Tales about "stingy" guests and hosts.

When we lived in Germany we were invited to someone’s home for the evening (a colleague who seemed very keen for us to go). We were both convinced that the word “essen” (to eat) was mentioned! We arrived at the agreed time, with a bottle of wine, a few beers and flowers. And proceeded to sit there making small talk for a couple of hours on chairs arranged around a coffee table bearing a little bowl of salted peanuts. No other food was offered and no further drinks once the four of us had finished the beer and wine we brought. We started to think we’d misunderstood and were all going to go out for a meal, but no. When our glasses had stayed empty for a while and it became obvious we weren’t going to get the peanut bowl refilled, we thanked them and left, off in desperate search of food. We did wonder whether we’d actually even have been offered a drink if we hadn’t taken it with us!

You were very unlucky Maggie. We have had some splendid hospitality over the years in Germany, mostly from friends or family but sometimes from strangers.
Once an elderly couple took us to their home for the night because we had missed the last bus.
Next morning after breakfast they drove us back to the main station in time to get the train to the ferry back to the uk.
We kept in touch until they died. We were foreign, young and scruffy having travelled all day from Bavaria, but they didn’t hesitate.

I was obviously a dreadful hostess yesterday. I'd asked a neighbour to pop round for a cup of coffee and a wee chat yesterday afternoon. No big deal. Just a blether. However, she arrived round with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Must have cost a fortune. I hadn't got anything special in for tea or anything. I made her coffee and offered her biscuits but she declined. We had a lovely long chat session and she left after a couple of hours. I was mortified. I could so easily have got in a fabulous afternoon tea but I really didn't think it was that kind of event. I feel I should have given her flowers back!

Oh Aveline, she would surely have been offended if you have the lovely flowers back. It seems you had a good chat.
Why not invite her for tea another time.

Aveline a thank you card to say how much you enjoyed her company is probably sufficient.

Next time though...

……..If you had offered the flowers back …..typo

But Aveline there is really no greater gift that we can offer than our attention and time.. If you've made a new friend that is lovely..next time you can offer cakes maybe..

I texted her to thank her and to apologise for the stingy tea. She laughed it off and said she'd had a great afternoon. She is very polite though.
Next time - the works!!

DD’s Aussie in-laws (he was an accountant which might have some baring on the story!) always shared their food. One order and 2 plates tupe of thing On a road trip with them we stopped for ‘lunch’. I was starving. Really starving. FiL announced ‘I’ll get this’ and returned with a sandwich cut into 4 and 2 extra plates. Guess who ate the 4th. Not me 🤣.
When late DH & I ate out with them on our first Oz visit, they ordered and paid for their food which, by the time we had sorted out our order, they had finished. ‘Oh, ha ha, we wondered what had happened to you!’ DH generous to the enth degree would have paid for them. This went on for years, but luckily we had their measure by then and just paid for our DD and her family while the outlaws did their own thing - a constant embarrassment to their son, our SiL.

I'm surprised, Marmight, Aussies are usually over-generous with food!
Especially the ones of Italian, Greek, Croatian heritage.

Aveline

I texted her to thank her and to apologise for the stingy tea. She laughed it off and said she'd had a great afternoon. She is very polite though.
Next time - the works!!

The problem with keeping cake, bis uits rpetcin just in case someone calls is that, if they don't, we eat it.

Excuse typos.

I was once invited to a bring a dish garden party. The hostess told us to bring paper plates and cups and plastic cutlery. She would provide ice cream and we were to pay £2.50 a head for it. I never eat ice cream so I assumed I would not have to pay
(you can probably guess the next bit). So when the hostess came round to collect the money I reminded her quite politely that I had not eaten any ice cream and she replied "You're not going to get away with it, you still have to pay the full £2.50 for the use of my garden." I'd like to say that I refused to pay but I was so gobsmacked I meekly handed over two and a half quid. I don't think hospitality is a class thing. People from all walks of life can be stingy or hospitable. I always off drinks and biscuits to anyone coming to do work in the house so I do try.

Similar to the above post. We were invited to the 'party' at the cost of £3 a head and to help provide the catering!

Just started reading Lesley Pearce’s autobiography and her older step sister got married, they had the reception at their parents home and all that was provided was marmite sandwiches and no alcohol. Not even a sherry to toast the bride and groom. The parents were comfortably off too. I remembered this thread!

I happily let guests take what's leftover of what they brought and then some. I rather it not be left in my fridge,counter,bar etc. Let whomever enjoy what remains after the gathering

Years ago, I belonged to a Ladies group. The chair lady invited everyone to a social at her home, and provided us with tea and a bit of something to eat, can’t recall what, but it was very simple.

Before we all left, she came round with a money bag and asked everyone for 50p (it was ages ago), as a contribution to the food.

Many members had not brought any money with them.

If she had asked us all to a bring-and-share event, we would have done. Or just offered tea and biscuits. Or not invited us at all.

She and her DH were not hard up either, just rather stingy.

Just remembered another one! An ex neighbour had her second baby and asked me if I would help her plan a christening tea in a local hall.

I did so, making dinky sandwiches, little pastries, cupcakes, setting cups out etc. I also looked after her older child while she had her hair done.

After the christening she called to me as I walked home and said “pop round, I have something for you.” It was the tiniest little bowl you ever saw with a spoonful of jelly looking very lost in it. 🤣🤣🤣

This tale isn't about stinginess but about a very awkward evening nonetheless.

35 years ago I lived in a cul de sac where 2 married couples and I (then a long time divorcee) would take it in turns to host supper parties. We'd been doing this for around 5 years and we all got on like a house on fire.

This particular evening it was Janet and John's turn to host, so the other couple and I duly arrived at their home armed with wine and flowers etc.

Now I should add that it was absolutely the norm at these parties for guests not to wash up after the meal or help prep beforehand. The respective hosts, including me of course, took care of everything when it was their turn and it had been thus for the entire 5 years. There had never been a hint of contention in this regard from any of us.

After this particular meal however (which had been the usual jolly, wine infused affair) Janet suddenly nominated me as designated washer upper. Her husband, John, and the other couple thought she was pulling my leg. But no, she was deadly serious.

So I was relegated to the kitchen surrounded by a mountain of pots, pans, dinner plates, side plates, pudding bowls, wine glasses, coffee cups etc. She showed me where the pan scourers and tea towels were and told me there was plenty of hot water. She also instructed me to put everything away but to ask if I was unsure where things went.

The others retired awkwardly to the sitting room as I began my mammoth task which took ages. In fact I was still washing up as the other couple left to go home. They left much earlier than usual as I'm pretty sure they felt embarrassed.

To this day I have no idea what I did to incur such unpleasantness. I felt so terribly humiliated.

That's awful flappergirl. Did you give up on socialising with them after that?

flappergirl 😱!
And the others just sat there and didn’t say anything? E.g. ‘Come on, you know that’s not how we do things?’

Witzend

flappergirl 😱!
And the others just sat there and didn’t say anything? E.g. ‘Come on, you know that’s not how we do things?’

Or say - "We'll help you"

I'd have said "You are joking, aren't you" then left.

Years ago my daughter’s parents in law joined us for Christmas dinner at my house. They insisted I go to their house the next week on NYD to eat . When they were leaving my house on Christmas Day they confirmed 2pm NYD at their house.

I turned up on time and after 2 hours of chat and a couple of drinks I realised there was no smell of food and they hadn’t ventured near the kitchen. Eventually they asked if I’d like some crisps and dip. I was really hungry and hoped this was going to be nibbles prior to a later dinner.

They both went in the kitchen and closed the door before having a heated argument because they’d forgotten to buy dips. I ate some crisps and walked home for a sandwich 😆

Oh dear! How embarrassing.

Biglouis that’s funny. 😄 my biggest pet peeve is when I’m hosting the family Christmas dinner and 2 of the family members take what they brought home. The same people do this at every family event! Do they think nobody notices? I honestly don’t know how they do not know that taking the food you brought home is not polite and not the right thing to do. Never mind, that we just cooked you a turkey, spare ribs and all of the fixings.