Last October I woke up with a new pain. I have MS and experience pain 24/7, so I look at anything new as possibly being connected, and sit, watch and wait.
By mid-afternoon I'd had several doses of painkillers, nothing was touching this pain and I was in tears because of it.
One call to 111 later, 3hrs waiting for an ambulance, then a call saying an ambulance would be at least another 9hrs(!!!), I bundled myself off (with even more pain meds), doubled over in agony, into the car to attempt to drive to A&E.
After several hours and tests, I was told I had a twisted bowel and needed surgery. "Does anyone know you're here?", "Of course not, I expected to be a few hours and sent home, being told to take some meds or something. I wasn't going to worry my son 200 miles away over something that would probably turn out to be nothing".
My biggest concerns were my car, sitting outside A&E, in a disabled bay (with blue badges), but fully expecting it would get towed sometime the next day, and my dog, at home, alone, and I was looking at being stuck in hospital for several days.
So in the morning (when I knew a call wouldn't panic my son), I called and said I was at the hospital, needed a 'really minor' procedure, would be fine and home in a couple of days, but that I had to tell someone in case they killed me whilst I was on the table, so that a call from the hospital wouldn't be coming completely out of the blue.
I've always played my health issues down for my kids, not wanting to upset them, or let them know exactly how bad things have really been for me, so telling him the procedure was 'really minor' was aimed at doing just that.
I did say I was concerned about the car and dog, and he told me to call his partner (lives within 10 miles of me), and I remembered that be is on my car insurance, so could at least move the car, but he's allergic to my dog, so I knew I had to find some other way of seeing to him.
I called my son's partner about 20mins later, only to find that he already knew where I was, and was told not to worry about the car or dog because my son would 'be here by lunchtime, and we have everything in hand'.
My son doesn't drive, so had to get a bus and 2 trains to get here. Apparently, he put the phone down from me, told his boss that I was in hospital needing surgery, and she told him to "forget work and get your bum down to your mum, she needs you more than we do today".
A few hours later, my son and his partner walked onto the ward to collect the car keys. I'd contacted the kennels, who'd said just to drop the dog off (even if they hadn't got space, they'd have him in the house, I've known them personally and been using their services for 30+years), and we'd settle up when I got home.
My son, said he hadn't believed 'really minor', saying he knows I've played down my health for his benefit all these years, so assumed nothing was 'minor' about this hospital stay.
He stayed down here for the whole time I was in hospital, visiting every day, calling the kennels to check the dog was OK, and didn't go back up to work until he knew I was safely settled back at home, with my dog, and able to look after myself.
Now, some people might say that what he did, wasn't anything unusual, and that they'd expect their kids to do this, but in my case, I've always been extremely, stubbornly independent, and have never expected anything of my kids, especially if I'm telling them everything is simple, minor, nothing to worry about, so for my son to drop everything and come running to my bedside, is unexpected but definitely appreciated.
My other son wasn't even told I was in hospital. He lives less than 10miles from me, but wouldn't even have called or texted to see whether I was alive after my surgery, so I find that if I decide to let him know anything, it's usually after the fact as a kind of notifying him that something has happened, but it's all fixed now.
They're like chalk and cheese. You always know who you'll get a better response from.
