Shutdown comments

Oh bless , normally shuts me up,making me feel old and stupid

An awful lot of comments are 'shut downs' because people really aren't that interested in the views of others. My 'favourite' is 'Think positive.' As a counsellor I'm sharply aware it's one of the most destructive things you can say to someone who's worried/sad/complaining. Emotions need to be truly heard. Only after this has taken place and is felt to have taken place can the person be gently led to better perspectives. But, sadly, I don't think there are that many people who care how others feel. Hopefully that's just my rather jaded perspective from spending so much time with souls who do not feel anyone is listening.

Oh poor postie Chuckle. I have delivered newsletters. And cursed those houses with no numbers.

‘To be fair ….’ really gets to me as you know the person saying it is not about to be in the least bit fair. 😬

My favourite, especially if someone says something negative about you, is "I'm sorry you feel that way". End of conversayion.

downtoearth

Oh bless , normally shuts me up,making me feel old and stupid

Oh yes! One of the juniors at the hair salon I used to go to was fond of saying that if I said anything that suggested I wasn't about to celebrate my centenary. She said it once too often and I pointed out to her that she wouldn't like me talking to her as though she was a child, and she had the grace to acknowledge that I was right. Last I heard she had left hairdressing to work in a care home, so I hope she was being sincere.

I confess to using 'to be fair', usually abbreviated as 'tbf' in messages on the family group when I am retrospectively moderating something less than tactful that I've said. I'd say that 99% of the time I use it intentionally in an attempt to be fair .

I’m not saying you meant (insert whatever hurtful nonsense you really.do want to imply)

Aye, right, of course you’re not.

LovesBach

JackyB

I have the opposite problem. I feel very sad when I go to "I'm On" and see that I was the last person to post on most of the conversation have contributed to. I feel guilty for killing all the threads.

I thought that was just me - I get a heartsink feeling that I have said something so silly or trite that other posters are rolling about laughing.

As undines said, I think this is because some posters really don’t care about the opinions of others, and just seem to want their thoughts heard. I’ve noticed that it’s quite rare that an opposite view from a poster is followed by a genuine ‘ want to know’ question, rather than a ‘ shutdown’, (or even a personal insult)
I think this is a shame, because boards like these can be a great source of company for many people, and many may be put off from joining in because of such replies.

Yes the Chat forum is crammed with egotists. Health is very helpful and kind/sympathetic. I am trying to avoid Chat, but dammit it is addictive. Even just to confirm my opinion! So many I would avoid in Real Life.

I agree.

One of my least favourite shut downs is the one that used to be a favourite of parents and teachers. "Because I said so."

I am guilty of using that expression when my children were young Bumface usually when I was tired.

Understandable Tilly. I am guilty of just saying 'because' under similar circumstances, which of course is no better.

Mothers cannot be Saints all of the time Bumface 😇 😏

Oh I am glad it's not just me who thinks that she has shut down threads! I've got several on "I'm on" just now where my post is the last one, and I didn't mean to shut them down, honest.

Wheniwasyourage

Oh I am glad it's not just me who thinks that she has shut down threads! I've got several on "I'm on" just now where my post is the last one, and I didn't mean to shut them down, honest.

I think that's bound to happen when we use 'I'm on', as the ordering on here is so idiosyncratic. Someone may well answer later, but the post will have slipped off the page and we miss it. Unless we search over and over we don't know that there's been a reply.

That's my excuse for appearing to shut down threads, anyway!

Best "put down" I have received was when a friend wanted to end a discussion and said "well, let's just agree you are wrong" It did end the conversation as I was laughing so much!

I've a fridge magnet that says "Save time. See it my way" that someone bought me.

My husband has a tee shirt that has 'I'm an engineer - let's save time and just assume that I'm never wrong' (or similar) on the front. It suits him

Soem of these put down comments are funny.

Ffion63

‘To be fair ….’ really gets to me as you know the person saying it is not about to be in the least bit fair. 😬

Actually, they may very well be being fair, it depends what they go on to say.

"end of" as a final 'sentence' is the only one that irritates.

I can tolerate all the others mentioned here, but the arrogance in that one phrase... I'm-right-so-no-further-discussion.

It used to be used a lot on FB and some other media sites and really provoked me to respond.

Now I've learned that frequently if you challenge someone who uses that phraseology - far from responding to what you've written, the poster simply becomes abusive.

So now I just regard it as a comment not worth bothering with!

My sisters favourite would always be "Oh, go boil your head", which would usually shut down a conversation but also have me it fits of giggles. She's been saying this since she was about 10, and still says it now in her 50s.

HarmonyPuss my brother used to say that to me in the ‘40s and ‘50s.