For the last two years, my son, his ex, and their son and I have lived together on a property in Southern California with two buildings - a main house and an addition which has a half bath but no kitchen. So my ex DIL lives and works in there while my son and I live in the main house and their son goes back and forth. She shares the main house’s kitchen and shower. I pay the mortgage since they don’t have the funds. The living together was basically out of financial necessity but we all felt it was also good for my DGS not to be shuttled between two houses. Quite abruptly my ex-DIL has decided she and DGS need to move out and find a separate apartment. Part of this decision involves a school they would like him to attend. I knew this situation couldn’t last forever but didn’t expect this so soon. Neither did my son. For example, two months ago she needed to travel to New York to attend a funeral and we mutually decided I’d go along and we’d bring DGS and we could expose him to all the Christmas activities and theater there. We had a lovely time. So now I have whiplash - I feel as if a switch was flipped. Obviously I’m struggling with the changes to come but I know I have no choice. This decision of hers forces my son and me to sell this house since it’s too big and too expensive for just the two of us. I understand her need for autonomy but am having difficulty dealing with her behavior. She will barely speak to me, she’s holing up in her quarters - often sequestered with DGS - not eating the food that I prepare when there’s plenty of all of us. I know I need to keep a positive rapport because I don’t want to lose contact with DGS - he’s my only GC and my husband is dead, I’ve no siblings. How do I handle this??
