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Empty days

(29 Posts)
Grans25net Sat 30-Mar-24 11:11:09

Hi, I’m new to this group. Recently retired and finding most days just feel empty, like I have no purpose. Any suggestions?

SORES Sat 30-Mar-24 11:31:49

Easter is a time for new beginnings, Spring is on the way, sunshine, lambs, bluebells, bursting hedgerows, baby birds,
at last, as its been a long wet winter OP, many of us are
looking forward to warmer weather and lighter mood/clothes/
food/relationships with others.

Sometimes I feel as though I am in a state of limbo, waiting for something to happen, blaming the rain for inactivity, I doubt you are alone in how you are feeling if this helps, in your period of adjustment and transition.

Most aspects of life are covered here, make yourself at home
and welcome.

Elegran Sat 30-Mar-24 11:50:26

The best idea I can suggest is to join a few hobby groups. That will give a focus to the days when you are going to the meetings, You will meet new people there - some will become new friends, others will be forgotten as soon as you go home, but while you are there you will hear conversation about all kinds of things. There is no need to worry about being committed for ever, as the term is usually only a few weeks long, you are free to stop going at any time if something turns out not to be something you want to do a lot of, but it might prove to be your next obsession!

kittylester Sat 30-Mar-24 11:51:34

Volunteer- it's the best thing if you can find the thing that grabs you.

SORES Sat 30-Mar-24 11:57:24

U3A for groups too, hobbies, crafts, languages,gardening, lunches, waalking, outings, for the retired or semi retired,
the best thing for me when I moved, something for everyone.

Iam64 Sat 30-Mar-24 11:58:46

Find your purpose. For some it’s volunteering, others a new hobby, walking, yoga, Pilates, gardening all work for some.

Cabbie21 Sat 30-Mar-24 12:01:08

Welcome
Some ideas. Join a choir. There are all sorts, from choral societies to Fun Chorus.
See if there are groups run by any of the churches, or WI.
Is there a U3a near you? They run many interest groups.
I do agree that some days can drag, especially if it seems as if everyone else is out enjoying themselves. It isn’t the case. Lots of people live alone with no family nearby.
Someone once said to me, on moving to a new area, Nobody is going to come knocking on your door. You have to make the first move.

Grandmabatty Sat 30-Mar-24 12:09:20

I had a couple of projects when I first retired to get me over the first few months. I decided not to make sudden decisions about classes, courses or volunteering until I had been retired for a while. My daughter had a baby and I have provided childcare two days a week. I then decided to take up art and have enjoyed that immensely, going to classes and workshops. I've made good friends there too. I also meet up with other friends who have already retired for lunch, coffee etc. I decided to learn Spanish online and that's been useful on holiday. I don't have a lot of spare income but I knew I couldn't return to work because I was exhausted by it. Perhaps finding a part time job might suit you? There are many opportunities out there. The university of the third age for example. Charity shops often look for volunteers. I hope you find something to suit you.

AGAA4 Sat 30-Mar-24 12:18:26

If you've only recently retired you may not feel like getting back into commitments yet. All the posters above have given good ideas but you could just get in your car, on a bus or train and explore places you haven't been to. I find it takes up much of an enjoyable day if you stop for lunch.

AreWeThereYet Sat 30-Mar-24 14:27:54

It's hard initially when the structure of your day, which may have been the same for many years, suddenly changes. I was looking forward to the freedom and wasn't quite prepared for how many hours there are when you have nothing planned 😄

First off you could try making a list of all those little jobs you never had time to do/excursions you never had time to take/ people you never had time to see. Take a day or two then start planning and doing the things on your list. Anything you've always wanted to learn? Add it to your list and look for places you can learn it - evening classes or U3A maybe - sewing> cooking? learn a language? history ? archaeology? sky diving? football? Build a new structure into your day.

M0nica Sat 30-Mar-24 14:43:31

Remember that staring a new life and making a new retirement life is going to have its difficult times as well as its easy.

You may not be one of lifes joiners, you may feel shy, you may join things and thn hate them - in which case walk away. But nothing in life is achieved without effort and after a year or two you will find that you gradually have made your self an enjoyable and plasant new life.

HelterSkelter1 Sat 30-Mar-24 15:01:54

There was a very similar post a few weeks back where the OP was just about to retire and needed advice. She received lots of ideas as you have so far.

It would be great if she came back on your post with her ideas and her experience so far.
Dont rush. Take your time. Getting used to a new job takes time...and this is a little like a new job. Lucky you have spring and summer ahead of you.

JamesandJon33 Sat 30-Mar-24 15:06:01

Settle first then look around.
Volunteering, U3a if you have one near. Book club . Depends really on what you liked to do before you retired. Hobbies you have etc. Good luck and ease in slowly

Poppyred Sat 30-Mar-24 15:13:34

Think of it another way. No more having to wake up early for work. Make a cuppa take it up to bed and read the news or whatever takes your fancy. Make a list of what needs doing and another one for the things you want to do. I’ve been retired two and a half years now. I’ve just started helping out at local food bank and just joined an exercise class and have made new friends and loving it. The world is your oyster.

sharon103 Sat 30-Mar-24 15:32:03

Have you an Animal Rescue/ shelter nearby. they usually need volunteers for dog walking or just generally looking after/ cleaning out.
Volunteers for a classroom assistant in schools.
Any volunteering really.
At least you have the better days in front of you instead of being indoors during the boring winter months.
I hope you find something to fill your time.

Chardy Sat 30-Mar-24 16:08:43

sharon103

Have you an Animal Rescue/ shelter nearby. they usually need volunteers for dog walking or just generally looking after/ cleaning out.
Volunteers for a classroom assistant in schools.
Any volunteering really.
At least you have the better days in front of you instead of being indoors during the boring winter months.
I hope you find something to fill your time.

To volunteer with children you'll need a valid DBS (which you may have from when you worked)
Listening to pupils read is lovely. It may lead to offering to be an extra adult on off-site trips.

Chardy Sat 30-Mar-24 16:12:26

HelterSkelter1

There was a very similar post a few weeks back where the OP was just about to retire and needed advice. She received lots of ideas as you have so far.

It would be great if she came back on your post with her ideas and her experience so far.
Dont rush. Take your time. Getting used to a new job takes time...and this is a little like a new job. Lucky you have spring and summer ahead of you.

Was it this one, HelterSkelter1?
www.gransnet.com/forums/legal_and_money/a1332528-Retirement-finishing-work

Glorianny Sat 30-Mar-24 16:26:14

Try out as many things as you can and don't be afraid to decide something isn't for you. You can try things and then just walk away. U3A does offer lots of opportunities for different activities, but there are lots of voluntary things as well. You may find you enjoy something for a few years but then want a change. Remember the things you liked but perhaps never had chance to do when you were younger and see if anyone is offering a group or course in that. Local libraries often have details of things.

BlueBelle Sat 30-Mar-24 16:46:01

Oh voluntary work every time
I hated retirement, living alone and no purpose and for ten years now I ve been doing at least 18/20 hours a week sometimes more if something different crops up

sharon103 Sat 30-Mar-24 19:25:45

Chardy

HelterSkelter1

There was a very similar post a few weeks back where the OP was just about to retire and needed advice. She received lots of ideas as you have so far.

It would be great if she came back on your post with her ideas and her experience so far.
Dont rush. Take your time. Getting used to a new job takes time...and this is a little like a new job. Lucky you have spring and summer ahead of you.

Was it this one, HelterSkelter1?
www.gransnet.com/forums/legal_and_money/a1332528-Retirement-finishing-work

Yes you're right Chardy a DBS is needed.
I had to have one when I volunteered in a care home.

Truffle43 Sat 30-Mar-24 20:24:06

I think advice given is good wait before committing to volunteering, another thing might be good is fostering a dog until a home can be found, there is no cost to this as food and needs are issued. It gets you out of the house and talking to people every day and there is no obligation to keep the dog. This idea is good if you’re fit enough and it would suit your lifestyle.

lixy Sat 30-Mar-24 20:39:36

Absolutely agree that taking time to settle in to a new way of life is a good idea; enjoy your early morning cuppa and read the 'what's on' ads in local publications. Try some things out and, as Glorianny says, don't be afraid to walk away if it isn't right for you.
I enjoy my volunteering roles now but it did take a while to find the right ones.
Welcome to Gransnet too by the way!

Ellylanes1 Sat 30-Mar-24 21:42:19

Firstly welcome, retirement takes a while to get used to, the only 'purpose' is finding your own contentment. Trial and error, once you can pluck up the courage to give new things a try, I found the people far more important than the activity and was very lucky to meet lovely people through volunteering.
I know I felt everyone else had a much more interesting, jolly happy life than I had, but it really isn't true.
You didn't say if you live alone or have family living near, but whatever your situation good luck in finding your new niche.

HelterSkelter1 Sun 31-Mar-24 04:32:43

Yes Chardy it was that thread thank you and the OP had been retired for a few months. She did say that she was going to give the National Women's Register a go. So there's another tip for Grans25net.

henetha Sun 31-Mar-24 10:20:32

I've been retired for 26 years now and am bored with it. I would quite like to go back to work really. Or maybe not grin