Has Covid changed life for you?

M0nica

I am going to make myself very unpopular now.

I do think that we are all responsible for our own lives and have to be determined to take ourselves in hand when we get pushed back.

Like many here my life became very insular during COVID and frankly left me very lazy when lif opened up again, it was too much effort to get up and go to meetings, if I could zoom them, and if I can't I couldn't be bothered. I hardly drove so I began to feel lacking in confidence there as well.

Now I was also dealing with DHs health problems, but I was stressed and low and decided that the only way to iproce matters was to grit my teeth and do something about it. So I forced myself to go to meetings, to attend gatherings. I took over all the driving for aa month when we had at least long round journeys on motorways and by night and day.

The result is now all my confidence driving has returned, I have just returned from a weekend away, which included a special tour of a historic site with a group I belong to. I am attending two musical events in churches today and tomorrow and we are currently booking a holiday.

I appreciate that for some ill health and disability will limit what they can do, but for most people, it is a question of forcing themselves back into normal life or else living the rest of their lives in seclusion and, from the sound of it unhappiness.

Sometimes the changes are nothing to do with us, or not making the effort. We couldn’t stop our daughter going to New Zealand with her coercive controlling husband, now ex husband, during Covid. It was used as an excuse, because lockdowns were fewer and less severe there. He said they’d go for one or two years. We tried to talk to her as we were aware of what he was like but she was under his control. They are now getting divorced. Details have now emerged about his behaviour during the marriage that have shocked us. We are trying to help her return home but he refuses to allow the children to return. This was nothing of our doing, but it has changed our lives irrevocably.

Yes it has changed my life. My husband died of Covid in February 21. He was only 68. So I've missed out on our retirement together. We had 50 years and 2 months of .married life so now I have to manage on my own.

maddyone I was talking very exclusively about those of us who stopped doing things because of COVID restrictions and nothing else, and have to really beat ourselves up to get back to normal.

But during COVID other aspects of everyone's live continued. Sadly, for you, ths included your daughters marital difficulties and events like that always change people's lives.

I have a friend who has become housebound since COVID. Not because of COVID but because COVID started 4 years ago and her existing disabilities have got worse. This would have happened whether COVID had happened or not.

For us, we lost my MIL during COVID. She was living in a care home at the time, so it meant no visitors. Finally, when she was designated as palliative, one family member was allowed to gear up and visit, but both her sons here have health issues making them vulnerable, so I was her only visitor. I would call family members over speaker phone, but it wasn't the same for them or for her. Such as sad way for a life to end.

Personally, it has just made us more aware of viruses and crowds, which is probably a good thing, although my DH, (one of the vulnerable sons), is reluctant to be in crowds. Where he was a bit anxious of crowds before, he is doubly so now. I can't say it affects us too much, since we never really have done larger events, but I have a hard time dragging him to even local theatre events when I may have convinced him beforehand.

Luckygirl3

Well it is changing life for me right this minute!

I am still testing positive, and, whilst the major symptoms have subsided, I feel as though I have been switched off at the plug. I am not dressed yet and am dragging myself about. Add in the cocktail of drugs that I am on for my heart which lower my BP and pulse to nothing, and it is all a pig's ear.

It is hard to imagine feeling well again at the moment. I am supposed to be going to my DD's 90 miles away tomorrow and sharing a singing day with her on Sunday - lord knows how I might do that. I am going by train and they are awful on that line - rammed with people and nowhere to sit. I would have to wear a mask if I am able to go - I can't bear the idea of infecting someone else who might be vulnerable.

Don’t go!
Unfair to yourself and anyone in contact with you.
Singing!

ExDancer

Yes It has today!
Yesterday my DH tested positive for it, so yes - things have changed. He's totally wiped out, exhausted, running a temperature, coughing and spluttering and weak as a kitten. He's really very poorly, and he's not someone who whinges when he's ill.

I'd been wondering what was the matter with him for a couple of days until I heard someone in the group we were out with on Sunday had covid, so he did a test.

This girl (woman) works in the local doctor's surgery (admin) and says staff are expected to keep going and to treat covid as you would a cold! Apparently its only a mild affliction now its 'mutated'.
I can't believe it!

Surely that's wrong?

A colleague went off sick last week, she tested positive for Covid.I ring and text her as she lives alone and have put groceries on her step.She’s had it before but this time feels really ill and weak.Non stop coughing.
It’s still around, even in Summer even for those who’ve had the vaccines.

DD3 has just had an MMR booster (there's a lot of measles about too) and felt awful the following day. She hasn't improved and eventually did a covid test. It was positive.

Definitely not going "Oreo" ... managed to get up and shower at 5pm and am totally flattened. I have a peculiar symptom of numbness round my mouth ... it is really weird. Anyone else had this with covid?

Has covid changed life for me? Not really.

I had tkr prior and other knee recently, first was harder.

I'm generally as healthy and fit as prior to covid, I do still distance if possible. I'm not one to go out for coffees and meals, no big changes there.

Missing Church was difficult, but we're back.

We still hire help for windows, gardens, some cleaning (in-home cleaners were on hold for covid). We still travel (not during covid except to our holiday home for upkeep - seeing nobody, breaking no rules).

Just older. Our children are older, GC/GGC older.

Reading that so many of you either have covid now, know someone that has it or are suffering from long covid has got me even more worried about catching it. My daughter’s friend has just got it for the umpteenth time. I don’t think I’ll be resuming my previous life any time soon. I’m in enough of a mess with decluttering my house; I daren’t get ill!

Not drastically. I resumed most of my activities as and when we were allowed to, first with church choir: we met on zoom, then together, spread out in church, as there were only six of us, so it was allowed before other bigger choirs. I think it drew us emotionally closer together and that has lasted.
My voluntary work changed to working from home, over the phone, during lockdown, with a Whatsapp group for keeping in touch. Most of us have not gone back into the office. I had to stop when DH was ill, then he died and I haven’t resumed as I did not have the headspace to cope. Now I do, but am probably not going to as I don’t really want to have to relearn all the technical aspects again after a long gap. Not really Covid-related as such, but so many people have left, or changed roles, that the same camaraderie isn’t there any more.
DH was not told to shield, but his combined health conditions meant that, if he had caught Covid, he would probably have died, so he avoided crowded places. We did resume going on holiday but always by car, self-catering, so we did not mix much. I restricted my activities a bit so as not to put him at risk, including not seeing much of the school-age grandchildren , but that no longer applies.
As others have said, life has reached a different stage.

I live very close to the beach
Oh, lucky you, petra
I miss the coast and the sea.

Yes, our lives have become more limited, although we've been out and I go out to some groups again and have been out for lunch with friends, we have not been away on holiday nor on a plane since then.

DH was very ill during Covid and I've had surgery which has curtailed our lives somewhat.

I do think that motorway traffic has increased a lot and find travel which necessitates motorway driving very offputting now.

Germanshepherdsmum

I too am reassured to read that I am not alone. Neither of us has had covid but, especially because I have asthma, I continue to avoid crowded, enclosed spaces. I have certainly lost some of my confidence. My life is quieter but we are both content in the smaller world we now inhabit. Neither of us has any desire to negotiate airports or sit in planes with germ-ridden fellow passengers. Been there, done that, happy with what I now have and grateful for it.

So many places still on my bucket list but I'll have to be content watching celebs on their travels on TV now!

heavenlyheath

Definitely after covid my husband aged 73 decided marriage wasn't for him I was post total knee replacement op when he left a note divorce it is. Walked off with 1/2 the money from our house never mind I had been widowed at 34 and I owned 75% of the house.

Oh heavenlyheath, I'm so sorry to read that.
However, by the sounds of it, perhaps you're well rid if he could look after you after a tkr.

Couldn't not could!!

Callistemon21

Germanshepherdsmum

I too am reassured to read that I am not alone. Neither of us has had covid but, especially because I have asthma, I continue to avoid crowded, enclosed spaces. I have certainly lost some of my confidence. My life is quieter but we are both content in the smaller world we now inhabit. Neither of us has any desire to negotiate airports or sit in planes with germ-ridden fellow passengers. Been there, done that, happy with what I now have and grateful for it.

So many places still on my bucket list but I'll have to be content watching celebs on their travels on TV now!

I saw more of the Terracotta Army on the telly than I saw at the actual site in China. Sooooo crowded. The same with the Great Wall, manic.

Monica thank you for your explanation. I was trying to say that whilst for many, if not most of us on GN, life has changed because we have become less confident, or the groups we went to have closed (one of mine did) and we have aged and therefore became maybe less mobile or less motivated, and our world has shrunk. However for some of us Covid was catastrophic in that some of us lost our husbands, or another member of our close family, or lost a dear lifelong friend, or like heavenlyheath had our partner walk out on us, all because of Covid. We lost our beloved daughter, she didn’t die, she worked as a doctor throughout most of Covid, but her abusive husband persuaded her she’d be better off away from her very supportive family (he’d been trying for the entirety of their ten year marriage but she refused) and now the results for both us and her, and our three grandchildren are catastrophic. There is much else but I can’t write it on a public forum I’m afraid. You would understand if you were fully aware.
So I’m saying that the loss of some confidence, whilst unpleasant, is not catastrophic. I understand loss of confidence because I suffered some of that too, plus the loss of confidence driving, although that’s improving. I also lost my mother towards the end of Covid, not from Covid, and I recognise that loss has also affected my life.

I go out far less often than I used to. My husband has become a hermit and I am becoming that way. I dread outings and never, ever go out in the evenings now. I used to belong to the U3A and went to French speaking groups locally but I gave all that up during Covid and have no desire to go back. We stopped going on holiday apart from short breaks. Gosh - I really sound like a misery!

Etoile2701

I go out far less often than I used to. My husband has become a hermit and I am becoming that way. I dread outings and never, ever go out in the evenings now. I used to belong to the U3A and went to French speaking groups locally but I gave all that up during Covid and have no desire to go back. We stopped going on holiday apart from short breaks. Gosh - I really sound like a misery!

You sound just like me! I rely on podcasts etc to get me through the day. I was thinking the other day of all the folk concerts I’d love to go to. Mind you, my arthritis is restricting what I do these days anyway, so maybe I would have been like this even without covid.

I worry now about going on cruises, remembering those trapped on board at the beginning of Covid, about flying all those germs from the planes air conditioning, the queues etc.
The groups I went to now not begun again, so life has changed but I’m four years older and been creaking with arthritis. Glad to be here though.

I lost my husband in late 2019 and had hardly grieved when Covid reared its ugly head. I was isolated from family until I bubbled with my daughter and her family but I have diabetes so I limited meeting socially with them. I have had all the jabs and have not had Covid. I am now suffering from delayed grief because Covid avoidance was paramount so took over my every thought at the time. It has hit me like a train and it’s like I lost him recently. Life for me has changed dramatically.

My DH was terminally ill during lockdown, trying to access care and treatment was a waking nightmare. I managed to avoid catching covid and protected DH by being totally OTT, I cleaned delivered shopping with anti viral/bacterial wipes and left post lying in the box for 24 hours before opening.
Four years on and immediately after my 8th vaccination I got covid 😫

Two groups I belonged to never resumed after covid. I think a lot of social events suitable for pensioners closed. There are other things I could join but it's sad to lose groups where you know people and enjoy going.

Teachers of older children regurarily say they are still seeing the effects of lockdown on mental health. A lot of pensioners are seeing the effect of lockdown on their families, which can impact them.

Yes for sure. My disabled husband became virtually housebound. The enforced separation from grandchildren has meant that there's a divide that wasn't there before. I know they would have grown up anyway but it was instant. We don't get out very much at all. No going back for us.

I became very depressed during the second lockdown and it now still comes back to haunt me. I really can't look back and find anything good about it, and I can't help that feeling of regret that it took away two of the remaining years of my life and aged me considerably. However I do understand it was a necessity. I feel so sorry for the youngsters, though, whose education and, in many cases, mental health suffered so dreadfully. I'm convinced it was that second lockdown that did the lasting damage - the first one, with lovely weather and that feeling of everybody pulling together in a caring community, I'm sure had many positive effects.