When to move?

There are a lot like us aren't there!
I had my house valued recently and the EA told me that there are lots like me.
She was right.
When my DiL's dad died, her mum was stranded in the big house. DiL came to the rescue but first had to persuade her it was for the best.
It was and she now lives in a village with some facilities and lovely neighbours.
They were rural before.

It's hard on your own but needs must. I went to NZ this year to stay with DS2 and I thought I wouldn't have the confidence but I did.

I hope we all make the right decision for us.

I would also like to move as house is very old and needs maintaining. Also the garden is a lot of work.

I am nearing 80 now, but the thought of all the admin work to be done, solicitors, energy companies. etc. puts me right of.

Another thing is tons of stuff to be sorted out. Mine and OH who is reluctant to get rid of anything.
It just seems like a lot of hassle, which it is.

And then we have the pressuring estate agents who continually advise you to take the first offer that comes your way.

Sorry to be negative, but moving house is not a joyful experience.

We did consider downsizing and looked at retirement flats, did sums decided to stay put. We are near enough to family and facilities. That left us with stairs and maintenance of Edwardian house. We got a stairlift and have a neighbourhood WhatsApp group for tradesmen. In our final throes I expect we will just let the house crumble, the garden go wild and hope we will be past noticing.

If Dh goes first I think I would just stay. I think he would too.

When we bought our current house we knew we would be moving on at a later date, but it suited us then and we have lived here nearly 30 years.

Now we would like to live somewhere closer to our children and with the services we need, shops, doctor, hospital, within walking distance.

However, retirement properties have never featured in our plans. We want a proper house with plenty of space, just less than we have now and little or no garden.

Be warned the sharks start circling when they smell the vulnerability of an older person, in a house which is becoming more difficult to manage. They strike with venomous greed, its a booming business and difficult to find creditable, honest agents that do not swim in the same pool. Nuff said

Sorry to be negative, but moving house is not a joyful experience.

It's not negative, it's realistic.

I moved to a vibrant community neighbourhood with all facilities nearby when I was 65. I still had the energy to completely reconfigure my small house and garden to my taste.. and also the energy to make a few new friends.. I managed to get rid of all the things I didn't need in that last move..

We downsized seven years ago to a three bed end terrace, but now regret moving. We are now looking to move to a detached house with good parking. We will stay in the town as it’s nice and everything is just so conveniently within walking distance, plenty of buses also. My advice be fussy and have a good look around the area you intend to move to.

We are in the process of downsizing to a park home. We are in our 60s and my husband still working. The decision came about when one came available where we have talked about for many years. Due to ill health I can’t help in the garden which will help take the load of my husband. We still have manageable outside space. Moving now for us is the right time

We bought this house eight years ago and realised that the time might come when the upkeep of a house became too much for us.

That time has not yet come, even although DH died last autumn, years earlier than we eight years ago had any reason to think either of us would die.

Practically the first thing people said to me upon learning of DH's death was "Are you going to sell the house?" The polite answer was, "Not at the present". The less polite, but more frequent was "Will you for Heaven's sake let me get used to widowhood before you start planning my future?"

I am coping. Have painted the outer sides of seven windows completely and have undercoated three more, two of which are on the first storey, painted the cement faced founds of the entire house , have 3 windows still to do, and have repainted and decorated all the rooms of the entire first storey .

All this ,over and above dealing with probate, trying to find a gardener, mowing grass myself, shopping, cooking and cleaning - the three last were formerly shared tasks, whilst DH did household repairs and I washing, ironing and the basic minimum of gardening.

Strange as people find it, we bought the house because we liked it and could imagine being happy living in it, (which we were, and I still am) not because we cared two hoots about the garden, which only interests me because it has currant bushes, is a place to hang out the washing, and a marvellous playground for two cats.

What said garden looks like is not anything I can work myself up about - it is home to two hedgehogs, and uncounted number of toads, various birdst, butterflies, dragon flies and a fairly large assortment of field mice, voles and shrews. The queenie cat makes me regular presents of the above mouse populations (including a mouse, proudly brought into the kitchen ten minutes before the undertaker was due to come on the morning following DH' s death. I decided that an undertaker was unlikely to be disturbed by the sight of a dead mouse, that I had not time to weep at the cat's attempt to condole with me, and dealt with her gift in the time honoured fashion, which includes the use of a dustpan and brush and a small plastic bag.)

Her brother devours more or less of his mice, depending on the size of his appetite that day and leaves me to dispose of the rest of his meal.

So cross the bridge when you come to it - you will know when the time is right, or if, like my father, you don't, someone else will dispose of your property once it no longer is your concern. Live life while you have it.

Move before there’s a crisis and before you can’t manage. Look ahead and foresee the problems which may (or may not) arise in your current home. If it needs doing do it whilst you are physically and mentally able ie before you really want or need to. Don’t leave your children to sort it out. We thought about it through our 60s then did it and haven’t regretted it. Our memories of our previous house are happy ones not about things going wrong.

But you cannot know exactly when the moment is reached when a move is necessary. We bought our current house in our early 50s as our retirement home, knowing that we would need to downsize at some time.

Well, at 80 we are beginning to run down a bit and have decided that if we move we might as well move somewhere more convenient for our children.

I sold my 3 bedroomed house in London two years ago. For ages I had been worried about the maintenance of it (it was an old terraced house). I sat down and worked out that I could sell it (I had no outstanding mortgage) and use the money to rent somewhere smaller. the sale went through before I found a suitable flat so I had three uncertain months living with my son which was a bit worrying but I have now found the ideal flat and I LOVE it. No maintenance, just pots of the balcony instead of a large garden. I have money in the bank instead of money tied up in my house and I can travel more as well. If I live to be 100 I may run out of money but I really don't worry about that at this stage!

We have moved a fair bit to different parts of the country including spending winters in Spain. However, our last house was far to big for us so we sold up and now live in a bungalow with a big garden but we are both passionate gardeners and do now have a gardener twice a week to help with the heavy stuff. We can walk to town, doctors etc and have a good bus service. I certainly don't miss stairs but what I would say is chose somewhere by location first and preferably with a nice view.

Sorry meant have a gardener twice a month

I always thought our house is too big for us because it has 4 bedrooms and a large garden. Until a new neighbour moved into a house down the road same size as ours.

She moved from down south, on her own, recently retired around my age. She told me she has given up her car and she choose that area because the nearby amenities are so good.

Makes me think if that the case why do I even contemplate moving, might as well adapt the house and stay here.

If left on my own, I do not mind moving nearer to my daughter. However, most things are more expensive where she lives - property prices, taxis even Indian takeaway cost twice as much.

We moved to a flat near my daughter when I was 69, husband was 74. Previously we’d had a five storey town house, took a lot of time and money to maintain though we could still manage the stairs.
We’re very relieved to have moved, both due to our easy to live in property and being near family.

How people use their houses and the space in them is very different from one person to another.

We have a large 4 bedroomed house - and use every room. While there is 2 of us I would be happy to stay in the house, but the garden, is more than I now want to manage and getting gardeners in would need a lot of garden replanning, and I just can't be bothered. However, when one of us dies, the house would be too big with just one person rattling round it.

The house we have our eye on to downsize to is a large old 3 bedroomed house, with plenty of parking and a negligable garden, which is much more convenient for our children, who currently both face quite difficukt journeys to reach us.

Casbe

Oh how I sympathise with you. I am desperate to move but OH won’t even consider it. Living in a rural area with no neighbours, shops or any services. Property has 5 acres of land which is divided up into garden area, orchard and fields none of which are on the level. I do have someone in to help with managing the ‘natural areas’ but the gardens are left to me. OH has no interest in gardening but enjoys looking at the surrounding countryside through the window!!! Now 75 it’s all getting too much and I worry about the future re being able to drive and would really like to move whilst still fit and able and capable of making a good decision.

We must be soul mates. I could have written this post. We are older than you and have had the card from the King.

Since being on my own I have thought of moving to somewhere smaller. When I have scanned property sites for areas I feel I would like to live in tge cost has been way above my means. A ret4urement flat is not for me and all the scandals about management costs doesnt help. A move to be nearer family is out of the question as they live in the highest priced property areas in UK. Looks like I'm stuck where I am. I do have 6 neighbours but no public transport without taking a taxi to rail or bus stations.

Bungalow living is great when we get older but go for location and nice view.

Well we are in process right now we downsized to a park home and have loved every minute but our only family are in Australia so we are going there to by by my daughter ( Perth)and son in law and grandson. My son lives in Melbourne with granddaughter aged 7 praying all will be ok for us I am 72 my husband 74 fit and healthy at moment touch wood but going to leave lots and lots of friends praying we can make a new life and new friends too

To those of you that think that a stairlift will save you in the future please be aware that they are not always suitable . Especially in the case where the person has a stroke with a hemiplegia that can affect balance greatly. That person would not be safe on a stairlift.

I guess when you can no longer climb onto a stairlift you shouldn't be living on your own!
I knew of a man who aged over 100, was still living alone.
He had been very active in his life and fiercely independent.
When the storms of 1987 came, fallen trees blocked the way to his house but his neighbours rallied around and he became a celebrity!