In praise of adult children

MissAdventure your daughter sounds wonderful, sorry for your loss.

I have to add as we praise our adult children that mine are not perfect, but I have always deeply appreciated the fact that they have never brought trouble home when living at home, nor since. Even as teenagers they were respectful of me and our home.
There have been no issues with drink, drugs, no arrests or prison, no fraud, no fights, no domestic violence or any abuse in their lives, neither of them are lazy. They've never borrowed money from me, we've had the odd difference of opinion or misunderstanding but no real rows. It's all helped to make my life free of such stresses.

I respect them and am thankful to them so much for it all.

One of my AC fell in love with and married a character whose life experiences was the opposite of what my AC had experienced but no matter, love was to conquer all. Very sadly it did not.

During the marriage, during the divorce and to this very day the rest of my family have amazed and humbled me by their commitment to support and help my AC.

I am so proud of their love and respect for each other.

Thank you all.

Miss Adventure 🌻

MissAdventure

My daughter was exceptionally kind.
She shopped for, and helped the people in the little road where she lived. (Even though they were less than kind to her at times)
She turned her car around and went back to the hospital where we had just spent almost ten hours, because my neighbour was in a panic about catching the bus.
She sponsored animals, children abroad, and contributed a huge amount towards her friends shopping each week.

She never judged anyone, always tried to consider others' feelings or issues, and all of her last texts to me were urging me to try and rest, and apologising for needing help.

She took my mum shopping, gradually doing more and more of it herself, without complaints, for over ten years, and cut mums grass for longer still. She called in to see my mums hairdresser, who was diagnosed with cancer, and ended up taking her for her chemo sessions, although she really didn't even know her that well.

She listened to a nurse who chose to confide in her while she was in hospital, and she tried to help other patients wherever and however she could.

She was funny, and feisty, loved animals, and people.

I couldn't be more proud.

Thank you for telling us - so much kindness.

I know you're so proud of her.

Miss Adventure Norah puts it so very well.

MissAdventure your lovely daughter's story is well worth telling, thank you for sharing it with us all 😊

What a girl you raised MissA.

MissA please continue to feel proud of the fine woman that you raised❤.
On a slightly irreverent note, when my last reached twenty one we had a party in the garden. I let the neighbours know about the event with a note saying " please forgive me celebrating reaching this milestone in my parental journey without the involvement of the criminal justice system, the midwifery services or any rehabilitation establishment- phew!"

Thank you MOnica for starting this thread and for all who have shared their family stories, especially MissAdventure.

MissAdventure
Your post about your amazing daughter brought tears to my eyes
You must be so proud of her x

What a tribute Miss A. To be kind, to care , to see people. I'd take that any day over wealth and prestige.

MissA
What a lovely tribute to your daughter.
I am sure the apple didnt fall far from the tree,you instilled those values,and I am sure led by example.
Sending you a big hug

Great thread MOnica, and lovely stories too.

In our family we have a call code which says ' this is serious and for real'. My DD has used it many times to be rescued from various predicaments. Our DS asks for assistance with DIY fairly often.
I was so pleased when my car broke down in the supermarket carpark and my DD dropped everything to respond to my call code, rescued me and the shopping within the hour.
And DS similarly dropped all plans - he was on his way on to the football pitch at the time unbeknown to me - and came to the rescue of DH when he got stuck cleaning the guttering.

They come up with little thoughtfulnesses every now and then which we greatly appreciate. So lucky to have good relationships in the family.

Husband was ill last year. Daughter who lives nearest dropped everything to spend a whole night in A & E with us. Husband admitted to hospital & both daughters took turns in staying with me/.visiting hospital - so I was not alone for a week until he got home. Fortunately SIL looked after children and both girls arranged to ‘work from my home’ during the day. So supportive

Love parsley3's "We have a family joke that we knew that the children would come in handy one day"

What a lovely thread and lovely stories too. MissA , your daughter is a star and that was a lovely tribute to her.
DH and I are lucky to have a great relationship with our AC and we’re very close . I had to have a minor op in February and my DD came home and worked from home to help care for me.
I’m my DM carer and when we were on holiday in March . Both my AC rang my DM regularly and came to visit on both weekends. They both live in London and don’t have a car there , and got a train and two buses to visit my mum . I was very proud of them.
My brother is a 2 hour drive away and was too busy to visit our mum !!!
My DDs long term relationship broke up a few years ago when we were on holiday again . And my DS really stepped up to comfort his sister when she needed support .

Last October I woke up with a new pain. I have MS and experience pain 24/7, so I look at anything new as possibly being connected, and sit, watch and wait.
By mid-afternoon I'd had several doses of painkillers, nothing was touching this pain and I was in tears because of it.
One call to 111 later, 3hrs waiting for an ambulance, then a call saying an ambulance would be at least another 9hrs(!!!), I bundled myself off (with even more pain meds), doubled over in agony, into the car to attempt to drive to A&E.
After several hours and tests, I was told I had a twisted bowel and needed surgery. "Does anyone know you're here?", "Of course not, I expected to be a few hours and sent home, being told to take some meds or something. I wasn't going to worry my son 200 miles away over something that would probably turn out to be nothing".
My biggest concerns were my car, sitting outside A&E, in a disabled bay (with blue badges), but fully expecting it would get towed sometime the next day, and my dog, at home, alone, and I was looking at being stuck in hospital for several days.
So in the morning (when I knew a call wouldn't panic my son), I called and said I was at the hospital, needed a 'really minor' procedure, would be fine and home in a couple of days, but that I had to tell someone in case they killed me whilst I was on the table, so that a call from the hospital wouldn't be coming completely out of the blue.
I've always played my health issues down for my kids, not wanting to upset them, or let them know exactly how bad things have really been for me, so telling him the procedure was 'really minor' was aimed at doing just that.
I did say I was concerned about the car and dog, and he told me to call his partner (lives within 10 miles of me), and I remembered that be is on my car insurance, so could at least move the car, but he's allergic to my dog, so I knew I had to find some other way of seeing to him.
I called my son's partner about 20mins later, only to find that he already knew where I was, and was told not to worry about the car or dog because my son would 'be here by lunchtime, and we have everything in hand'.
My son doesn't drive, so had to get a bus and 2 trains to get here. Apparently, he put the phone down from me, told his boss that I was in hospital needing surgery, and she told him to "forget work and get your bum down to your mum, she needs you more than we do today".
A few hours later, my son and his partner walked onto the ward to collect the car keys. I'd contacted the kennels, who'd said just to drop the dog off (even if they hadn't got space, they'd have him in the house, I've known them personally and been using their services for 30+years), and we'd settle up when I got home.
My son, said he hadn't believed 'really minor', saying he knows I've played down my health for his benefit all these years, so assumed nothing was 'minor' about this hospital stay.
He stayed down here for the whole time I was in hospital, visiting every day, calling the kennels to check the dog was OK, and didn't go back up to work until he knew I was safely settled back at home, with my dog, and able to look after myself.
Now, some people might say that what he did, wasn't anything unusual, and that they'd expect their kids to do this, but in my case, I've always been extremely, stubbornly independent, and have never expected anything of my kids, especially if I'm telling them everything is simple, minor, nothing to worry about, so for my son to drop everything and come running to my bedside, is unexpected but definitely appreciated.
My other son wasn't even told I was in hospital. He lives less than 10miles from me, but wouldn't even have called or texted to see whether I was alive after my surgery, so I find that if I decide to let him know anything, it's usually after the fact as a kind of notifying him that something has happened, but it's all fixed now.
They're like chalk and cheese. You always know who you'll get a better response from.

What a lovely thread! I’m grateful for all the little things my DD does on a regular basis but here’s a particularly poignant thing she did a couple of years ago. I was struggling with a very stressful time at work and longing to retire but, being a WASPI woman, I was having to work longer than expected. I was about 2 years away from my ‘new’ retirement age of 66 and my DD said that if I wanted to retire ‘early’ i.e. aged 65, she would put a monthly amount into my bank account to help see me through the year until I reached 66. She saw how the stress (and age) were affecting me and said she wanted me to have a rest!

Oh MissA what a wonderful daughter you had. Brought tears to my eyes when halfway through your post I realised that she is no longer here.

We have 2 sons and I thank God every day that we do! They are both very caring (especially with me!) and their partners are like the daughters I never had - I love them to bits. Im very proud of the young men they've turned into, lovely dads who think the world of their partners and children. We help both families as much as we can and they in turn are very caring with us, and help whenever it's needed. They contact either me or DH every day. Luckily, we are both fit and well, so don't need much help (yet). I marvel that we are such a close family, as both my and DH's family are not at all close. Maybe we learned from that, who knows!

I often think.I am so lucky as my 2 adult sons are so kind and thoughtful, especially as there are often threads on GN airing grievances and tales of woe about there DSs & DILs. Thank you for making an ordinary Monday so positive.

M0nica thanks for this lovely thread.
MissA (and others in similar situations). 💐

I’m so grateful for the loving and mutually supportive relationships I have with my adult children, but what really moves me is when they put themselves out for one another. At various times they have given each other cars, large amounts of money, homes - and when needed they’ve taken time out simply to be there for their sisters/brothers.

I must include my beloved daughter-in-law too. She has never begrudged our son’s involvement with the wider family, but instead is just as supportive in her own right. She’s simply a wonderful human being.

One of my children is awaiting test results and we’re praying it turns out not to be serious, but if it is I absolutely know that the family will step up and offer whatever help and support is needed.

Since losing DH my sons who do not live locally undertake any odd jobs I may have . I have been instructed to list them all so that they can choose according to their skills and before either visit I read the list to whoever is visiting and he will go over the tasks in case there is any material, equipment needed for the jobs. Both are very practical; mechanical engineering, structural engineering backgrounds plus computing and chemical engineering. So grateful for their help and, they do it so willingly

Mine is also a moving house story. The initial moving firm who had quoted to move a 3 bed house, were informed there was a lot of stuff in the garage and large shed in the garden, filled the van and left. All the stuff in the garage and shed was abandoned.
#2 son, the only one who lived locally, stepped up to moved everything from the garage, including 2 mobility scooters, into the living room and sent me photos of what was left so I could arrange a man and a van from here, 2 hours away. On the day he also volunteered to help the guys load up...
Earlier last year, after his nanny died, he spent two weeks filling 8 skips with her hoard.