How much do you spend on yourself?

It depends what we call essentials and what are considered luxuries.

Like you we have joint accounts for monthly shopping, holidays, car etc. my DH has £300 a month to spend on what he likes, mainly his computing hobbies. I have more because I attend several classes at a local centre and have piano lessons. Once these are paid I have £200 a month for clothes and shoes, lunch with friends. I think you should both have whatever you can afford to enjoy your life. It's important that you both have some independence financially. £250 sounds fine to me.

I always spend far more on other people, especially family, than I do on myself each month, but I don’t go without! I do have an expensive hobby that I indulge in occasionally!

23grandtante
Santander did not freeze our joint account when my DH died. They did however freeze his personal account but luckily we still had enough to manage my finances between the joint and my own account. They didn't even ask for probate around the personal account in the end just the death cert. and a copy of our marriage cert.

We have known each other for 30 years, lived together for 25 and have separate accounts, pensions, savings! Other half gives me housekeeping to cover his share of bills but I pay more as my pensions are more! He has stopped drinking and his bank balance as soared! I bought no new clothes last year through choice, my wardrobes are full ! We run our own cars ! Pay our own holidays jointly or separately depending on who is going where and with whom! ! I spend more as I do more socially plus hairdresser every six weeks, facial every six weeks, we might eat out once a month depends how we feel ! As we have our own money we don’t question who spends what and it works fine! We own a house together as well so go halves on new items , decorating! Feel very lucky in many ways !

Alltogethernow, if your own pensions were to go into your personal bank account and from there you transfer into your joint account your share to cover bills, holidays, food, car etc., will the balance left in your personal bank account be more than £250?

If the answer is yes, maybe it is time to veto your husband and change the financial arrangement.

We have separate accounts. My name is on my husband bank accounts but I do not touch it. I have my own current and savings account.

My husband has always been a smoker. As the cost of his addiction (hobby) keeps increasing, I have decided to spend on some new clothes. At least I will have something to show for my money rather than it going up in smoke. He has been advised to stop smoking but now it is imperative as he has had a TIA and it could be a stroke next.

We shared everything from the day we were married. He gave me the cheque book and asked me to run the finances in our joint account. Only much later in life did we get an account each, when I realised that it would make things easier when one of us became widowed. I also persuaded him to get his own credit card

Re the joint account when I was widowed, I transferred everything into my own account. It is what the bank wanted. We all need access to money, sometimes when we least expect it. I was suddenly widowed and immediately there are so many things to pay for wrt the certificates, funeral, wake etc.

We have 2 joint accounts. One is for my husband's use with my name on as well and the other is for my use has his name on it. My account has his company pension paid in and from which all the direct debits for bills are taken and from which the credit card bills are taken as well. So thats the busy account. My state and company pension is paid in there as well, but I keep a note of "my" money separate from the house hold bills money.

The other joint account has my husbands state pension paid in and any other ad hoc payments he receives.

Our personal outgoings are small now. I should think 100.00 per month over the year is what I spend on me. Hair cuts, lunches, coffees, clothes ...very few now..., national trust and a local garden annual membership, books and other small stuff.
If we had to pay for holidays , new white goods and large price items we would pay half each from our "own" money. It suits us.

He has shares as do I. And they are bought/sold etc at our own individual decision.

So we do have a healthy balance but the future healthwise is very uncertain. It could be all eaten into should care be needed.
If the future were not so uncertain...or if we had more future ahead, we might deal with finances differently.
Interesting what other couple or individuals do.
What I hate to hear is the phrase "spending ing the kids inheritance" often from people who have benefited from an inheritance from their own parents...who didnt spend it!!

Lots of things annoy me these days!!

Thinking about this thread all day yesterday and came to the conclusion it was in really bad taste to mentions sums of money you are free to spend on trivial things when so many are just scraping along as best they can . Food , electricity and gas have all gone up and many are finding it a struggle to eat healthy meals on the budget they have .