Do you ever erupt like a volcano

Did you feel better afterwards? In the circs it sounds as if it could have been very therapeutic!

Please don’t beat yourself up about it, though. It’s probably good for those around you to know that you’ve Just Had Enough!

Never, but I laugh a lot instead to calm down.

Not in anger but in grief.

Not long after the death of my father, my husband and I took a short break in Spain. On this particular day we had travelled a long distance to visit a city I really wanted to see. It was very hot, parking was difficult and a small glimpse of a woman helping an older, obviously very sick man along the road triggered something within me. Completely out of character, the noisy, snotty tears started and wouldn't stop and I couldn't articulate what was wrong. He held me close and we walked down the cooler back streets, poor man was totally perplexed as I continued to sob incoherently. In the end, we cut our losses and drove the long journey back to our hotel.
'Cadiz' has become a metaphor between us: that we can survive the most bizarre situations without being able to explain but just to hold space and to love .

Yes, I’ve erupted like this. Now I try hard not to, but if I do I simply put this behind me and move on.

I’m pretty chilled to be honest, so - no. I don’t have a temper.

Mini meltdowns here, me!

I've HAD to suppress my temper for 20 years! Not that I'm nuts, just, say what I think! Always have, even when I was young, it's how we were bought up. Eldest sister within the last 20 years would be little me and put me down in my own home and whenever I tried to defend myself, mum would always say "let it go etc" even if sister continued being a bitch! And yes, I have told sister to her face and via email several times what a bitch she's been!

But suppressing emotions gets harder as I'm getting older, especially as my dogs die and they were my babies!

The latest mini meltdown was about 10 days ago.

Mum, ALWAYS bloody minded at the best of times, decided not to drink whilst I was dealing with the current dogs being spayed, (I didn't know she hadn't been drinking, I had seen her have her cups of tea).

It was the day after.bringing the dogs home when it all came to glorious head! Mum was sitting at the table with her tea and her pills, oxycontin, carbamazapine and a few others "do you want me to give the dogs their pills?"
" What? " I asked her and she said the same question. I told her they are her pills, the dogs are on metacam after their breakfast.
"No, they have pills every day!"

A niece called me just to say hello, I snapped at her,.said mum wanted to kill the dogs, ended call and snapped at mum.

I was that angry, I didn't dare leave the dogs! Fortunately niece phoned her mum and sister, who then phoned my other sister who phoned me to ask what was going on. I told her as soon as she could get round here with hubby! Other niece also came and noticed mum was not with it and we got mum drinking together!

Sister/hubby came round later and mum was jokey etc said she was fine, didn't mean anything with it..But,.it has upset my sister's seeing how a simple thing of not getting enough liquid affected mum due to her age and her bladder issues!

Even now, I'm getting the "I'm fed up with having to drink so much" every day. Sister next door though has said if at any time I think dogs in danger,.bring to.her!

Mum, "there nothing wrong with me"
My blood pressure? No wonder it's high! Ive even told her that!

I'm bipolar, so yes!
I'm pretty well controlled with pills, but occasionally it needs to get out or we implode!!

Very early in life I realised that victory goes to the person who doesn't lose their temper, when everyone around me is losing theirs. If really pressed I walk away from the situation and go for a long walk.

DH on a few times, very few times, has lost it completely and it leaves him absolutely devastated. ashamed and 'hung over' for days. I do not mean he has been physically violent, but just mentally lost it. Seen from outside, really 'losing it' has nothing to recommend it.

Yes, when my patience has been stretched to it's limits and I'm quite a patient person.

It's not great as I can't articulate myself well in that situation and the problem is I never see it coming. I explode in a moment and it's always a surprise to me let alone the other person! Afterward I realise how many incidents and stress has been building but not 100% aware of it.

A couple of relationships have ended because of it but obviously I'd had enough by then anyway. I've tried not to lose it so quickly but not really succeeded. Eldest son can be the same very rarely...when highly stressed [but I think I'm worse].

I very seldom completely lose the rag, but I did yesterday.

I answered the phone to a cold caller (from somewhere in Africa) who asked to speak to "Miss [my late husband's name] " - who died twelve years ago, and definitely wasn't a Miss, so the caller clearly had no idea who he was calling. Plus, my phone number is registered with the Telephone Preference system, so it should not be getting any cold calls anyway. I let rip, using words that like Coolgran's are not in my normal vocabulary. He put the phone down very fast.

We have had 5 years of major stress about every member of our extended family. All but the under 19s work in Health and Social Care. Almost all have been seriously ill.
On my way to a weekend with a close friend, I got lost and found myself walking down a dirt track with the dog and across a level crossing to a deserted farm seeking directions , having driven 30
miles in the wrong direction eventually. I screamed and cried all the way back to the correct turn off which I had passed en route while the normally caring dog lay relaxing on the back seat. I truly believe she reckoned I needed it !

Very, very rarely, if I’m really cross I go very quiet and start cleaning, cupboards, floors, whatever while I formulate my thoughts.

That is what happens when you do not deal with grievances as they happen. The final straw is often trivial but the anger it evokes is due to all the past slights.

I dont like stewing over things so deal with them as soon as possible or I too would blow up often at the wrong person.

I do it about once a month! I’m a carer for my husband who has dementia. Sometimes I just can’t cope with the demands of sorting out everything (finances/house/shopping/cooking/ garden etc) Im 75 and I too use the F word!!
Forgive yourself
xxx

I can explode although not so much any more but my language is terrible - when I am at the computer the F word pings off the walls. Very satisfying - usually cross with myself or auto correct that makes me see red when it insists of making up words in place of the ones I want to use!

Coolgran65 that’s exactly the same thing that ends up with me loosing it. DH is stubborn and never listens to anyone or anything I say.
I’ve recently taken to telling him to do whatever he wants every time he asks my how I want something done. I think the last 6 months have been amongst the most stressful ever.
He's clearly got either a 5 minute memory (but it’s fine when he wants to remember something he’s said ) or there truly is something cognitive going on. DD says he’s getting worse but, of course, he won’t go to the doctor or comply with his diabetes management so 🤷🏼‍♀️, what can you do?
At the moment he’s got a bee in his bonnet about taking up the lower patio and relaying it 6” (yes, six inches) further down the garden. He could simply lay another row of half slabs but no, he’s spent 12 days taking up 36 slabs.
DD thinks he’s loosing it….and I’m beginning to think the same 😵‍💫

Occasionally. Once I smashed up a plastic tennis racket as the husband and children were doing nothing to help me. Of course, I am sensible I used something that wouldn't cost a lot to replace but it just felt good to bash it into the floor several times till it was no more. It's not something I do often but now I am older and living alone I find the little things can wind me up and I will shout, which upsets the dog who recognises the F word and goes to hide.... Love him.

I get angry and frustrated as everyone does but I rarely blow up. When I do I make sure I'm alone and nobody else can see or hear it.

Definitely 50 million f-bombs from me too!

It's a good thing actually, as long as it's not regular, as it gets things out of your system.

Bombs away!

I often used to want to erupt at my mother when she had dementia, and was driving me mad, on and on and ON about some grievance or complaint that was purely in her imagination - e.g. her sister had ‘stolen’ their mother’s house.

Reasoning and logic were of course equally useless - and screaming at her - which is what I often badly wanted to do - would have achieved precisely nothing.

So now and then I’d pretend I’d left something in the car, go and sit in it with Bohemian Rhapsody on loud, and have a really good SCREEAM!!
Very therapeutic, I can recommend it!

No, I don't really ever get angry. Sometimes I get upset but even then I tend to bottle it up. I wish I could get more angry really.

Being angry doesn’t entitle you to be hurtful.

All of us feel anger - it’s one of the human emotions - acting out that anger to hurt, belittle, humiliate, or score points is really regrettable.

Anger like any emotion will pass. It’s best to recognise it as it arises and let it dissipate before you harm yourself or others.

Snide comments passive aggressive comments and sarcasm are death knells to relationships. They’re absolute poison.

Yes. Though only 2 people ever upset me enough for the explosion! My DH and DGS (the latter has lived with me all of his life- he’s now 29- and is unfortunately dabbling in drugs. He suffers Crohn’s and is now on injections because he refuses to take oral medication )DH can be the most aggravating person when moody and knows which buttons to press. TBF it usually clears the air for us all but they are the only people who ever push me to use the F word! My old dad would be turning in his grave if he heard me.

I tend to make very sarcastic but funny remarks which really confuses people! The only time I can recall losing it in the past was when I was much younger and someone betrayed a confidence which had been told to us both by a mutual friend.

I think the description of volcano is very apt. We keep tensions bubbling under the surface until the pressure is too much and then it all spews out. I think if we were more assertive it wouldn’t get to that but it’s easier said than done.

I have a very very long fuse but when I get to the end of it the explosion is EPIC