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Tales about "stingy" guests and hosts.

(178 Posts)
biglouis Fri 29-Mar-24 12:48:35

Just read a hilarious thread on Mumsnet about “stingy” hosts. Tales of guests being invited for “lunch” or “dinner” and given something like one baked potato or a quarter of a pizza unheated. Others invited for a meal and then asked for money afterwards! Or guests who bring a bottle or desert and take it home with them.

Have any of you encountered any examples of extreme stinginess as a guest or host?

Here is my contribution.

Many years ago in uni I became friendly with a woman of similar age on an extra curricular course. We decided to meet later that week but she did not want to travel across Manchester to the rough council estate where I lived. Fair enough.

She invited me to her house for the evening. It was a long cold bus journey in December so I was pretty chilled on arrival. When she went to take my coat I told her I would keep it on as the room seemed very cold. She confessed to not having the heating on “when her lodgers were not there”. Large double fronted house in a naice part of the city.

After about 30 minutes when she still hadn’t offered me as much as a cup of tea or coffee I asked for one, mentioning the long cold journey. She brought me some watery coffee in a mug and told me she “hadn’t got so much as a biscuit” in the house.

“Did I come on the wrong night? We did say Wednesday did we not?”
“Yes why do you ask?”
“Well I may only live in Hulme but I would never invite someone round to sit for hours in an unheated room and I would at least offer them a hot drink when they arrived. Probably nibbles too.”
“Oh I can see where you came from. That’s quite a working class custom isn’t it, feeling obliged to offer people food and drink!
“Well I think its more about basic politeness than social class.”
I didn’t mention that I had brought a bottle of wine. I just left it in my bag.

After an hour and a half I asked if she could call me a cab.
“Oh you can afford taxis on a student grant”
“Well I wont be standing at a bus stop again and travelling across Manchester after freezing my ass of for two hours.”

We never met up again. I don’t think she believed she was being rude or inhospitable. I felt sorry for her lodgers.

The course on which we met was assertiveness training!

Allie2 Mon 22-Apr-24 13:51:05

Years ago, I’m talking 30 years ago my parents were flying to Florida. One of my mom’s close friend and her husband were driving to Florida and then they were staying at my parents rental with them as their hosts. My parents did not ask them to pay for any lodging as they were going to be there anyway. I also went along.

The place had a kitchen and a regular sized refrigerator. Both couples decided to buy their own food. My parents stocked up on vegetables and fruit. They also bought chicken, eggs, milk, etc. They noticed that the other couple hardly bought anything.

The next morning, my mom’s friend asked if she could have some other coffee and milk as they forgot to buy it. My mom graciously offered it to them.
They went out for lunch. Come dinner time, they wanted to use the barbecue to cook the huge steak that her husband had bought. But, there was no charcoal in the barber and the propane tank was empty. My mom quietly asked my dad to go and buy it to which my dad replied, “Why should I? We’re not going to use the barbecue.” They were vacationing for 2 weeks. Finally, the guest went out and bought the charcoal and the propane but he didn’t look happy that day.

As the days went on, the other couple ate all of the nice cream my parents bought as well as drank the gallon of wine. My dad went out and bought another gallon and they would continue to drink until it was all gone. This went on for the rest of the week and into the next week. The couple also had the habit of leaving their car on the driveway and letting my dad drive them everywhere.

My parents did not argue with them not call them out. But, lesson learned. From that day onward, my parents travelled alone or with my sister and I. We help each other out and equally pay our fair share. We help with the cooking, car gas, groceries and we have a wonderful trip!

Aveline Mon 22-Apr-24 14:52:31

It's hard to imagine how anyone could be as inconsiderate as those people! Your parents should have been direct with them!