything we did was on the grounds so they have buses that take people to and from. My GD thought that was the best thing ever. We had the most amazing time, and times when I needed a break, my two girls had some much needed mommy/daughter time. The total was about $6000 US and worth every penny. I think it's more important to build memories of time together than to worry about who inherits what or what they spend money on. My GD might not remember the trip much because of her age, but my daughter will and there's tons of pictures.