Are you too scared to post what you really think?

Casdon

I think it depends on the thread topics. I’m always forthright on news and politics threads, there are a lot of people with strong views on them and you have to be prepared to stand your ground - but that’s just the nature of the beast, in conversation as well as online, it’s not personal but about the topic being discussed. I can understand the more sensitive find them challenging though because if you aren’t well informed you get a tough ride (although nothing like as tough as you’d get on Mumsnet).
I steer clear of estrangement, gender and royal threads, which seem to be where there is most personal conflict, and it’s a lot less stressful not to get involved at all.

I echo your sentiments.

There is IMO nothing wrong with being forthright on the N&P topics. If you watch similar debates on TV, participants can be quite direct and outspoken.

As you say, it's the nature of the beast.

Social media can be a bit like standing up in Hyde Park on a soapbox (do they still do this?) where the crowd assembles around you. Some will listen and applaud - others will heckle and taunt. I think, especially on the N&P threads, you have to be prepared for both possibilities.

I'm probably nore forthright face-to-face than on here. I don't like being the first to stick my head above the parapet, but if someone is getting a lot of hassle for expressing what are broadly my views, then I'll add my tuppence hap'worth.

I don't want to control language, but I really despair at tabloid cliches being used to sum up complex thoughts, and back off threads where they are in most posts. 'Remoaners', 'fall off a cliff', 'on its knees' - there are so many, and they go back and forth with none of the detail in the topic being discussed.

It's not that I'm scared to post, but there is no point in joining in, as I'd be constantly asking 'what does 'sheeple' mean?', or 'what will the impact on x be if the economy falls off a cliff' - is that better than it being on its knees?'. It's impossible to discuss anything like that, and I would sound pompous, so I just go and do something else instead - it's better for my blood pressure .

But the tabloid cliches are no worse than the Guardian ones .

"Are you too scared to post what you really think?"

Yes, I am afraid, very afraid. I have just deleted what I really think.

Referring to mumsnet is another 'whatabout'

Primrose53, GSM, Skydancer

I think it's unfortunate you feel you cannot say what you want to for fear of being banned.

Our politics don't align mostly, but I do appreciate posts where people don't mince their words - which is something I frequently do because, I am also afraid of being banned so I dither about trying to be 'fair' when I'd much rather say what I really think.

There appears to be a 'received' set of rules, a kind of political-correctness where some things are just-not-said. I don't mean extremist opinions, but those where you want to delve deeper into the accepted narrative, and debate those matters / issues, that are-just-not-to-be-talked-of.

... but you know in advance, that if you do it is likely you will get a label attached to you.

I remember once posting as a Remainer, but arguing from the point of view of a Brexiter - saying that although I didn't agree with Brexit, I could see why some voted for it, and proceeded to outline the reasons. I was jumped on immediately by a poster who no longer posts - or maybe does, but under a different name, who was incensed that I didn't stick to the narrative'. Scathingly.

Perhaps some things, as long as they don't break the rules, should be up for discussion an maybe we'd understand each other better if they were.

Unfortunately some posters have their fingers poised above the report button, though there hasn’t been so much of that of late.

Agree 100% GSM.

On another thread someone posted that there were "schoolyard bullies" on Gransnet. At least with bullies you can see them and face them out.

Too many cowardly snitches running to teacher because they are too weak to engage in a robust debate.

Galaxy

But the tabloid cliches are no worse than the Guardian ones .

No, they aren’t - that’s true, although tabloids use them more. It’s lazy cliches in general that I dislike, rather than where they come from. It’s the way they prevent real discussion that I find frustrating.

Bumface Why re you afraid?

biglouis

Agree 100% GSM.

On another thread someone posted that there were "schoolyard bullies" on Gransnet. At least with bullies you can see them and face them out.

Too many cowardly snitches running to teacher because they are too weak to engage in a robust debate.

I've been 'put down' a couple of times, possibly deserved, who knows really, and smarted a little because of it.

I have not though experienced nor witnessed any bullying.

Some posters are direct and don't pussyfoot around their views - but that is not bullying is it? Challenging an opinion is not a personal attack.

If you post on social media and give an opinion for the public to see, you have to surely accept that someone might question it?

You know what they say about the heat in the kitchen...

Well, if you put your opinions into the public domain you have to take on board that some people won't agree with you.
Criticism stings but you have to brace yourself and take it on the chin - everyone is entitled to their own opinion and has the right to make their views known.
But was IS unnaceptable is criticism just for the sake of it with no feasible justification to back up the rhetoric.

Surely the purpose of a site like this is to learn about the views of others. It's good to see things from another perspective. We all have different experiences and this affects our outlook on life and our opinions.
For instance, many people spend their whole lives living in one town and inter-acting with the same group of people. Their views are bound to be different from someone who has travelled a lot and has knowledge of life in other parts of the country/world.
It still amazes me how naive so many people are, including politicians. It shows what narrow little lives they have lived.

This may be the thread to say something, or repeat what I have just written elsewhere.

If it is made to be "bad form" to respond to threads that are dodgy, even if a poster is" bored" or "wants some fun", then there may just be less spam threads.
There may be not. But worth a try in my opinion.

fancythat

This may be the thread to say something, or repeat what I have just written elsewhere.

If it is made to be "bad form" to respond to threads that are dodgy, even if a poster is" bored" or "wants some fun", then there may just be less spam threads.
There may be not. But worth a try in my opinion.

Here’s an idea, why not just ignore them 🤷‍♀️

no not at all scared but I quickly learnt to keep my mouth zipped, when I realised that there were a few horrible, self-centred and self-important opinionated people on GN with nothing better to do than sit here all day and take people apart

Life is too short for all that. I am a positive person and will keep my thoughts to myself

I often start to write a post but then delete as I realise nobody is very interested in what I have to say.

The debate I hate is the one purporting to be about facts but offering no evidence - or starting off factually incorrect (eg politician x said y...).

There are plenty of opinion/chat type threads -
- what shall I wear on a 70th birthday cruise?
- which stick vacuum is best for pets?
- how old were you when...?
I can't help thinking that non-facty people might find those threads preferable and should move over there . Obviously I'd never say that outloud!!

I know it's not ^ just^ me - but I do like to get the "fact" bit right as far as I can. It's really hard to discuss anything with anyone if they refuse to engage with facts.

I know that some facts won't always support my argument and would admit that on a thread if presented with them. I do get frustrated with the lack of nuance though.

karmalady surely positive posts are welcome here??
We need positivity.

petra

fancythat

This may be the thread to say something, or repeat what I have just written elsewhere.

If it is made to be "bad form" to respond to threads that are dodgy, even if a poster is" bored" or "wants some fun", then there may just be less spam threads.
There may be not. But worth a try in my opinion.

Here’s an idea, why not just ignore them 🤷‍♀️

Not sure whether you mean me ignore, or someone else ignore.

I personally would like all spam to disappear and never ever reappear.

I’m not scared to express views on news/politics. I’m very cautious on estrangement threads but occasionally comment though never from a personal point of view. I try not to respond to HnM threads but sometimes fail!
I enjoy reading the different view points

karmalady

no not at all scared but I quickly learnt to keep my mouth zipped, when I realised that there were a few horrible, self-centred and self-important opinionated people on GN with nothing better to do than sit here all day and take people apart

Life is too short for all that. I am a positive person and will keep my thoughts to myself

Thank you, karmalady: you expressed what I was too afraid to say. It is heartening to know that I am not alone.

I am sure most GNs know the difference between lively debate, difference of opinion and what you describe.

I hope I have answered your question MOnica

I enjoy dipping in and out of Gransnet and post infrequently.

There are lots of posters who gain enormous benefit, knowledge and enjoyment from this site and long may that continue.

I enjoy watching the online friendships develop and, yes, some posters are closer to each other than others but I think that’s due to shared experiences, or frequency of posting. I don’t think there are cliques.

I have been subject to attack on several occasions by one particular poster who, in my view is very unpleasant, but she doesn’t scare me and won’t stop me posting.

fancythat

petra

fancythat

This may be the thread to say something, or repeat what I have just written elsewhere.

If it is made to be "bad form" to respond to threads that are dodgy, even if a poster is" bored" or "wants some fun", then there may just be less spam threads.
There may be not. But worth a try in my opinion.

Here’s an idea, why not just ignore them 🤷‍♀️

Not sure whether you mean me ignore, or someone else ignore.

I personally would like all spam to disappear and never ever reappear.

As you are talking in the first person the answer is you ignore.