A conversation in a Restaurant

My mom always said older never old. I have been told I don't look my age I am 66. But remember when I was 54 a man said to the little boy let the old lady by . I looked behind me then realised he meant me. Turned out he was older than me as the boy told me it was his grandad and how old he was. I have walked with a stick since I was 29. Seemed using a stick made me old.

I’m 60 and I tell my family I’m old to get out of doing things and make life easier when they’re around! However I would be mortified to be described as old by anyone else ☺️

Whiff it is strange the response you get when using a stick. I was crossing the road outside my house yesterday when a neighbour rushed up to me to help me across. I am afraid I was a little short with her having safely crossed that road hundreds or times and pointed out I was not blind the stick was not white!

I'm 94 soon and I quite enjoy being treated like a VIP by some people. I appreciate being helped and doors held open for me. Old age is a privilege not granted to everyone. If you're fairly healthy , fairly solvent, with some family and/or friends.....consider yourself fortunate and SMILE!

I find all too often that characters in books are described as frail and elderly in their sixties! My husband is 65 and I am 59 and I like to think we both have a long way to go before we sink into decrepitude.

Also at the other end of the scale, with younger pupils l will sometimes say: "of course, I'm very old." One little boy replied with:"yes you are. You must be at least 27!" He made my day.

This is interesting because I’ve often found myself wondering what age various GNetters are, some I imagine to be “young” eg Callistemon and GermanShepherdsMum and RosiesMaw others not so much! I’m clinging on to my sixties for the next month but I only feel old when people call me “m’dear” and a younger friend says “bless you” (and not when I’ve sneezed!).

Perhaps the person was frail, ill and they were commiserating about her circumstances rather than her age.

Recently I watched an old black and white film with a very young David McCallum in which a 60 year old man had been murdered. He was referred to in the film as a "poor old man" and in the newspapers in the film as "elderly". I had to laugh. How times change!

I'm 71 and feel younger. At the hairdressers the other day I mentioned going on holiday. As I left she shouted "make sure you wear a sunhat". I felt she was pointing out my thin hair so I felt old.

Aldom

I'm several years older than the 78 year old, 'poor old soul'. I doubt very much if it would occur to anyone to refer to me that way. OP, you are still young, don't think old.
My granddaughter once said of me... 'Grandma doesn't thinkold.'
My mother thought old from her 40's onwards. She was ten years younger than I am now when she died. My adult children say they never remember their grandmother being 'young'.

Here’s the thing tho Aldom we never know what others think of us age wise unless we overhear something or they tell us to our face.😲

I love it and always have, if anyone gives up their seat for me or helps in any way, and don’t mind being called ‘my dear’ either.

I bet it was a woman saying that. We are the worse critics .

My late MIL was often heard referring to (for example) "getting delayed by old people" (they did a few coach holidays per year). She was in her early 80s then (but still quite lively and agile) and when FIL pointed out "aren't you old too?" got a "certainly not" fired back!

The first time someone offered me a seat on the Tube (we only visit London occasionally) I had to resist the temptation to say "No thanks -- do I look old" as I just about realised in time that the obvious and uncomfortable answer was "well, um, yes".

Now if shop assistants make comments about being old (I don't look frail or doddery, at least, I don't think so . . .) I try and make some little joke about easily forgetting things, perhaps.

If I get an "aw, bless" from them, as someone said, I have to resist the temptation to get cross!

I was born old. Suits me. I don't care how others perceive my appearance.

We were chatting with our neighbours at the weekend and one referred to some people nearby as 'the old folks who live in that house'. Then she stopped and said 'Gosh, I shouldn't say that, I'm quite old myself now. We're probably almost the same age'. We're all late sixties/early 70s

I do think though that some people just come across as 'old' while others never seem to age.

I remember one of my nans in her early 80s talking about the old ladies in the downstairs flats and helping them!
If I use a stick I often get the offer of a seat, but the stick is not because of old age, but the result of an injury. I was once directed towards a first class carriage by the train crew in a very busy train, and I accepted gratefully, they'd put a chap in a wheelchair in there too.
We are very variable as to how we look and behave as we age. Women who have had a hard physical life and have suffered from the effects of poverty often seem to age earlier.
I noticed while watching the D Day commemorations that obviously all the veterans were very old, but some looked a lot older than others

Well done Eirlys congratulations my cousin is 98 and still going very strong, learning Spanish online at the moment

I’ve realised the older I get the ‘older’ old becomes

I remember my grandparents looking very old when I was young, though they were probably only around 60. I'm 72 now and look a little faded but I'm assured by my grandchildren) not OLD old.

Truly I believe that some people can slide into "old age" after age 40, while others maintain a youthful outlook and interest throughout life. (I think we all know of at least one bright & breezy octogenarian and one gloomy, miserable, middle-aged person!) I do appreciate that health issues can play a part in this, but I've found it isn't always the case. In my experience, some people "make a meal" of health issues, while others soldier on and keep a positive & "young" outlook. I hope I'm the latter!

"Old" isn't a dirty word.
Hopefully it's what we're all aiming for, rather than popping our clogs too soon.

Wear what we like, we'll still be the age we are - the amount of years that have passed since we were born.

Quite some years ago I was in a theatre standing in long queue for the ladies loo. Suddenly a woman shouted out " let the wee old lady go first". I looked around for the poor old dear only to discover it was me! I should've been offended as I was only in my early 60's but I graciously accepted the invitation and had a quiet chuckle once I was behind the locked door.

On my home from the hairdressers yesterday, a lady waited for me to reach the pelican crossing before pressing the button to stop the traffic. I must admit that I felt grateful to her as I get exhausted on these outings (I have M.E). Gone are the days when having my hair done makes me look and feel good. That lady was disabled which probably made her more compassionate towards this 'poor old soul'

Does it not strike you, as it does me, that a poor old soul can either have the emphasis on poor or on old, and if we leave old out entirely, anyone we describe as a poor soul has a hard life, or at least a hard time of things right now.

The expression in itself is surely a measure of the speaker's concern for the other person, not a snide comment on either their poverty or age.

Are we not all sligthly guilty of taken offence, where none is intended when we hear or read the words "old" or "elderly" irrespective of how and when they are used?

At 72 I am an old woman, by any and all accounts - I have not menstruated for 52 years, which surely is one sign of old age?

My hair is turning grey - another sign, I have a cataract forming in my left eye and I am a widow. I am also in receipt of state pension and pensions from two unions I belonged to at different points in my working life. So by anyone's standards. anywhere in the world, I am an old woman.

This does not mean I am a poor old soul, or at death's door, but it could mean either of these things.

Sorry, if I am de-railing a light-hearted thread, but I do get so tired of this self-conciousness about age.