Random old bloke telling me to ‘Cheer up!’ 😩

If you go through life always interpreting things to be an insult then I am not surprised you looked unhappy. If you always look on the bright side of life then things are much better. If you talk and chat to strangers they may become friends.

Maybe this should have been posted in AIBU

I am baffled by the people who think that not being willing to put up sexist comments and attitudes equals being unfriendly.

Jackiest

If you go through life always interpreting things to be an insult then I am not surprised you looked unhappy. If you always look on the bright side of life then things are much better. If you talk and chat to strangers they may become friends.

Maybe this should have been posted in AIBU

I doubt that Witzend goes through life interpreting things as an insult and looking unhappy as she is one of the most cheerful posters on Gransnet.

Any old man who makes remarks like that to women is probably not someone many of us would want t make friends with.

Are you male or female, Jackiest?

I am baffled by the people who think that not being willing to put up sexist comments and attitudes equals being unfriendly
Me too, Siope.

"Are you male of female Jackiest?" could be Eric Idle, it's the "Always Look on The Bright Side of Life" such a giveaway.

Men are very welcome on Gransnet of course Jackiest , and it would be interesting to know if that is a male or female take on this, ie assuming that Witzend is always interpreting things to be an insult and therefore looks unhappy when some man she doesn't know tells her to Cheer up.

Men are welcome?

Hmmm....

Golly thought it was just old grannies on here good to hear we have grandads too. In fact do you have to have grand kids or even children to be a member

Nope.
Anyone can join and have a chin wag.

Callistemon21

Jackiest

If you go through life always interpreting things to be an insult then I am not surprised you looked unhappy. If you always look on the bright side of life then things are much better. If you talk and chat to strangers they may become friends.

Maybe this should have been posted in AIBU

I doubt that Witzend goes through life interpreting things as an insult and looking unhappy as she is one of the most cheerful posters on Gransnet.

Any old man who makes remarks like that to women is probably not someone many of us would want t make friends with.

Are you male or female, Jackiest?

I am baffled by the people who think that not being willing to put up sexist comments and attitudes equals being unfriendly
Me too, Siope.

Are women not allowed to talk to strangers is that why you think I am a man? All he said was "Cheer up" maybe not the best thing but I have heard far worse. You say it is sexist but I would not be surprised if he would say to a man as well. So we should not assume it was a sexist comment. I have had many conversations with strangers both men and women, Yes some of them I have thought I will give them a miss if I see them again and others I will look out for.

MissAdventure

Men are welcome?

Hmmm....

Why would they not be?

Being critical of sexist behaviour doesn't equal not wanting to communicate with men. We've all, or most of us, got them in our families and probably quite like them

This thread is not anti-men - it is anti chauvinist men.

The OP's experience chimed with other poster's experiences so the thread developed. There is an awful lot of women quoting similar experiences, too, if you Google so it's obviously something some of us feel quite strongly about. And equally obviously an issue that is of concern, when you read some of those experiences.

But that still does not equate to us being unfriendly to men - in general.

My son, almost of the age at which he could be a grandad, has read various postings on here on different subjects and quite likes the idea of joining, though I don't think he'd be posting every day - but he does like the news and politics threads which he finds quite informative, and interesting.

You'd be better to ask that question of people that don't welcome men here.
Not me.

Jackiest

If you go through life always interpreting things to be an insult then I am not surprised you looked unhappy. If you always look on the bright side of life then things are much better. If you talk and chat to strangers they may become friends.

Maybe this should have been posted in AIBU

I was not ‘insulted’ - I was merely a bit annoyed and upset. And I have to say that stopping to chat to some random old chap when I had just a few minutes to get my Gdd to her pre-school - and was trying to keep up when she was whizzing along on her bike, really wasn’t on.

Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised by some of the pious platitudes spouted on here, but I must confess that I am.

Siope

I am baffled by the people who think that not being willing to put up sexist comments and attitudes equals being unfriendly.

Me too.

But it seems to be the case.

Perhaps we're supposed to accept sexist comments as harmless - the poor blokes are just being 'friendly' - and give them a big welcoming smile, even if we've got things on our mind like herding grandchildren to school, shopping, phone calls to make, jobs to do... what could possibly be more important than making some complete stranger feel good about himself? We owe it to them to be 'friendly' and cheerful when they decide to make a comment, right?

I think we should wait until they're just about to put their chainsaw to good use, then sneak up behind them and yell "Cheer up, darlin', it may never happen!"

Oooh no! The chainsaw may slip and cut of their entitlements 😲

AGAA4

Oooh no! The chainsaw may slip and cut of their entitlements 😲

🤣🤣

😂

They wouldn't look very cheerful if that happened.

A Bobbit special.

No, but I thought you said you were a Grandad on another thread, Jackiest, which usually indicates the person is a man.

I could be wrong.

Where's grumppa when you need him?

I bet he's never said "Cheer up love, it may never happen" to any unsuspecting female who was walking along minding her own business.

Callistemon21

No, but I thought you said you were a Grandad on another thread, Jackiest, which usually indicates the person is a man.

I could be wrong.

That was not me and I was female when I last looked.

He said cheer up he did not say cheer up luv or cheer up darling. Cheer up is something that could be said by a man or a woman to a man or a woman. If we are interpreting the same phrase said with the same meaning differently depending on whether it is said by a man or a woman then who is the one that is sexist?

Whoever put a leer into the unisex phrase.

Do people really think that we should all look cheerful all the time, however we are feeling inside? If so, why is that? Who gets to decide what is a suitable facial expression for others to wear, and who gave them enforcement powers?

There is a thread about closing down opinions, and the ‘it’s not the end of the world’/‘have you nothing else to worry about?’/‘I’ve heard worse’ comments feature on that, too. There is a lot of space between not liking something and believing that the world will end because of it, and it is not only the worst things that people have ever heard that can make others feel uncomfortable.