How much do you spend on yourself?

Have been a widow for many years but remember the times when we had to be very cateful how we spent what money we had. Now, if there is something I want, I will spend. I have always spent a lot on the one daughter and one granddaughter, none of which has ever been appreciated, so have tightened the purse strings to all but myself !! At least charities will benefit in the end!!

It's only since I was widowed that any money coming in is all mine. I used to treat DH especially when he was failing. Single malts, his favourite foods, nice toiletries etc. I never thought to spend on myself. I do now and it's not a lot. After bills there is about £150. Not much savings but a sort of cushion if there was an unexpected bill like taxi fares to pay for emergency trips and a hotel for the night. That kind of thing.
I think that at my time of life it's time to enjoy the nice jam, the perfume with shower gel to match, etc.
If I don't treat myself nobody else will that's for sure.
I think that apart from DH, most of what I have given really hasn't been appreciated. Whilst I enjoyed the choosing and the giving at the time there has to be an end to it.

cc i love a bargain.

We had many years when the children were small when all our money went on mortgage and the kids. We never had any money over and with both sets of grandparents living hundreds of miles away, could not afford babysitters so we never went out. I literally watched every penny. Luckily we lived in a fairly affluent area so jumble sales were fantastic. You could fill a black bin liner for 50p and I look at photos of my kids now and remember which jumble sale I bought their T shirts and shorts from. 🤣 had some great bargains with toys too. Britain’s farm set, lego and jigsaws in as new condition and were played with for years by my kids.

I remember one time my Mum came to stay and brought two new jumpers for me. She said she bought them on the market. I was so grateful that I had to go out of the room quickly as I could feel myself welling up! It was so long since I had anything brand new.

I therefore reckon I deserve to buy myself whatever I like now that we are better off financially.

Hair cut & colour every 6 weeks,stuff for the garden,gas,coffee out with friends & GRANDCHILDREN plus my children.Also
prescriptions !

We have seperate bank accounts. I feel I spend too much on myself. I have an expensive hobby - sewing and fabric is expensive. I don’t buy clothes (other than underwear, swimwear and occasionally pyjamas) these days because I prefer to wear what I’ve made. I love being able to make the styles I like in a carefully chosen fabric that is ‘just right’. If I want something else (skincare, shoes etc), I will buy it, but I hate paying full price, so I rarely buy without a decent discount.

Romola

I find this thread intrusive. I wouldn't tell anyone, except my late DH, how much I spend on myself.

Why are you responding to this thread then? It's not intrusive in your life if you don’t engage. 🤷‍♀️

Have just asked DH what I spend on myself.

He says ‘Your swimming membership at local pool/gym.’

£26 a month.

That’s about it.

I’m a cheap date.

when I was thinking about what I spend I included train fares, entrances to exhibitions,coffees and lunches with friends, any courses I go to, theatre tickets, hair, perfume, art equipment.. so that doesn't include clothes and shoes.. it's amazing how it can add up.

Stella14

We have seperate bank accounts. I feel I spend too much on myself. I have an expensive hobby - sewing and fabric is expensive. I don’t buy clothes (other than underwear, swimwear and occasionally pyjamas) these days because I prefer to wear what I’ve made. I love being able to make the styles I like in a carefully chosen fabric that is ‘just right’. If I want something else (skincare, shoes etc), I will buy it, but I hate paying full price, so I rarely buy without a decent discount.

I would love to be able to make my own clothes. You are really clever!

When my kids were small I saw some lovely pale pink cotton fabric with black squiggle design. I took a pattern off a pair of pull on red cotton trousers I had worn to death. I got my machine out and made them and first time I wore them out I overheard some girls saying they loved my trousers and I felt really proud. Good job they didn’t examine the sewing! 😝

Primrose53

I was very surprised to find that one of my married nieces has a Stash of savings that she calls her “running away fund”. She and her husband, who is very nice and quiet and caring have a joint bank account but she syphons off some money each month to save herself and it is all top secret.

Her sister told me this and says she knows several other young Mums who do this. News to me.

It is important I think that women have their own account, perhaps not for running away, but to be able to support themselves for at least 3 months in case anything unforeseen happen, so yes brilliant idea for young mums, particularly if not earning their own money to do this.

lixy

Hair cut once every 6 weeks now as it is very short.
Other than that my spending money goes on mulch, compost and plants - gardening is one of my main hobbies so I count that as spending on myself.

This is similar to me.
A dry cut once every 4-6 weeks. No salon beauty treatments. Ordinary clothing (sales and/or using military discount).
I focus my spending on our home but especially the garden.
We have a modest detached bungalow, savings, our own bank accounts and pocket money.
My DH has daily Amazon packages arriving in a daily basis.
Best of all we have my parents, daughters, their husbands and grandchildren and another due in the early autumn.
I never anticipated this wonderful life.

grandtanteJE65

I surprises me that many of you sound as if you only have joint accounts with your spouses.

If this is the case, will you please all open a personal acount and get your husband or wife to do the same, and make sure that money goes into them each month.

Joint accounts are frozen upon the death of either holder and not re-opened again until probate has been granted.

So the survivor in a marriage will find her- or himself with no money at all upon the death of her/his spouse.

And if you only have joint accounts or if bills are paid from a joint account, there is nothing your bank can do to help you, as it is a legal requirement that a deceased person's accounts are frozen immediately and not re-opened until probate has been granted.

This is not correct grandtante, (undskyld jeg modsiger dig, men) a single account is frozen immediately, but a joint account automatically belongs to the surviving member. I have sadly been there twice so know this for a fact.

Certainly when my mother died 11 years ago we were happy to have had a joint account with her which made dealing with her affairs much easier.

Primrose I had a running away account, money which I had saved years before meeting my dh. I kept it til about 10 years ago when I was capable of running, but these days I don’t have the energy so it’s incorporated into our joint current account.

Always had joint financial accounts. DH when retired was obsessed with woodworking (had always been a great DIYer) and that's what the spent money on. I do crafts and choir. Not much on clothes but admit I can get carried away on shoes. Now its all garden and house maintenance that seems to be my main spends. Never had any issues on who spent what, we shared everything for 55 years.

silverlining48

Primrose I had a running away account, money which I had saved years before meeting my dh. I kept it til about 10 years ago when I was capable of running, but these days I don’t have the energy so it’s incorporated into our joint current account.

Aww, it came in useful then! 👍

We’ve had a joint account since we got engaged. We’ve never argued about mainly because all our money went on the mortgage or our kids. Now they’re all grown up we’ve had extra cash which we’ve saved for the last 5 years after our dd graduated from uni. My oh retired 5 years ago also, but took a part time job which we saved. I’m about to reduce my hours at work for my last year before I retire. I think each couple needs to agree, how to manage their finances. My OH doesn’t have many outgoings except his car, as he loves premium cars, he never questions what I buy. My biggest outgoing nowadays is for my grandkids.

grannyactivist
That was me just before Covid hit , my treatment plan was £10k !
Rather that then the lose of teeth .
My treatment course was over a 2 year period during our lockdown .
Good luck btw 👌

We’ve recently moved - downsized but unfortunately is was from north to south so no financial gain there ! Most of our money is being spent on the house ….
We’ve been married 42 years and have had one joint account we use for bills - just putting in an average of our yearly bills in each month - this has worked perfectly. Our other account is also joint . DH has only ever bought tools …. though he now has a boat and that is fiercely expensive ! I sail with him so can’t really complain…. He has no interest in clothes so if he’s looking a bit threadbare I’ll get him something .
Since retiring I spend very little on myself - I can’t find a decent hairdresser so cut my own hair (it’s very forgiving ) and I’m lucky that it doesn’t need colouring . I barely wear make up but it’s cheap stuff now if I do - I do spend on a good sun cream but I get my skin care from ‘The Ordinary’ which is super cheap and wonderful. I do a couple of classes a week - and coffee with new friends - occasional meals out - never go to the pub but do go to folk events nearby, theatre occasionally - I love gardening g but am trying to grow more from seed as I can’t stand all the plastic pots ! I haven’t bought clothes or shoes etc for ages any money would go on outdoor pursuit type clothing as I’m still pretty active . I do like perfume but it’s a bit pointless really …. I may get some on eBay occasionally if I run out . I take my grandkids swimming and for lunch sometimes . Hmm - and I have to admit to a bottle of Prosecco once a week 😊😊🥂🥂

Oh - and teeth 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. Dentists at sooooo expensive and I had to have an implant removed (it spli

Alltogethernow
I have loved reading the responses to your post . It varies on how much I personally spend , hair /high lights every 6 weeks , I refuse to get my nails done regularly now as I feel £30/£40 is far too much .Until recently I always shopped for clothes in CS’s but have eased off of that for now as I seem to buy things that then go unworn which is a false economy. I love buying for the home & am a keen upcycling queen . I don’t spend too much on make up just replenishing lipstick , mascara & foundation as & when . In an ideal world my choice would be Clarins but I wait for offers . I also have fees for a college course.
Recently, I have declared that we both need to draw out £250 pm rather than keep using cards .
We have a joint account & savings accounts & have regular savings by so going in monthly. The reason for the cash usage was to use on personal things & daily incidentals from the supermarket., not things like petrol which can come from account by card . Last month was the first month we did this & we had nights out three weeks or so on the trot , that’s was hard as my DH was using his cash , at the end of the month I still at £20 in my purse ! Though I went to the supermarket this morning & was happy to use my last cash, it came to £23 lol
It’s all good for us as we both know what’s going I. & going out .
I had a fit a few months ago seeing the amount that was being spent on Coffees & food out . That was the reason for the swap to cash .

I have always managed the finances and paid every single bill from the mortgage to holidays. My oh is a spender and always has been. He likes cash in his pocket at all times and I'm not talking a few pounds he withdraws £100 regularly. I only spend on Hairdresser every 8-12 weeks, a few clothes when required but I do like to visit a nice coffee shop regularly but oh never comes with me. If I hadnt managed the finances for over 40 years we would have been bankrupt and homeless years ago.

I feel a bit embarrassed reading these threads. I'm a spender.
I'm in a very fortunate position I have quite a bit of personal money to spend each month. We do have sperate Bank accounts but the bills come out of mine which is technically the Joint account but DH never uses it, he just pays into it.
If I see something I want /fancy I just get it. I don't just buy /spend money for the sake of it, but I do spend quite a bit compared to many of you.

I spend what I want when I want,no allowance.....some month's more, some less

pascal30

I think £250 is quite modest.. I certainly spend more than that but mainly on painting activities and exhibitions

Are you kidding ? I feel guilty is I spend £10 a month on books for my kindle . I buy no make up , magazines or coffees out . I look for bargain offers for Kindle Unlimited and Readly where I can read all the magazines and newspapers I would ever want . We each get £30 a month in our clothes accounts and mine is sitting several hundred pounds in the black .