Gransnet forums

Chat

where would you scatter ashes?

(43 Posts)
lemsip Wed 15-May-24 12:13:45

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13420767/Moment-British-tourists-wade-sea-sprinkle-loved-ones-ashes-water-favourite-holiday-spot-Turkey-unwittingly-horrifying-locals-triggering-health-scare.html

all quite safe apparently on reading..

MissAdventure Wed 15-May-24 21:36:32

Sorry, that was to dotpocka

harrigran Thu 16-May-24 08:20:54

I wouldn't scatter ashes.

Iam64 Thu 16-May-24 08:31:27

My friend’s ashes were scattered on the family farmland. His adult children organised a Memorial Day, ashes scattered by those present then tea in the village hall. It seemed very appropriate
My mum and father in law had their ashes scattered from their little yacht off the coast of Dorset where they lived.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t scatter ashes.

The behaviour of the family in Turkey was imo very tacky and totally inappropriate in that country. Awful

henetha Thu 16-May-24 08:38:09

When my ex husband died he had requested his ashes be scattered at sea. One of our sons has a boat so it was easy. We went quite far out, beyond where people swim, off the beach where we had met in 1956.
Yes, in case you wonder, he was my ex but we remained good friends.

karmalady Thu 16-May-24 08:41:38

no, I hate the concept of scattering ashes. My husband`s ashes are buried below a dedicated oak tree in a memorial forest. It is aleady a fine and strong young oak

kittylester Thu 16-May-24 08:50:12

Primrose53

In Leicester the Asian community have been using the River Soar for sending ashes downstream along with floral tributes. This has been going on for decades and they are even provided with platforms going out into the river for mourners.

My friend had a house with a garden that runs down to the river Soar in a village down stream. As well as the platforms there are now funeral boats that people use to scatter the ashes and flowers. After busy days they had an ongoing battle with flowers and also ashes getting entangled with the vegetation at the water's edge.

Casdon Thu 16-May-24 08:53:59

It’s a very individual choice I think. Whatever people do with their ashes it’s all returned to the earth in the end, whether it’s via a river, in a box, buried, in the sea or whatever. My husband’s were at his request scattered at the golf club (not on the greens!), I think I’d like to go up in a firework and be dispersed far and wide.
What I personally couldn’t do is keep ashes on my mantelpiece, or have them made into jewellery, although I know for many that’s what they choose. It’s very much each to their own.

Primrose53 Thu 16-May-24 09:00:08

kittylester

Primrose53

In Leicester the Asian community have been using the River Soar for sending ashes downstream along with floral tributes. This has been going on for decades and they are even provided with platforms going out into the river for mourners.

My friend had a house with a garden that runs down to the river Soar in a village down stream. As well as the platforms there are now funeral boats that people use to scatter the ashes and flowers. After busy days they had an ongoing battle with flowers and also ashes getting entangled with the vegetation at the water's edge.

I know. Saves them the cost of a trip to the River Ganges, which incidentally is now the most heavily polluted river in the world with miles and miles of floating rubbish bergs.

MissAdventure Thu 16-May-24 10:00:21

I would find that quite repulsive, I have to say, even with all due respect to the deceased people.

GrannySomerset Thu 16-May-24 13:34:58

DH’s ashes are buried near the South Porch of the church where he was first treasurer and then church warden and mine will join them in due course. It’s a lovely sunny spot with people passing by all the time and is absolutely right for him.

LadyGracie Thu 16-May-24 22:14:20

We kept our mums ashes and when our dad died we scattered them together at the Viaduc de Millau.

Prescott Tue 21-May-24 17:01:46

I heard a story recently where a widow put her husband’s ashes in a salt shaker and would scatter them at their favorite restaurants. Hopefully outside….. I don’t like this idea at all!!

Georgesgran Wed 22-May-24 22:55:49

DH scattered the ashes of his best friend on Linhope Estate in 2000 and from that day, said he wanted his ashes spread on the same spot. So, in 2021, we had to get the Family’s permission to enter their private land to carry out DH’s final wishes.

Georgesgran Wed 22-May-24 23:03:46

This is DH looking at the spot where his ashes would eventually be scattered.

NotSpaghetti Thu 23-May-24 00:56:54

I think the salt shaker thing is just a story.
The ones I've seen seem to be too gritty for that..

BlueSapphire Thu 23-May-24 15:33:19

I scattered some of DH's ashes in the sea while I was on a cruise. It was done officially with the permission of the cruise company and ship's captain. It had to be in international waters. The ship's chaplain arranged everything; had to wear a life jacket and have safety crew members with us. (In case I fell overboard!). I felt DH would have been happy had he known.

pinkprincess Thu 23-May-24 21:43:38

My DH died four years ago.His wish was to have his ashes scattered on the sea. They (the ashes) are still in an urn in the front room in my house, awaiting the scattering, if it ever happens.
I don't think I am ignoring his wishes by doing this as he loved to sit in the front room.
After reading this thread the ashes are staying there, until I move house.