In praise of adult children

MissAdventure, your post made me cry. Your daughter sounds like she was gift

All my children are lovely and kind too and all of them have a lovely sense of humour.

We have just celebrated our golden wedding anniversary.
Last week we spent 4 days in Barcelona with our eldest son and family who live in Dublin. They rented a top floor apartment and my DiL gave us the best bedroom.
They wouldn’t let us pay towards the rental. We ate out a lot- they paid for the expensive restaurants and we paid in the less expensive places and lunches and taxis. We don’t have their disposable income but we did our bit.
Our younger son who lives an hour away invited us to theirs on Saturday the actual day. They took us out for lunch- gave us an expensive bottle of champagne an orchid and had bought a little cake with 5 candles!
Due to difficulties with holiday times we couldn’t manage to all get together.
My cousin who had been a bridesmaid had come up north from Cardiff
What wonderful times we have had- made lovely memories and felt our family had done us proud.
We had a very small wedding and because a lot of our couple friends are now without their spouses and some are scattered all over the country we just wanted a quiet ‘do’
Indeed that’s how it was and I’m so grateful to both sons and their families for making it special.

My husband was taken into hospital few weeks back. My daughter & her partner came and met us there. From that day & for the seventeen days My husband was in hospital My Daughter & partner stayed with me . My daughter drove me the 37 miles to the hospital & back every single day Her partner stayed here working from home . We left the house at 10 every morning & returned home at 9 o clock . The first week My daughter took the week off work after that she took her lap top & worked from the hospital. I couldn't have asked for more help from anyone They were both fantastic. Her partner used to have a cup of tea & dinner ready for when we got home .

These are all lovely.
It's so nice to hear about how supportive families can be to each other.

Lots of stories here of help with moving/furniture and physical tasks. I know mine were - but I just want to raise a glass to our families who are there for us emotionally when life gets so rough.

Thank you too for all your small kindnesses and unsung gifts of genyle love.

These are important and precious to us. We love you.

MissAdventure, I didn’t know that you had lost your darling girl. I’m so sorry. Your post made me cry also, but as others have said, you raised a fine young woman and I’m sure she must have taken after her mum. Sending love 🥰

Both children are brilliant. Some of the really helpful things
Daughter helped me completely redo my garden including a path, and putting up my greenhouse and the raised beds, looks after my chickens when I'm away, will help me with heavy stuff if I need it and did all my shopping during lockdown as she didn't want me to get COVID, took me in when I had a badly broken arm too Son has done so many diy things round the house, and both did great things on the house when I was out of the way at home with a broken arm. Son was my responsible adult when I had a day case op and stayed longer than needed to make sure I was ok. We meet up on a camping holiday and feel so lucky that I can still do that, we do our own things most of the time but do other things together
Son helped so much with clearing out granny and grandmas houses too
Ami gst lots of other things
Couldn't ask for a better pair

Lovely thread M0nica. My first thought was that your holiday home also meant a great deal to your children. They must have had wonderful summers and other special holidays and celebrations there with you, so only right and fitting to pitch in with you both to help bring a very special place you shared as a family to a close. More so of course, with busy lives and families to consider. They also love you and knew you could do with the help.

Neither of my adult kids are perfect but when I visit my daughter and grandkids they treat me and insist I do nothing around the house- sometimes they even pay for me to go away with them for a few days. It is a real pleasure going to stay.

My son works hard and lives with me but he at least tries to be helpful and does some things to help without being asked. He does all the gardening and odd jobs.

He also has to put up with me which can't be easy!

What a great thread.

I needed a suitcase from the attic today. I retrieved it while thinking that ladder and case were a bit heavy and precarious. I made a mental note to myself that the attic has to be cleared because I no longer feel comfortable going up there. The adult children can do it now or later. It will be interesting to see how they decide.

Daughter and 2 sons. Sons have no manual skills. All d.i.y. work in their homes is carried out by their fathers-in-law. On the other hand, my daughter is excellent. When I moved here 20+ years ago, I remember her carrying a sofa all by herself, from the van to my living room. I think she pushed it along the drive and then carried it into the house. And that’s the truth (It was a 2 seater) . I don’t know how she did it. She was about 25 at the time.

Yes, Sasta, you are right, the house does mean a lot to our children and grandchildren, as well as us. Our grandaughter, who helped with the move, is exactly the age DD was when we bought it. My mother died when holidaying there and DS and wife spent their honeymoon there. It will form part of the memories of the family until our DGC are no more.

But what mattered so much to us was that both children recognised, without any prompting that, no matter how good our advance planning, at the end of the day muscle was going to be needed - and we no longer had it.

As it was, we hired a gite very close to the house, the beds in the house had to be dismantled for transport, so we needed to sleep elsewhere, and with so many helping, things got done very quickly so on Easter Sunday we had lunch in the best restaurant in the area, with a chef we have known as long as we have had the house. He then was just starting out in life and ran a small village auberge.

Our DD and DGD, both wild swimmers, had their first sea swim of the year.

We have one more day at the house, for a final tidy, before it passes completely from our ownership . Our house is one of two, which used to have a farm attached and for over 200 years until we bought the house it had been in the ownership of one family.

Two years ago the house opposite was bought by a young couple, very cheaply, because it was definitely a project house. We have sold our house to the parents of one of them, so the site is returning to one family ownership, they are all very environmentally minded and hope to make the place a wildlife friendly area. Our house will not longer be ours, but ti is going into hands that will continue to nurture it.

MissAdventure

Thank you.
I wasn't sure I would be able to write it out.
Glad I did now.

My thoughts are with you I too remember my son with great pride

MissA, win - it’s so sad

Grannyactivist, I agree with you about taking pleasure in children supporting each other. I am an only child and have absolutely no one. My son and daughters ( and their spouses) are a great team. My son said " Of all the things you've done for me, my sisters are the best gift ".

I don't know what I would do without my adult children. We all have no contact with their father (his loss) so I've been on my own with them for many years. They are all lovely kind thoughtful people and I thank God for them every day.
I have 2 still at home both neuro diverse but they will help anyone. My son drags neighbours bins up steep drives without being asked, he retrieves missing rabbits for small neighbours and does most of the maintenance at home. My youngest marches very much to the beat of her own drum but looks after the chickens and dishwasher. She is usually as good natured as she is disorganised. I do sometimes grumble about them to my other daughter who has left home and lives and works a long way from home and is so hard working but still proof reads job applications for me when required and comes home as often as she can. I love them all dearly they are the best of me.

We have great relationships with our adult children and their other 1/2s and our grandchildren and I am immensely grateful for that.
I'm very proud of our youngest son, his partner has just endured 38 hours of labour and then a C Section to produce a beautiful little girl of 8lbs 13ozs, their first baby. He has been amazing, hardly left her side, done all the feeding and changing of baby whilst taking good care of his partner. After 5 days in hospital they finally got home last night and I just know he'll continue to care for the two of them and it brings me such joy.